Lost Moments
by Lynn Metallium
Summary: The caged bird has always been chained down unable to live, yet would he be able to give reason to a life he has always resented and save the heir of Hyuuga from herself? Hyuugacest. R&R Please!
1. Prologue

Lost Moments

By: Lynn Metallium

Disclaimer: I don't own anything (Naruto or Enya!). I'm nothing but a poor little American girl who had to spend all of her money on college and therefore even if you sued me you wouldn't get any money anyway. So please don't get mad and hurt me Xx;;

Song:

A Lost Moment

Enya

**Prologue**

Thin trembling fingers wrapped themselves around the rough handle of the blade lying on the quilted bed. Although the night was silent and the woman seated cross-legged on the bed knew that everyone in the household was asleep, she still glanced around the darkened room studying the shadows, half expecting someone to step out and lay a hand on her shoulder to stop her. Yet nothing like that happened and she felt her heart clench. There was no one that knew and therefore no one would come.

A silent sob came from her pale lips as her fingers tightened on the blade. The moonlight streaming in her window from the court yard made the blade shine and wink at her. Her only friend was the nighttime now, no matter how she knew the people she had grown to have an acquaintance with during the day hours would protest.

_"Don't be silly! We are all your friends!" _

She winced at her thoughts and suddenly found that her hand was trembling so hard that her hand was unable to keep its grip. The handle slid between her fingers, bouncing off of the bed and hitting the wooden floor with a clatter. Her body froze as a feeling of guilt rushed through her veins. Although no warning signs that someone had awoke to the noise came, she still remained still on the bed for some time listening to the calls of the crickets and frogs.

Was this right of her? She knew they, her 'friends' would say no but her heart cried yes so deeply she could hardly listen to any other rational thoughts. Could people care who did not know her? Could she blame people for not knowing her when she only showed the social face, the shy public face? No one knew her private face….Maybe one person…long ago…But he no longer had the patience for the weak woman she had become. No one in the Hyuuga clan had time for a woman who could not hold her own. That was not why they were born. No Hyuuga, male or female was born to look pretty, they were bred to fight and kill. Destroy. It was the same for any great clan in the village and times like now she wished she had never been born into one. She was not worthy.

She moved herself from the bed, retrieving the blade and holding it with a steadier hand than before. Her resolve had since become stronger as her thoughts had taken a different turn.

Punishment. That was what she deserved for blackening the name of Hyuuga. How dare she even be born into this life? How dare her body betray her family, herself and create such a painful hole in the clan. It was an unforgivable sin and for that she must be punished.

Although it was true that her father had pushed her hard as a child, never once had he truly raised a hand to strike her out of pure malice. He hated that she was weak and that was why their mother had bore Hanabi. Even though she would still be heir, there was always hope that she, the weaker, would die before she could take the seat of power. In all actuality, Hiashi had hoped for a son. He did not complain when Hanabi had been born and when she had proved to be the stronger he had placed all his broken hopes on her.

"He still wishes I would die…" A soft whisper left her lips, the first words to come from her mouth in many hours since the sun had set. She gave a hollow laugh, the sound ringing in the room, yet this time there was no fear in her eyes that someone would awaken and catch her awake.

The sting in her arm only came several seconds after the cold blade had made contact with her skin, there was always the delay of feeling as she sliced. Across, across, across, the knife rushed over the pale skin leaving thin lines that quickly started to blossom a crimson color. Five, six, seven….She counted quickly to herself as each line appeared in her arm and a shiver went down her spine as the blood started to dribble down her arm. If only she could carve the weakness out of her…

A furious cry came from her lips as she pressed the blade, slick with her blood into her arm. Carve it out and make it leave her! Make her perfect….A person worth this blood!

The blade fell from her hand once again, clattering on the ground, spattering blood onto the floor as she fell in a painful mess onto the mattress. Pressing her arm to her chest she sobbed. The pain here was nothing like the pain in her heart. Tears fell into her pillow as she pressed her face into the material letting out a muffled cry of frustration. She would never rise above this. She was too weak.


	2. Chapter 1

Lost Moments

By: Lynn Metallium

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I'm nothing but a poor little American girl who had to spend all of her money on college and therefore even if you sued me you wouldn't get any money anyway. So please don't get mad and hurt me Xx;;

Song By:

Enya

**Chapter 1**

_It's only now when words are said _

_that breaks my heart in two, _

_I wonder how you can endure _

_all I've said, all I say to you. _

A tremor when through the young man's body as his knees started to ache beneath him. He had been kneeling on the hard wood floor of the main chamber for close to an hour waiting. Hyuuga Neji had never been known to be a patient man, especially when it came to the Main House. How like his uncle to leave someone like himself in the dark and waiting.

The sun had hardly risen this morning when a messenger had come to the gardens to deliver a message to him that Hiashi wanted to see him. Neji had questioned the messenger to no avail as the clan leader had not given him any additional information to deliver outside of the request for his presence in the main chamber as soon as possible. If the matter had been of great importance though, surely he would have not been made to wait so long. However Hiashi marched to the beat of his own drum, doing how he saw fit. Of course he had the right and no one would dare say otherwise unless they wished to find themselves begging for his mercy and forgiveness.

Although Neji had strived for years to break free from this clan, it was something he could never do. No matter how angry he got, no matter how bitterly he did what was asked of him, the caged bird would not fly free. It had taken time for him to come to terms with his life, even after learning the truth about his father he had trouble overcoming his bitterness. He still felt it from time to time, such as now when he was forced to wait, reminding him bitterly of his lower status in the Branch house. He obviously would not be getting first priority this morning.

More time passed before Neji saw the sliding door that connected the main chamber to Hiashi's private meeting room. Quickly Neji prostrated himself to the ground, pressing his head against the wooden floor. He was disgusted to see the dirt that seemed to be collected there and held back his urge to jerk up and brush it away from his face. It would be dangerous for him to do such a thing and cause disrespect to not only his elder but to the great leader of the Hyuuga clan as well. Even though Neji was sure the older man would not kill him as he might some other Branch house members, the punishment would be severe all the same.

"Neji…You are here already," The surprise in the older man's voice made Neji suddenly feel a surge of stupidity and he wondered, was there something else that the messenger had not told him?

"The message you sent seemed urgent…" He did not dare lift his head, but spoke loud and clear to keep his voice from being muffled into the wood. In his mind he fancied that he could see the elder sitting in his chair with puzzled look on his face. "I came right away-"

"Then you have been here for some time….Fool messenger…" His voice sounded annoyed already and Neji assumed this would not be a very pleasant meeting if he was already getting annoyed. "I told him to give you time to change and refresh yourself from training…But I see you have not."

"No…As I said I came right away," Neji gritted his teeth, of course he had not had time! There had been nothing said about it and he had come in his dirt stained training clothes, still smelling of his sweat. Now he found himself silently cursing the messenger for making the meeting get off to a bad start. He would find him later and put some fear in him for his life that much was certain.

"Never mind Neji, what you are wear matters not to this meeting. Sit up and speak to me, this will be of grave importance. This morning I have had a very important meeting with the Elders- Do you know what about?"

Neji straightened his spine, forcing his weight back onto his legs which were starting to feel painfully asleep from sitting all morning. His eyes darted over the older man in front of him before falling to rest on his feet, not daring to actually meet his eyes. Old age was starting to take its hold on him, no matter how much he tried to escape it, death would be soon for the old man, perhaps as soon as within the next 10 years. Too soon for the clan….Hinata-san would never be ready then to take the position. Although she would never really be ready one way or the other so it made no difference whether it was tomorrow or a million years from now.

"I do not know my lord what you have spoken of. There has been no word of war or disturbance."

"We spoke of the clan…." Hiashi licked his lips as he shifted in his chair, his face flickering with some unspoken pain. Although the older made no sound Neji could not help but wonder about the fleeting look and what it meant. "Neji what I tell you no one has heard outside of the Elders this morning. The Lady Hyuuga nor my daughters know, none of the rest of the clan. What I tell you must not leave this room, do you understand me Neji? Promise me that these words will not escape this room. "

"I understand well." A caged bird never sang without his master's permission. Neji bowed his head to the floor in acknowledgement once again before straightening. Whatever it was, this was a very serious thing if he was being forced to promise not to speak of things.

"I am dying-"

Neji hastily raised his widening eyes as he sat back in shock. Impossible!

"You aren't!" The words escaped his mouth before he even had a moment to think about them. Quickly he pressed his lips together to hold back the rest of his words.

"I am. My body is shutting down and my chakra disappearing, despite everything we have attempted for the past three months to change this. The physicians do not think I will survive this. Although I am in no pain as of yet, no one can live without their chakra…At this rate I will expire before the year is out."

"Why are you telling me this…" Neji stared at him with blank eyes. Of course he felt the shock of the elder leader dying but at the same time, of all the people in the clan why would he choose him…? He hadn't even told his wife yet, if he planed to tell her at all. The bastard.

"My daughter…She is not ready for this. She is not suited to rule but I cannot simply hand this to Hanabi as long as Hinata is alive. I will not disown a child of mine for the sake of keeping the clan alive, but she is much too weak. "

A chill ran through Neji's body, surely he was not implying that he wished to have Hinata killed? How could he even think of such a thing…Another cold feeling rushed through Neji. What if he was to be the one who killed her? He could not. Ever. His sweet shy cousin… Even then, when he had hurt her so bady back then, he had given her a way out because it hurt his heart so badly to see her try so hard and never get anywhere. He had not shown it but to destroy her innocent image of him had hurt him more than he was willing to speak about. She had always been different and he admired that in her. There was no way he could ever cause her more harm. That had been enough and almost more than he could bear.

"What do you plan to do then….Hinata-sama is the heir to your power but you will not disown her yet you do not plan to give her the right of her birth?"

"Do not be mistaken. She will receive her birth right and take the place of power within the Hyuuga clan. Although I thought to have her removed, the Elders have given me new direction."

A sigh of relief escaped Neji's mouth without him even thinking about it. If it had not been for the Elders he hated so much…Hinata would not have awoken this morning, safe and sound in her bed. For once he allowed his hate for the Main house Elders lessen. They had saved his cousin and for that he was thankful.

"What do you plan then? Hinata is intelligent but she has never received the training Hanabi has…" And I don't know why, he thought bitterly. It was her birth right, not Hanabi, the worthless spoiled second child. Hanabi had not been born with the same light in her eyes as Hinata, it was obvious just looking at her that she was truly her father's daughter.

"There is a simple solution to this problem. Hinata must marry a man who will be able to handle control of the Hyuuga clan."

Neji felt like he was living in the twilight zone as he heard his uncle speak these words. Hinata? Married? To someone who didn't know the first thing about the Hyuuga clan? How could his uncle do this to her? How could he do this to the clan! A spike of anger rushed through him and he clenched his hands into fists at his side.

"Who did you have in mind…?" Surely there were not many who would be able to do this job. Most of the men their age were dunderheads…Unless….He planed to marry her off to an older man? Neji shuttered and willed him not to be such a fool.

"Although there are many clans in Konoha that could easily produce an heir with Hinata worthy of leading the clan, this situation is very delicate. We cannot allow just any man to marry into the Main house and have complete rule over our clan. I am not willing to marry Hinata outside of this clan. The man who marries Hinata must be a Hyuuga-"

Neji felt an uncomfortable feeling build in his stomach. He could not allow this to happen to Hinata. Since that time, when he had fought her, he had strived to become the cousin he should have been, to be a guardian for the younger girl as was his own path from birth.

"To marry her to another Hyuuga…You cannot be serious! It could be dangerous to have a child born from such a union would be…"

"A true machine, a spare trump card inside our own clan, yes. It would be a child worth ruling, more than I can ever say of Hinata. She will never be strong, but her husband will be a man who has shown great promise-"

"Who is this man….He must be one of the Elders, one of your advisors even? Someone who would know the plan you have set for the Hyuuga clan…" Neji licked his lips nervously. There were no men of the Main house that would care for Hinata the way she needed to be cared for. Her life had always been one of difficulty and now her father was using his power to destroy what freedom she had left. While he had always tortured himself over his own fate, it was now Hinata who was caged even more than himself and it pained him to see her beautiful spirit become crushed. The light would die from her eyes when this news reached her.

"No, he is none of these things."

"I must advise against this….There is still time to turn Hinata into a strong ruler. She can learn what must be done-"

"No. You are a fool Neji! Hinata can never learn these things, to waste that precious time on her? You are an intelligent man, open your eyes. She will never amount to anything. You must be the one who learns these things Neji."

Neji lifted his head in horror at his words, a tremor running through his body. He knew his mouth was hanging open but he could not move.

"What are you saying….?"

"You will be the one to wed Hinata. You are talented and strong and will create heirs with Hinata that will be five times the man you are and ten times the woman she is. You will marry her and create such children the Hyuuga clan has never seen."

Neji surged to his feet, almost stumbling as blood rushed back into his legs. He swayed for a moment with a wide eyed look at his uncle. He has utterly lost his mind, Neji thought as he stood straighter.

"I cant do that! Hinata is….Hinata is…" He trailed off, struggling with his inner self. Hinata was his special person. He loved his cousin dearly but he did not love her as a man should love his wife! Not that love had ever played a part in Hyuuga marriage. Lady Hyuuga was never hardly seen outside of her room, it was said that she was deathly sick ever since Hanabi's birth but the truth was she was a depressed woman who could not stand the sight of her husband and the life she had been forced to live.

"You do not have any choice in this matter! Prostrate yourself! You do not have the right to stand before my presence!"

"I will not do this to Hinata! She deserves-"The flashing pain in his head made him scream. Nothing ever made him scream, no matter what, yet the seal in his forehead made him crazy with pain. It gave his uncle control and he had not qualms about using it when he wanted his way. Tears came to his milky eyes as he hit the floor with his knees, bruising them as he clutched his head so hard that his nails dug into his skin bringing blood. Forever at the mercy of an uncaring uncle who had simply been able to escape the womb first. His grandmother had been a cursed woman for ever daring to have twins. He hated her, he hated his uncle and nothing ever changed these things.

As the pain began to fade, he tried not to snuffle like a child. Even the strongest of the Branch house could become children under the pain of the seal. Clenching his hands, he pressed his burning forehead to the wooden floor.

"Forgive me Uncle, I forget my place-"His voice was bitter and hard as he tried to keep his arms from quivering. He had forgotten and like a bird that could not see glass he had come up short of being crushed to death when impact had been made.

"You will marry her. You will make children, you will have no choice. You are my nightingale Neji and you will sing when I tell you to sing."

"I understand…" Neji's throat closed painfully as the hate began to build in his heart. For a while there had been an understanding between himself and his uncle but this had just proven that he was not a better man, he was still the same bastard he had always been all of these years, simply because he had the right to do so.

"Do not be so bitter nephew, think of all the good that will come from this. You will have a beautiful woman at your disposal who will never fight you, you will escape the Branch house and you will rule the Hyuuga clan from behind my daughter's icon. Does that not even give you a little pleasure?"

Neji felt his face burn at his uncle's words, not daring to even look up. All of these things were true. He had always dreamed of escaping his cage and now he would dare try to turn down the one chance, the one bizarre twist of fate that would allow him to do so? He would have never dreamed that one day he could rise from his position as a lowly Branch house member to ruling the whole clan. Secretly in his heart he rejoiced, he was going to escape.

"It gives me much rejoicing in my heart uncle. I am honored that you would pick me over all of the other men of our clan to take your daughter's hand in marriage and take your place as leader of the Hyuuga clan. I will do my best to be half the leader you are-"

"You have not disappointed me Neji. Leave now. I must speak to my daughter of these matters."

Neji did not move from his prostrated position on the floor until he heard the gentle noise of the sliding door open and click shut, indicating that Hiashi had left him alone in the room. Fury rushed through his veins at the weakness he could never escape. Forever he would be the Main house's dog to do as they pleased with. Now he would be the tool that would destroy what was left of his gentle cousin's life. He knew her heart would never be able to turn towards him and he did not think he could ever give her what she deserved of a husband.

Furious, he clenched his hand into a fist, slamming it into the wooden floor. The wood cracked under the pressure of his hand and the skin along his knuckles split to leak his blood. Lifting his hand, he stared at his palm as the blood trickled down the back of his hand. This blood…if only he could take it away and be free of these problems, be free of this clan. The dark haired nin's eyes fell shut as he clutched his hand towards his chest.

"This is not my fault," He murmured to himself. "I have no choice. I cannot be blamed…"

The words did not calm him as he hoped, instead his anguish bit deeper into his heart. Forcing himself to his feet, he moved to leave the room. He could deal with this now and he had to find escape somehow. How weak he was…

"Hinata-sama….Your nightgown has been soaked in blood….Have you injured yourself training?"

There was no answer from the girl sitting in the window. She had not moved there since the other woman had arrived. Most mornings the lady of the room would be out training when she came, and she cleaned in peace. This morning however she had been a bit unnerved to find her seated calmly on the windowsill. Nervously she had bid the lady good morning but there had been no reply, only a nod of her head to show that she had heard and acknowledged her existence. Now, changing the sheets of the bed, it appeared that the dark haired heir had not even slept in them the night before. Concern came when she noticed the dark blood stains on the comforter. Alarm had set in when she had found the woman's nightgown shoved under the pillow, the front and arms soaked in the darkening sticky liquid.

"There was an accident, yes" The woman's voice was so low she almost missed her reply. It was odd that she would be so quiet. Although the two did not speak often now, the house cleaner had cleaned the heir's room since she had been a tiny babe. She had changed her diapers and watched her grow into the woman she was now. They were not friends, nor was it likely that they ever would be, even so the older woman could not help but look at the dark haired girl as one of her own. When the ninja had been young, despite being shy at first, she had often chattered away to her about many things, her training, her cousin Neji-niisan, and her mother. Now she spoke of nothing and it was rare to even see her at all.

"Have you seen a medic-nin Hinata-sama?" Concern haunted her voice as she took a step towards the youth in the window. It must have been a very bad accident for there was much blood on the bed.

"I went-"Her tone was still soft. After a pause she slowly turned her head from the window to stare at the keeper with her white eyes, a smile gracing her lips. Truly she had grown into a beautiful woman. "I am well. Please do not worry, Taiki-san. My bandages broke during the night that is all."

Taiki could only bow in silence; it was not her place to argue with the other. Feeling a bit nervous the woman quickly finished her work, gathering the remaining bedding to be washed and escaped from the room. There was something dark in there that made her uncomfortable but what she could not say. Hinata-sama had always been such as sweet girl and the feeling of gloom that had settled over her now days worried the older woman, yet there was nothing she could say to the heir concerning her feelings, the branch house did not have that right.

Hinata stood from her spot even as she watched the woman leave with blank eyes. Taiki was a mere shadow within the Hyuuga compound, something Hinata found herself relating to. A shadow who haunted the rooms with her presence, yet no one took notice. Everyone had turned their eyes from her the day Hanabi had been born.

At first that had been ok, Hinata had never really liked the eyes on her in the first place watching and waiting to tell her everything she had done wrong. The only comfort she had during those first years had been her mother.

Sweet Hyuuga Hotaru, a mere pawn within the games of men. The love of her younger years had loved another woman, a forbidden fruit outside of the clan. They had died together many summers ago, unable to find peace or happiness in a world that only wished them death.

When she was thirteen, Hyuuga Hiashi had become leader of the Hyuuga clan at the age of twenty five. Through pressure brought on by his advisors he took his first wife, Hotaru's older sister Hanabi as his wife. Hanabi had bleed to death only five months later with the miscarriage the first child of Hiashi. When the mourning period had passed, Hiashi had asked her father for her hand, finding Hotaru's face reminded him fondly of his deceased wife. Unfortunately Hotaru was shy and silent, nothing like her sister, who had been a wild free spirited woman and Hiashi's heart became cold towards her.

Hiashi only continued to visit his wife until Hinata had been conceived, yet after the first child had been born and showed signs of weakness, Hiashi had returned to attempt for better second child, a hopeful son who would outrank Hinata. No matter when a son was born, he would be the heir. Hanabi had been a lucky baby. She had been born in a most painful way and had taken almost two days to deliver. Hotaru had almost died and had never truly recovered.

Although Hanabi was not the son Hiashi had been looking for, she was the more superior of the two in all matters, especially in monopolizing their father's heart thanks to being born with the face of the woman she had been named after.

As Hanabi had grown, she had found that she was a second born, and by all rights should have been a branch house child. The only thing that kept her forehead bare was her power and the sickening hope of her father that Hinata would not make it to her twenty-first year, the year she would become his official heir. All of these things had created a bitter spoiled child who did not care for anyone but herself. Everything she did was for her own best interest and done to become closer to Hiashi in hopes that he would change his mind, going against tradition and name her the proper heir of the Hyuuga clan.

No matter how much Hinata might have liked the eyes drawn away from her to see Hanabi, as the girl had become older, Hinata had come to see what a frightening child her younger sister was becoming. But Hinata was very much her mother's daughter and so her mouth remained silent as she took the harsh words and treatment her sister placed on her. She had heard talk that several of her father's advisors would have liked to see the younger sister placed in the seat meant for the shy Hinata. The only advantage the weaker first born had was her father, who remained strong in his decision to keep the traditional ways.

Softly padding from her room, she found herself following the hallways deep within the house towards the room of the woman who plagued many of her early memories.

Hiashi did not love Hotaru, that much was obvious, yet he took good care of her and she lived a life as no other woman in the whole clan ever would. Since her second daughter's birth, she had been unable to bear any more children and all of the pregnancies afterward had ended in miscarriage. Hotaru herself had fallen into poor health as her mind had started to fail for reasons unknown to the court physicians. She had been pronounced unstable and ordered to bed rest.

Thus that was where the young ninja found her mother, propped up among pillows staring into nothing with blank eyes. A house maid who had been arranging freshly cut flowers in the vase by the window made a startled noise when Hinata appeared in the doorway. The flowers fell from her hand as the frightened young girl bowed deeply. Hinata could only blush as she held back a sound of annoyance. She was hardly someone to bow to and yet she could not stop them even though she wished she could.

"I would like to visit with my mother if you please," She took another step into the room as the young girl bowed once again, scampering over the flowers on the floor and fleeing the room like a frightened animal. Hinata watched her for several minutes before sliding the door shut with shaking hands. She did not often come to see her mother, the state that she was in hurt her heart.

Moving silently across the room she picked up the forgotten flowers to replace them in the vase, her hands moving with ease. When she and Hanabi had been young, before Hanabi had come to resent her older sister, their mother had taught them all she knew of gardening and flower arranging. One day, Hotaru use to say, your husband will like to see beautiful flowers in his rooms and fresh greens on his plate. Finally she took a seat next to the spread on the floor where her mother laid and reached out with her hand to draw a pale slim hand in between her own, clutching it as if it were a life line.

"Mother…. My heart is troubled…. things are happening here…things you would not agree with. I do not know what to do…I have never known what to do under the circumstances. I am not a strong person and yet I have been told… I must straighten my spine and carry the weight of the family. I thought Father would die before this day came, that he would rather pierce his heart on the end of a sword than name me heir of this clan. The hate for me he carries showed even today when he called me to the chambers… Why would he wish this upon the people of this clan? Why would he wish this upon me? I do not understand these things Mother…"

The dark haired girl's hand tightened around her mothers sickly thin hand as she tried to hold back the tears that were eagerly gathering in her eyes. She couldn't let them fall, she had to be strong about this.

"I knew… that the time for me to marry was always right around the corner and I know that I should feel blessed I was not sold into the slavery of womanly duty the day my first moon cycle came and yet…"

She bowed her head and willed her voice to be steady, even though the woman in the bed had not taken any notice of her, nor would she ever again perhaps. Hotaru was lost to this word, in a safe haven she had created for herself. In a way Hinata thought her mother was selfish, leaving her alone to deal with these things on her own, but at the same time she felt that perhaps she deserved it after all of these years putting up with the man they dared call husband and father.

"And yet I cannot hold back these tears…" The daughter dared not to say anymore. She could not bring herself to tell her mother, no mater if she was listening or not, how her father had belittled her this morning, telling her how worthless she really was…It made her flinch even now as she remembered how the morning had gone.

_Flashback:_

_Hinata had been summoned to the family meeting room. It had once been used, years ago for the first members of the house, such as her grandfather and grandmother, and later Hinata's own father, late uncle, aunt and afterward her own mother. They would all come together to speak of grave matters within the family that led the clan. Now of course her grandparents, aunt and uncle were dead, Hotaru no longer moved from her bed and Hinata, the true heir of these proud people was not welcomed when the talks took place between her father and Hanabi, the only real members of the first family that were left. _

_She had waited for some time, a feeling of nervousness growing within her stomach as she knelt on the mats, her eyes fixed towards the sliding door, yet no one moved on the outside except servants. When she called to one, asking as to the whereabouts of her father, he replied that Hiashi had many previous engagements before he could see her. When she had enquired as to what those were, she felt as if she shouldn't have asked at all when the servant replied that Hiashi would see the Elders of the clan as well as her cousin Neji-san before herself. _

_It wasn't as if the milky eyed girl held any malice towards her cousin, she never could even when he was the point of almost constant sorrow for many of her younger years. Yet it still made a feeling of envy grow with-in the girl that her father even placed her after the Branch family. She could never escape being placed dead last with her father no matter how hard she tried, and Hinata knew she tried very hard! Yet it was never good enough._

_The girl had been eating from a rice bowl when her father finally arrived in the room, the sudden sliding of the door frightening her so badly she had dropped the bowl of rice as she pressed her forehead to the floor. _

_"Father…" Her voice was low and submissive, she didn't have much of a fighting spirit after all and there was no point in pretending she was brave when it came to her father. Hiashi barely glanced at her as he walked into the room, neatly sidestepping the pile of rice that had fallen to the floor, gesturing with one hand to the servant by the door to come and take the mess away._

_"I see you've made yourself comfortable while you waited-"His tone made her heart clench painfully. She had been hungry and he had been long in coming. Again he wasn't being fair to her. _

_Nether wanted to be there, yet Hiashi had a way of making it painfully obvious that he thought little of the child before him. Ever since that day that Kurenai-sensei had come to take her under her wing, Hiashi had abandoned her in all senses. He no longer trained her, although at that point in her life she was constantly being shown up by Hanabi so it wasn't as if she was getting much proper training anyway. All of her fathers attentions had gone into the younger girl and Hanabi knew she had her father wrapped around her little finger. Even at a young age Hanabi had enjoyed picking on her older sister, much to Hinata's annoyance as well as embarrassment. _

_"There was something you wished to speak to me about?" Hinata raises her head slightly, although he had not directed her to do so. He ignored her movements as she sat up to face him however, his eyes directed elsewhere. _

_"Nether of us wish to be here and so I will make this quick and to the point-"His words only served to make her heart ache even more. Although he hated her, Hinata had never found it in her heart to truly hate the man before her, he was her father after all._

_"This matter is of utter most importance and if there was another way before us, I would eagerly take it," Hiashi turned his piercing eyes upon the girl before him. "You've been nothing but worthless to me since your birth, Hanabi has shown you up time and time again and would make ten times the leader of this clan than you would. Yet I cannot simply throw you aside, you are after all my first born."_

_'How unfortunate…Otherwise I would surely be gone with today's trash' The dark haired girl thought miserably._

_"And thus I must give you the right of birth that not even I am willing to deny you. Despite what the elders say I believe you can do one thing right, and that is the duty that has long been put off, the one thing you will not fail at and that is marriage."_

_Hinata lifted her eyes to meet her fathers, feeling her blood run cold. He wished to marry her off, to an old man no doubt! An elder of the clan! She would be his pawn and his playmate, a caste off to hide behind the curtains as her old wrinkled husband sent the clan into more egotistical ruin. _

_"You have found a respectable marriage arrangement then?" She tried to keep her eyes from meeting his harsh face again, glancing at him in a demurely manor that she was so good at. Although the dark haired ninja was frightened at the aspect of spending the rest of her youth chained to some old man she knew that one day she had to pretend to be strong. _

_"Of course fool child, would I bring this matter to your attention if I had not already found a worthy man? Why am I cursed with such an ignorant child…Yes I have found the man that you will marry and he could come at no better time as soon I will leave this body behind-"_

_"You cannot mean-!" She cut him off despite herself, horrified at his implications yet Hiashi waved her silent with a sharp movement._

_"Shut your mouth and let an elder speak, must you always find a way to stray from your path? Why must I be cursed with such daughter as you! I mean as I say, I am dying surely as the sun will set today and tomorrow and all the days after. I will not leave one such as you to run things of great importance after my death that is why I will leave you with an able-bodied husband. He will know all and you will be relieved from such pressures, is this not acceptable daughter? You will not have to show the clan what a foolish child you are. Am I not a great and honorable father?"_

_Hinata felt her face flush as she pressed her forehead to the floor murmuring words of praise although her mind felt blank and her heart cold. How cruel could a father truly be to his daughter? Did he not care for her at all? All he cared about was saving face in front of the elders and the clan by hiding his useless daughter. _

_"And who would you have me marry father? Surely a man that is simply mere steps away from your greatness?" Flattery would get you everywhere in the Hyuuga household and at that Hiashi chuckled. _

_"At last the fool child speaks a few meager words of wisdom. Yes he is a great man, you should know him well, your cousin, Neji-san."_

_The small girl's face paled, although her father could not see her reaction as she pressed her face hard into the mats on the floor to keep herself from shaking. Neji-neesan… _

_"Am I not a most honorable father my daughter?"_

_"Of course father…you are worth more than a thousand praises, how can I ever give you the amount of glory you are worth…" _

_End Flashback_

Why of all the men in the Main house would he pick her cousin, a Branch house member and the one who hated her most of all, despite the small level of agreement they had come to after the chuunin exams. The two had become moderately close, and even closer after his near death experience after the failed mission to retrieve the Uchiha boy. Yet now, surely he would hate her once again. She was not desirable in any way and a man like her cousin deserved a strong beautiful wife. Hinata knew she was none of these things, although perhaps he would not care as she was merely his pawn to gain control.

"Mother how can I escape this thing…He wishes to trap me as he has trapped you and I…" Hinata tore her eyes away. She hated to admit to her poor mother that she did not want to become a shell like her. It was a horrible thing to say to a woman who had tried so hard all of her life only to be ignored and degraded by a husband who did not love her and yet Hinata could suddenly see her mother's life reborn in herself. The thought scared her to death.

She was startled from her thoughts at the sound of the sliding door slamming back into the wall. Shocked that someone would enter her mothers room with such force, Hinata's head jerked around to find her younger sister standing in the doorway, her cheeks flushed and puffed out with pride.

"Is it true then? Miserable worm is it true?"

"I don't know what you're talking about…" Hinata was no longer shocked at the way her sister referred to her, at first it had made her cry but she had found that crying only made it worse. Now she simply ignored it the best she could, avoiding Hanabi at all costs.

"You know what I'm talking about!" Hanabi stepped into the room, her fist raised as if she would strike the other girl in front of her. "Two weeks from now you will be marked as heir!"

"Oh…?" She didn't have to mask her surprise. Father had neglected to inform her just when the marking would take place and it really had suited her fine not to know anything more about it than necessary.

"Oh? Oh? That's all a foolish girl like you can say! Gods I'm cursed with a dimwitted sister! How dare you not tell me this, you're a sneaky lying worm-"

"How could I have told you something I did not know until you told me this very moment? And how do you know if the words you speak have any truth whatsoever?"

Hinata turned her face bluntly away from the angry girl, placing her mothers hand fondly back upon her breast. Her quiet visitation was obviously going to be cut short today with Hanabi's temper tantrum. Standing and turning back around she found that Hanabi was directly in her face in a most uncomfortable manor. Nervously she attempted to step back, her eyes flickering towards the door. This was not a confrontation she wanted to make now.

"I know it's true, I heard the Elders as they came from counsel this morning!" Hanabi grasped the older girl's shirt as Hinata tried to neatly side step her angry sister and escape from the room.

"What is it that you expect me to do about this Hanabi? Do you really believe I have any control over the counsel? Over father..?"

"You could have refused! Why would you say yes! Why would father ask you in the first place? Father hates your guts!" Every word was spoken maliciously as the taller girl glared down at her older yet smaller sister. "He loves me! Nobody's ever loved you! You're just a shadow here, don't you know? You'll never be able to rule this clan, you're too weak."

"I…" Hinata's voice trailed off as she let her eyes lower to the ground. It wasn't as if she could deny her words. "I…I'm sorry Hanabi…But I cant…I mean….there's nothing I can do!"

The slap to the face was so sudden Hinata hardly had time to register it, instead she only felt the after shock and the painful sting of her throbbing cheek as Hanabi spit into her face, the glob of mucus sliding slowly down the side of her face as Hinata stared at her younger sister with wide hurt eyes.

"H-Hanabi…why…."

"I hate you. I wish you would die-"With that Hanabi spun on her heel and ran out the door, slamming the wooden frame after her. Hinata stood there, the feelings of shock still racing through her veins. It was true that there had been little love between herself and her younger sister but now…now there was only hate.

Hinata slowly dropped to her knees as she pressed her hand to her eyes to hide the tears that were springing into them. Why did these things happen to her? She had never wished a horrible thing on anyone her whole life and yet she suffered like this for being a good person. It didn't seem fair…

"I will not cry…." She murmured to herself over and over as she pressed her forehead to the floor painfully hard, yet the tears began to roll over her slightly chubby cheeks, soaking down into the floor mats as she laid there, her hear throbbing painfully in her chest. "I will not cry…"


	3. Chapter 2

Lost Moments

By: Lynn Metallium

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I'm nothing but a poor little American girl who had to spend all of her money on college and therefore even if you sued me you wouldn't get any money anyway. So please don't get mad and hurt me Xx;;

Song By:

Enya

Author Notes: See End

**Chapter 2**

_How strong, how brave, how true of you_

_to bear the hurt I gave._

_I know it tears your heart in two;_

_all I've said, all I say to you._

The wedding announcements went out the next day, much to Neji's dismay. By the second morning, everyone was staring at him rather openly at him as he walked down the street towards the training ground to meet Lee. If he had known the day was going to start out this way he would have stayed in bed and wallowed in self pity.

"Neji! My esteemed rival! What a glorious day! How the brightness of youth shines from you today! Could it be because of your most recent conquest of a fair youthful heart?"

Neji simply stared at Lee for several moments. Once again he knew he should have stayed happily in bed this morning, especially now that he would have to listen to Lee's so called "youthful" ranting. More like moronic.

"Lee, there is nothing glorious about my marriage," His voice was rather flat as he stepped back across from the green spandex wearing beast, extending his arm in a motion for Lee to come at him. Lee only smiled brightly at his friend's monotone voice; he had well grown use to this after being around the Hyuuga boy for the better part of his life. The two shared a rather odd friendship, a rivalry something to the effect of their sensei and Kakashi, although they did not take up the odd challenges and nether kept score when they fought, or so they both said. Neji knew that he was always winning, 237 to 13.

"Of course it is glorious Neji! Marriage is the pinnacle of young love! Alas if only I could gain the beating youthful heart of the lovely pink haired Sakura, I would be the happiest man in the word!" Lee continued to smile as he too took his stance before taking a leap towards the dark haired youth at a speed that for any other person would have been impossible to follow. Neji's veins bulged about his eyes as he flung his hand out to grasp the boy's leg, easily sending him skidding to the side to avoid his chakra being cut off by the Byakugan user, a frown placed on his face as he stared across the ground at him.

"Being married is nothing to smile about, so wipe that ridiculous grin off your face and fight me before I rub your face in the dirt to rid you of it myself," Neji snapped, trying to keep his stance aloof. He did not wish to speak of these things now, or ever if he had that choice.

"Neji…" Lee raised his eyes as he straightened himself up to stare at the other boy before him. The spandex wearer did not understand; why would the Hyuuga boy be so miserable sounding? Becoming married was surely not as horrendous as he would have the other think, or was it? "You don't seem to be jumping in joy over the accomplishment of obtaining sweet youthful love as I would imagine you to do."

"I can't even image myself jumping in joy over anything so I am not sure as to how you would imagine it," Neji's hands tightened into fists at his side at his bitter attempt of humor. Lee let out a laugh, although the other man's voice had been flat, his words were certainly true. It was very unlike Neji to get excited about anything, perhaps that was all that was wrong, he was simply hiding his glee from the fuzzy browed boy.

"Ah, you speak the truth Neji! You are as excitable as a slug crawling into a pile of salt! But there is no need for you to hide your joy with me after all, you must be bursting! A secretive man like yourself, you must have much to say! Especially since you have never shared with me your love for the fair Hinata! Tell me my friend, how is that you have come to capture the heart of your most lovely cousin!"

The Hyuuga boy's teeth grinded together at the Taijutsu user's words, he had captured nothing other than a painful headache for attempting to refuse the marriage proposal. Why did everyone have to stick their noses into his business? Why couldn't they just accept he was to marry Hinata and not ask any questions!

Turning his back on Lee, the white eyed boy started to walk away before the spar had even really begun. He had no urge to deal with these questions that he knew would come. How could he even begin to explain that he had no choice? That he was a tool that his uncle would use to trample all over his cousin's heart.

"No need to be shy Neji! I know that you must love her very much, so there is no need for you to say! How magnificent your youthful union will be!"

Neji nearly choked when he found the spandex man falling in step beside him. Lee's words sparked a rage inside his heart as he stopped dead in his tracks to turn his furious milky eyes on the other who stared back, suddenly wide eyed at his friend's obvious anger.

Suddenly Lee found himself yanked inches from the ground as Neji grasped the front of his green leotard in a tight fist. Gapping a bit at how quickly his friend had snapped, Lee started to scrabble at the strong fist that held him captive. This was no gentle fist technique that Neji held him in, this was the painful murderous fist technique of an angry Hyuuga man! The mere thought made poor Lee shake a bit as he squirmed, he knew full well that he had pushed too far somewhere although he wasn't sure as to where. Neji was forever acting strange and it was difficult for even Lee, his long time friend to figure him out some days.

"Stop speaking about this as if you know something about it!" Neji glared down at the squirming ninja in his grasp. "It is not glorious, it is not magnificent, splendid or any other disgustingly wonderful word you can come up with. It is my duty and I will treat it as such. I do what is required of me, there is nothing more. Stop assuming there is that sick thing you call love between myself and my weakling cousin."

Lee flinched ever so slightly at Neji's harsh words, stumbling back as the other released him with a vicious shove, turning his back on the other in a fit of arrogance and hatred. It wasn't really Lee's fault he knew but it was hard for him not blame the other man, it was the more preferable choice than blaming himself for acting like a fool under the circumstances.

The dark haired ninja was being completely irrational, Lee knew, but to make him come to his senses would be nearly impossible in a situation like this. From time to time the Byakugan user reverted to his old self, the caged bird of fate. Often it could take as long as weeks before he snapped out of his moods.

"To say you do not love her would be a lie you know. I have seen you protect her from the lustful gaze of men and you watch her when you think no one is watching. I have seen you bristle more than once at the simple touch of her teammates," Lee's voice was rather soft but it was enough to cause Neji to stiffen in his tracks.

"My cousin is weak and so I do the duty that has been placed on me by my elders and clan. I protect her as is required, but there is no more. I cannot nor do not love her as a man loves a woman Lee. It is not my place nor is that is not my duty."

"Soon it will be your duty Neji, to love her with all your might! That is the beautiful trap of marriage!" As soon as the words left his mouth the green beast knew it had been the wrong thing to say to the further stiffening of the dark haired Hyuuga's shoulders.

"Yes," Neji turned to face Lee, his face set in a harsh bitter line. "Such is the trap that is marriage. That is my life isn't it, to forever stumble into the traps laid by selfish men and lay to rot inside the cages as freedom slips through my fingers."

"Life doesn't have to be a trap you know, it is what you make of it. You are still full of spring time youth Neji. You shouldn't let others be so unfair to you…" Lee stammered slightly as he stared at the angry youth. It was hard for him to come up with something to say to the other man. He knew that their lives were very different and so he often found that the advice he had to offer was all wrong for the Hyuuga boy (even though it seemed to work very well for himself and Gai-sensei….hmm…). Yet he always tried very hard to be there when the other needed him, even if his words weren't the best of help.

Lee suddenly noticed the white eyed boy advancing on him and he took as step back to avoid him. He wouldn't let himself get captured by those hands again for he feared that if Neji grabbed him again he might not live to see the next day. However Neji did not grab him, he merely came inches from the other man's face, hissing softly.

"My life is not fair, it has never been fair, nor will it ever be fair. I have no control over these things! The bird is tired of singing for selfish men and wishes to know when he will be free. When will he see the blue sky he longs for? Yet the bird will never see the sky he longs for, for he is forever at the mercy of his owners. What would you have me do Lee? Deny my uncle? Do you really think I have that choice?"

"I…well…I don't know!" Lee's eyes were wide as he stared up at the other boy. "You can be so vague Neji! I only know so much when it comes to your clan…"

"You and everyone else in this village, and yet they would all like to put in their two cents as to how to conduct my life as if they knew my people, my family, my clan, my uncle! Everyone tries to act like they understand. Everyone is not a Hyuuga Lee! You do not understand!"

"Perhaps I do not understand my esteemed rival! But I try the best I can with a man who is so tight lipped about his life that it is nearly impossible for me to learn anything about him," Lee's eyes flickered away from the other man. It was hurtful when the other accused him of these things. He was only a man after all, he tried the best he could but his best was never enough for his rival, for his friend.

"I…" Neji fell silent as he too glanced away. He knew his words had been unnecessarily hurtful to the green beast and yet his pride held him back from saying any words of apology. After a long moment of silence, a heavy sigh escaped the Hyuuga's mouth. He could not pretend that Lee had not tried to the best of his ability. It was not the poor spandex wearer that he was angry with after all. It was unfair of him to take out his anger on him. "A man can only give the best he can, even if it is not enough. Please excuse me Lee, I need some time now."

"I understand, go and have your time. I will wait for you here tomorrow and if I fail to give you a fair trouncing I will do 1,000 jumping jacks!" Although the conviction was there in his voice, Lee waved him away without looking at him. Neji shook his head a bit at his friend's words as he started to walk away. Even though things were rough between them right now, by tomorrow the wounds of the fight would be forgotten and the two would go back to normal. Well…as normal as a Hyuuga Neji and Rock Lee could be that is.

* * *

Although the young girl could feel the eyes on the back of her neck she didn't stop working. Her hands continued to over turn the dark rich earth as she made room for a few new plants she had bought this morning. Sitting back on her haunches, Hinata raised her hand to her forehead, rubbing away the sweat that had been gathering there and leaving a streak of dirt across her face that stayed there unnoticed. 

Neji had been standing behind her for some time, watching her for some reason she couldn't place. If he wanted to speak to her about something surely he would have come to her and spoken, not attempted to hide in the shadows. Neji wasn't that kind of person, but on the other hand Hinata was not the kind of person to ever come to someone else and demand why they insisted on staring at her. Thus the two had come to some sort of a deadlock in concerning one another, which had forced the white eyed girl to ignoring her cousin all together. Although she was aware that soon this would have to change…When they were wed it would be impossible for them to ignore one another.

A ruckus across the lawn caused the dark haired girl to finally look up from her place in the dirt. From the direction of the angry voices, Hinata suddenly recognized Kiba's voice demanding that he be let through. Not many people were allowed into the Hyuuga compound unaccompanied by a Hyuuga clan member and so it was no wonder that the boy was getting harassed by the guards.

"Can't you just let me through for a minute! Mah! You fool, do I look so dangerous!" Kiba's angry voice floated out into the garden as the sound of something breaking and clattering to the ground suddenly followed. Hinata bit her lip to hold back a slight smile. The poor boy was probably having a rough time of it but she didn't so much as move a muscle. If it was really pressing there was no doubt in her mind that the Inuzuka boy would make it past the house servants.

"'Course you look dangerous dog breath! Look at ya! I wouldn't let you through either!" Another voice broke through the noise of the scuffle and Hinata suddenly blushed a bright red. Kiba had brought Naruto with him! Staring down at herself, the young girl suddenly felt very embarrassed, covered in dirt. No one was really supposed to see her like this.

"Oh like you're one to talk!" Sakura's sassy voice reached the dark haired Hyuuga's ears as well. What in the world was Kiba doing coming to see her with so many people? Had something bad happened? A frown flickered onto the girls face, perhaps she should go to rescue them after all. She stood up, brushing some of the dirt from her pants but when she looked up she was surprised to see that the group had entered the gardens, much to the chagrin of the maid behind them, a broom in her hand.

"O-oi! Hinata! Tell this crazy old woman to step off ne!" Kiba shouted to her as soon as he spotted her standing there with a nervous look on her face, unfortunately he was suddenly smacked none too kindly on the head with the broom in the maid's hand.

"You see here you little urchin! The mistress is not to be disturbed!"

Kiba let out a grunt of surprise, his hands rising quickly to protect his head from the fury that was an angry maid. It wasn't as if he could use vicious force on someone who obviously wasn't trained in combat, he could actually hurt the old woman! Akamaru barked furiously at the woman, as if that would help the situation at all.

Hinata covered her mouth, whether to hide her amusement or shock it was unclear as she stood there with wide eyes watching the poor dog boy getting smacked by broom.

"Oi oi! Old woman! Stop smacking him! He was dropped on his head as a baby, he's only got so many brain cells left!" Naruto called from the side, although there was an evil grin on his face at the sight of Kiba being totally beaten by an old woman.

"Please, Makoto- It is ok!" Hinata finally managed to gather her wits around her before the old woman could knock her unfortunate friend out. "They may speak with me, please don't hurt my friend!"

"Yeah it's not like he can help being that way!" Naruto chimed in before Sakura struck him roughly on the head silencing him efficiently with a grumble under her breath about foolish blondes and their stupidity. Oh how Sasuke was superior….Naruto could only glare hatefully.

Makoto paused staring at the young mistress with narrowed eyes. When she had arrived home from the market she had asked Makoto that she not be disturbed but now she had suddenly changed her mind? Well…So were the ways of young ones…

"Excuse me young mistress, I will let you be then." The older woman bowed low to the young nin, backing away from the group submissively. Kiba watched her go with dark eyes, rubbing his head all the while before sticking his tongue out the moment the old woman turned her back.

"God, I thought that old woman would be the end of me," Kiba growled feeing rather harassed, Akamaru barked in agreement at his feet although it wasn't like anything bad had happened to the little pup.

"Well maybe if you didn't look like a little urchin…" Naruto mumbled under his breath, flinching away when Sakura made move to smack him good once again.

"I'm very sorry Kiba…I'm afraid I told her that I didn't want to be disturbed, she wasn't trying to do anything wrong," Hinata gave her friend a sympathetic look. She was very sorry that he had gotten beaten by the broom but it truly wasn't Makoto's fault. The older woman had only been following orders.

"Eh…whatever," The dog boy waved her off with one hand. His head was smarting but he had to put that aside for now, he had heard some disturbing news and he had to know the truth or he would surely go insane!

"Is everything ok? I thought you and Shino would be training…" Hinata peered at the two others that had come with her teammate but she did not see the bug loving ninja in their ranks. "Is Shino ok?"

"'Course he is…" Kiba grumbled, glaring at the young girl as if she had said something wrong, causing Hinata to shrink back a bit. "Hinata…We need to talk about some-"

"Hinata is it true you're getting married!" Naruto suddenly blurted out before Kiba could even think of a way to ease into the conversation. Figures the blonde wouldn't be able to hold himself back.

"You loud mouth!" Sakura snapped, smacking him upside the head causing the blonde to wail.

Hinata only stared at them with wide shocked eyes as an uncomfortable feeling spread into her stomach. How…How had they known such a thing? An uncomfortable silence fell over the group as she stared hard at them, her face blank of any sort of emotion, although she was shaking inside. No one was suppose to know. No no no… Oh god…

"Where did you hear that?" She replied finally after a moment.

"My father…he got an invitation to the wedding…" Kiba started carefully as he watched the young girl's face. She seemed so calm but was that a tremor running down her spine? Kiba frowned… "What's going on here Hinata? Surely it's a mistake-"

"There is no mistake," Hinata replied quickly without thinking. Mentally she smacked herself for replying at all. She did not wish to speak about this matter, especially in front of him…Her heart clenched hard in her chest as her eyes flickered to the blonde who was now staring back at her in shock. They all were.

"What do you mean there's no mistake?" Sakura's voice was low but easy to hear in the eerie silence that had fallen over the group. "Hinata, you can't honestly be saying you are getting married to….to…"

Hinata stared at the pink haired girl, she too knew then? They all knew? How many people knew? How had this gotten out so fast…she didn't understand. She didn't want anyone to know these things! Wasn't her life bad enough? Why did this have to happen now! The wedding invitations?...Had Father really sent them out so soon? Yes he was dying but…she wasn't ready for this!

"I'd rather not speak about these things, I must retire now," Hinata made to step around the three to escape into the house but Kiba stepped in front of her causing the girl to come up short with a squeak of surprise.

"You aren't going to get away without an answer!" His eyes were frighteningly hard and the dark haired Hyuuga couldn't help but take a step back in concern.

"Hinata please, you're being serious?" Sakura placed a hand on the shorter woman's shoulder from behind her, causing her to jump. She was surrounded on all sides…no escape. Naruto was still staring silently at her and she felt as if her whole world had just ended. Biting down hard on her lip the girl tried to keep the tears from springing up in her eyes.

"You know the truth so why are you here bothering me like this?" Hinata wanted to plead with them, tell them to leave her alone ever so bluntly but she just could not make herself be so cold to people whom called herself her friends.

"I don't believe that!" Kiba hissed, stepping forward again. Hinata gladly would have stepped back but there was nowhere to go but into Sakura.

"Kiba stop…you're scaring me…" The young girl whispered softly as she stared into her friends angry face. "I don't want to talk about this…cant you just let me go?"

"No! No I cant let you go! I want you to tell me it isn't true Hinata! Why would you get married! To Neji! Of all people! Hinata that's sick, he's your cousin!"

"You don't understand-" Hinata started even though she could feel the tears start to spring into her eyes. It was true, how could this man, this outsider ever understand what her duty to the clan was?

"You're right, I don't understand! I came over here in hopes of hearing this was just a mistake, a bad dream! But now you tell me it is true and you're ok with that!" Kiba glared down at the young girl, he could see the tears in her eyes but it only made him angrier that she was about to cry.

"I never said-"

"You didn't have to say! You're just going to lay down at let this happen to you? I thought you were a strong person Hinata! But you're just weak-"

"Kiba!" Sakura cut him off with a gasp. Hinata only stared at him with a pale face, feeling a bit shocked over her best friends rage. Silently a tear streaked its way down her cheek.

"You wont even listen to me," Her voice broke slightly when she started to speak. "This is not a choice for me!"

A sob escaped her lips as she pushed past the dog boy, she had to get away from them. She did not wish to speak about these matters especially with them. How could she ever hope to make them understand that this was her duty as a good daughter, to do what her father said? They would never understand, none of them. They did not come from clans like her own the Hyuuga clan was the only old clan like this left. Perhaps the only person who would have had an inkling of this situation ironically was the boy she had never spoken to, Uchiha Sasuke. He too had come from a clan such as hers and although it was no more, he would have some idea at the lengths that a child must go to in order to please the elders. But he had frightened her, and if she was to see him now, she still would be to frightened of him to even ask his opinion on the matter, not the stoic boy would have had anything to say to a mouse like herself.

Silently the three watched the girl make a bee-line out of the garden, her flowers forgotten unplanted. Surprisingly, Naruto hadn't spoken a word the whole time.

"I don't understand…" Kiba muttered hanging his head. "How can she be going through with this?"

"She said she didn't have any choice…but…" Sakura continued to stare after the girl, even though she had long silence disappeared into the house.

"I don't think that this is really any of your business do you?"

Sakura let out a yelp of surprise at the sound of the older Hyuuga boy's voice in her ear. He had been so silent she hadn't heard him coming, how shameful!

"N-Neji! Where did you come from?" The pink girl tittered with a powerful blush on her face, feeling rather foolish over her lack of ability to hear him coming.

"He was standing under the tree over there-" Naruto offered, attempting to be helpful. The blonde had known he was there the moment they had entered the garden, surprisingly but over the years he had come rather familiar with the Hyuuga's chakra. The dark haired boy hadn't even been attempting to hide, so it really hadn't been hard. Instead of being thankful though, Sakura gave him another bruise on the head in reply.

"I think it's time for you to go-" Neji only shot them all a disgusted look. They should have never been allowed on the grounds. He would have to have a serious chat with the guards on duty outside the gates later.

"Who do you think you are?" Kiba growled, his hand clenching to a fist. Although the two men might have gotten along at one point in time, it seemed that it was just as in the past when they could do nothing but go at one another's throats.

"I think, that I am a Hyuuga and you are standing on my clan's land. Thus I can do whatever I like Inuzuka."

Kiba could only stare up at him hatefully for a moment, not trusting himself to speak. It would do no good to attack the youth under these circumstances, he was much too angry and would never be able to focus. Neji was sneaky and Kiba didn't put it past him to put a smack down on him without so much as a sweat.

"Please Neji, will you talk to us on this matter of your marriage?" Sakura begged softly from his side. "I don't think any of us understand what has brought this on. I did not think you…and Hinata were…"

"In love?" Neji scoffed as he finished her sentence with sneer. "If you had a single brain cell in your head Haruno you would know that there is no love between myself and my cousin."

"Then why this marriage Neji? Why would you do this to Hinata?" Naruto demanded, it was practically the first thing he had said since he had stopped insulting Kiba.

Neji stiffened at the blonde's words. Could people really think this was his doing? That he would ever want to ruin his cousin's life like this? It was true what he said that there was no such love between them but he did not hate her!

"Why would you think this is my doing? Do you think that I would hate her so much as to destroy her life like this? No, I say I don't love her, but that is not to say I don't care for her. This is a matter that none of us have a choice in and it would be better for all if you would stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong."

"You jerk-" Naruto hissed, narrowing his eyes. "You're just taking advantage of an innocent girl!"

"You will never understand, now leave!" The dark haired man gritted his teeth as he attempted to keep the anger from showing on his face but he was failing miserably. How could they ever understand this situation! It was one that none of these people would ever face. "This is a matter concerning our clan, no others. Stay out of it."

Neji whirled around, turning his back on them as he marched stiffly away. He didn't care if they left or not, he needed to be alone. The anger in him was crackling and raw and for a moment he wished he had not dismissed Lee so easily this morning. He could have used a good spar against the green spandex wearer right now. But he knew that the argument was still too raw between them and although Lee would shrug it off, Neji knew he had hurt the other man this morning. It would take more time before Lee was healed, he needed at least a day away from the Hyuuga man to fully recover but Neji wanted more and more to find the other man, if only to blow off some steam.

'_Lee…if you were here now, I would pound you to a pulp! …Lee…_' Neji gritted his teeth hard as he thought about the other man. He would then, seek out the fuzzy browed Taijutsu ninja. He needed this, he argued with himself, he deserved it.

* * *

Hinata sat silently on her bed, her eyes staring straight ahead. In her hand she held the blood crusted blade from the night before. Although she had not touched it to her skin yet, it ached to be raped by the blade. Her shoulder shook with silent tears as she bit her lip so hard she could taste the coppery flow of blood in her mouth. Those people, they stared at her with such eyes of hate, such eyes of incomprehension. How could they ever be her friends? No one knew, no one understood her life! She was the only one who could see how these things really went. Not even Kiba had looked on her with understanding eyes. Only hateful vicious things had come out of his mouth while Sakura and her secret love….her…no…her nothing…he was nothing to her! They had both looked on her with eyes of sympathy and…and… 

"I don't need your pity!" She cried out into the empty air, as if those she thought of could hear her now. How brave she could be to shout out to an empty room. She could never dream of saying things like this to some ones face. Fate was cruel to her after all. How it laughed with the voice of her father behind her back and called her names. Loser, failure, no good daughter of mine!

A sob ripped from her throat as she brought the blade down on her pale marred flesh. The wounds from last night were still an angry red, yet the blade did not discriminate on what flesh it cut. Lines over lines, bleeding a bright red, dancing before her eyes. Her eyes could not leave the sight and she stared at it as the terror started to leave her heart, leaving behind a cold feeling of emptiness as she watched that ever precious Hyuuga blood flow away.

"I hate you…. I wish you would go away!" She hissed softly to the blood dripping down her elbow. Cupping her hand beneath her arm to catch the blood she stares at it with cold eyes. This was the reason she suffered so hard….Flow away then blood, be gone…

"I don't want this life…." Her voice sounded hollow and broken to her own ears and it made her heart shudder inside her chest. "Who will save the broken marionette? Her legs are tired of dancing and head grows weary…No one sees where the marionette bandages herself at night and holds herself together by the ends of dry rotted strings that aren't even good enough to hang herself from…"

The heavy silence that fell over the room was only broken by the sound of blood dripping onto the wooden floor.

* * *

"Ten Ten said you were looking for me my esteemed rival!" The sound of Lee's voice cut into Neji's deep thoughts and the Hyuuga boy glanced up from the tree he had been lounging under. Lee stood in front of him, legs spread and hands on hips in an utterly ridiculous stance. 

"I was," Neji replied. The fresh air in the training area and the time alone had done him some good. It was probably a lucky thing for the fuzzy browed boy that his rival was no where near as angry as he had been when he left the Hyuuga compound.

"But not anymore?" Lee raised an eyebrow, feeling a little miffed at the other boy. From the way Ten Ten had been spoken, the Hyuuga had been in some sort of horrible mood, but now he seemed almost calm.

"I am," Neji forced himself to his feet so that he was almost nose to nose with the other boy. Suddenly he reached out and shoved the spandex wearer in the middle of his chest. Lee, unprepared stumbled back, a look of shock on his eyes. What the hell did the other boy think he was doing! A sly smile appeared on the Hyuuga boy's usual emotionless face. It was a teasing look and Lee knew without taking a second look that the dark haired boy was baiting him!

It took less than ten minutes of scuffling between the two before Lee found himself pinned to the ground beneath the other boy, that same sly look still on his face.

"Are you still angry with me?" Lee asked softly. It was an odd thing to ask while he was being pinned down under the Hyuuga boy and it made Neji release his grip on him, sitting back on his haunches to stare at him with an unreadable look.

"No," Neji replied just as soft, gnawed on his lower lip. It was true that he no longer felt the angry of the fight between them this morning, but he was still heated from his round with the three who had come to see Hinata and so he spoke as he rolled off the spandex boy to lay on the ground next to him, propping himself up on an elbow. "Kiba, Naruto and Sakura came to see Hinata-"

Lee turned onto his side to raise an eyebrow at his rival. How odd that he would be interested in talking to him. This was usually the part where Neji gloated in silence and sauntered off to bask in his winning for the rest of the day while Lee slunk off to train harder for the next day.

"Why did they do that?"

"To ask her about the marriage…Bastards…" Neji muttered under his breath. "They wanted to know why I was forcing this on her…."

"My rival is not the type to force any girl!" There was such an air in Lee's voice that Neji couldn't help but smile. Why was it that this fool of a man was the only one who had even the slightest idea of what was going on? At one point it might have disgusted him but now it only made him fell curious towards it. Silently he stared at him with milky white eyes that rather unnerved the green spandex wearer and his eyes flickered away quickly after a moment.

"Why is it that you understand the most of all?" His eyes narrowed but there was no malice in his voice as he regarded the other man.

"Because I try more than most," Was Lee's quick reply. "How many others attempt to understand you like I do? I'm you're eternal rival! I must know everything there is to know about you, otherwise I would not be a good rival for you!"

Lee shot him a rather bright smile, it was almost a good guy pose but the effect was lost because he was laying on the ground. Neji rolled his eyes a bit at the speech. Lee ignored him good naturedly as he rolled back over onto his back to stare up at the clouds. The uncomfortable way they had left one another this morning had faded off into the back of his mind and now he was just content to lay here with the other in a lazy Shikamaru fashion.

Neji however was not so calm. His head was abuzz with all of the happenings of the last few months, especially today. Everyone thought so badly of him. Either he had seduced his dear innocent cousin or he was forcing her into a loveless marriage. No one could understand his point of view, that he did not want this either. Grounding his teeth together it was all he could do to hold back a scream of anger. Anger with himself for letting himself become a manipulated toy of Hiashi, anger at the world for thinking so poorly of him and not even giving him a chance to explain his feelings towards the matter, anger and frustration in general.

For several moments there was a silence around them and Lee had almost drifted off when Neji suddenly moved. Lee's eyes flew open to find his rival suddenly right on top of him. What in the world was he…oh man…he was not going to punch him in the face or anything was he? Lee would have cringed if he wasn't a self loving ninja who never cringed at the thought of being punched in the face (no one does that, really!).

"Lee-" Neji's voice was low and Lee regarded him with silent questioning suspicion. "I want…to…"

"Have a competition?" Lee filled in helpfully with a hopeful look in his eyes that the other man would agree, thus freeing him from this rather uncomfortable new position the two had acquired. Neji only glared down at him and Lee quickly silenced as the dark haired boys lips descended on his.

To say Lee was shocked wouldn't have been really the right words to describe the Taijutsu's feelings when his esteemed rival suddenly kissed him. He was down right floored. He didn't even have time to think before Neji pulled back, a flush on his cheeks and confusion haunting his eyes. Lee only stared with wide eyes, a small noise escaping his mouth.

"I don't understand this, but I want…." Neji hissed softly. "Why….?"

Well that was a hell of a thing, Lee thought silently to himself as he continued to stare up at his rival confused as hell as to what had brought the kiss on. If Neji didn't understand there was no way in hell he understood! By all means he should have jumped up and run away screaming in horror, 'I was just kissed by a man! MY RIVAL KISSED MEEEEE! Oh GOD!' Yet he hadn't moved a muscle, in fact he didn't even feel the urge to run away at all. Of course it could have been because he was Lee and most people assumed he was running on one full cylinder out of five, so maybe he was just slow. But no, he just felt confused…

"Neji…" It was the only thing he could say before the dark haired boy leaned down, brushing his lips against his, almost in an experiment before pulling back again. A soft blush was building on his light cheeks. "Why are you doing this…."

Neji felt something snap inside of him at the hurt sound in Lee's voice. Why was he doing this to them? He didn't even like men, in fact he had been crushing on Ten Ten for some time now! She was a good looking girl with an ass he wouldn't mind having a piece of. Yet here he was now laying on top of his rival, kissing him. He just wanted…

"I need someone…" His voice was low, almost as if he was ashamed, and deep down he was. He was so weak to need someone to hold him and tell him that these things that plagued him at night were going to go away. Soon all of these problems would wash away and things would go back to the way they were before…before he had been pledged to marry his cousin.

Lee said nothing for a moment. It hurt his heart to see his rival like this, like a lost boy and maybe that was why he leaned up and kisses him full on the mouth in return. Neji kissed him back, pressing him into the ground with a sudden furry that Lee was left gasping for air when they finally broke apart.

The two stared at one another, flushed and panting. The situation was one they would have never imagined themselves in and yet here they were all the same.

"I don't love you-" Neji started with a soft voice, yet he was cut off by Lee pressing a finger to his lips.

"I don't love you ether,"

"Then this….."

"Is ok…"

* * *

Author Notes: Eeeeh…that took me forever and I'm not even sure if it's a worthy chapter two to the first…Lee is kind of…weird…but Lee is weird anyway! So yeah…Xx;; Never fear Hyuugacest fans, the LeeXNeji will be mostly fleeting cough I just couldn't resist…its another fetish so SHHH! 

Anyway, I hope to be moving a lot faster since it will soon be summer and I usually get more work done then believe it or not. Also Id like to note the mistake in the first chapter of Neji-nii-san, I dunno why I put neesan, I just wasn't thinking about it XD I do that all the time. Im subject to error because I never actually proof-read it most of the time, Im just eager to post Xx;; To all my reviewers, thank you so much! Please continue to review!


	4. Chapter 3

Lost Moments

By: Lynn Metallium

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I'm nothing but a poor little American girl who had to spend all of her money on college and therefore even if you sued me you wouldn't get any money anyway. So please don't get mad and hurt me Xx;;

Author Notes: You know where

**Chapter 3**

_After all the words are said,_

_after all the dreams we made;_

_every one a precious one,_

_every one a summer sun…_

The soft sounds of panting and lips meeting was the only sound in the Neji's deathly quiet room. It had been like this for weeks, ever since that first day on the training grounds. Lee and Neji came every morning to train as if nothing had changed between the two yet every afternoon somehow they ended up somewhere tangled together in a writhing ball of hormone induced limbs. It was frankly starting to scare the green spandex wearing boy. It wasn't that he hated the sex, although it did worry him how easily he took to something as foreign as sex with the man he had thought of as his rival all these years. No, it was more frightening how attached the dark haired boy seemed to be to the activities between them.

At first Lee had been able to tell himself that this was only a temporary thing, Neji would be back to himself in no time and Lee could go back to his Sakura chasing dreams. But then it became an every day activity and Lee found that he was just too kind-hearted to push the other away. It must be stressful, he told himself, to be forced into a loveless marriage and if he wants this with me…well who am I to say no? But now…well…the man was getting married tomorrow for god sakes and here he was whimpering softly beneath him instead of giving him words of advice on how to deal with his wedding night.

"Neji…." Lee's voice seemed too loud for the silence that had been between them. Neji never wanted him to speak when they did these sorts of things. Perhaps if it had been under different circumstances, Lee would have protested because frankly being silent made him feel unappreciated and used. But let's face it, he thought to himself, I am being used.

"Be quiet," Neji pressed the smaller man down onto his bed, his hard eyes staring through him.

"Neji we can't do this anymore-" Lee managed to blurt out before Neji forced himself on top of him, silencing him with his mouth. Squirming wildly under the larger man, Lee managed to push him back. Neji might have had the taijutsu user beat when it came to most things, but when it came to physical strength Lee was always the winner.

"What the hell are you doing?" Neji hissed, his white eyes narrowing at the boy who was currently pushing him off. He needed this right now, who was Lee to tell him no!

"Neji," Lee spoke softly, his hand grasping the front of his friend's shirt. "You're getting married tomorrow, haven't you given any thought to the matter at hand? This cannot go on!"

"And why the hell not? I need this and you're not complaining," Neji's eyes narrowed slightly as if a thought had just come to him. "Are you complaining?"

Lee hung his head in guilty silence. He wouldn't have put it in those terms but yes…yes he was getting a little fed up with this. Not to mention the pain in his underside from daily misuse. Neji liked it rough and frankly, Lee would have preferred it not at all.

"Neji….Tomorrow you will be a married man. I cannot even start to hurt the beautiful Hinata in this way! Can you not imagine her sorrow if she only knew…?"

"I don't love her," Neji snapped as he rolled off of the other boy to burry his face into the blanket, his hand clenching into a fist. He needed to blow off some stress, why did Lee have to pick this time to be all, 'Lee knows best'.

"You don't love me either," Lee replied in a soft tone. "That is why we must stop this and you must put all of your energies into making her the happiest woman on the face of this earth! Her heart should overflow with the joys of love and youth!"

Neji could only clench his teeth at the other man's words. He didn't want to hear about it. He didn't even want to think of his younger cousin or the wedding or all of the duties that would suddenly be thrust upon his shoulders the moment the ceremony was finished. Couldn't he just shut up and give him a tight place for release? That was the only thing he cared about now, was getting relief from all of the stress that had been slowly building up day after day. Hiashi had been extremely harsh with him this morning during training. The older man was now grooming the dark haired Branch house boy for taking over the clan and he would accept nothing less than perfection.

"Get out," Neji hissed as he sat up and gave the green spandex wearer a not so gentle shove from the futon. Lee rolled across the floor a few inches before he managed to roll over onto his side and away from the other boy's grasp, his eyes wide. He knew that the Hyuuga would be unhappy about ending their arrangements but he sounded furious.

"Neji…please, you must not let this get you down!"

"Don't tell me how to feel," Neji glared at the other man. "I told you before you will never understand something like this. Just get out. Now."

Lee's shoulders slumped slightly as he stared at the other man. This had turned badly very fast and he didn't think arguing with the Hyuuga would do either of them any good. Climbing to his feet the other man turned to stare down at the furious white eyed man.

"I'll be there…tomorrow morning…under the oak," Lee murmured. "If you want to talk before…"

"I said get out!" Neji hissed. Lee recoiled quickly, he had never seen the other man so angry, so emotional, and it made Lee second guess his actions in the matter. Hesitating, he stared at the other for a moment.

"I don't know your situation, you've said it yourself, but I know what it is like to be unloved. Your cousin has something good inside of her, but she's frail and if you throw your anger at her like you do me, you will crush her. Don't break her Neji, she doesn't deserve that."

Neji's back stiffened yet his head was bowed so it was impossible to tell if any emotion had appeared on his usual blank face. Lee shook his head slightly as he slid back the sliding door and slipped outside into the hall, drawing the door back behind him. If Neji did not change, things would be ugly for the marriage. While it was true Lee had never had much contact with the younger female Hyuuga, only with her cousin, he knew that Hinata was a special girl. You could tell just looking at her that she held a certain light within herself, it was calming, sweet and beautiful. Lee always wanted to protect the light of innocent youth; it was his mission, second only to protecting his special persons. Yet he could only feel a sinking feeling inside himself that this mission would fail, as would the marriage between the two. It was such a certainty that it made Lee ache with fury that there was nothing he could do to stop it. He had thought that he could use their times of stress reducing sex to talk some sense into Neji, but there had never been time for words. When the euphoria faded away, so did Neji. He gathered himself up and disappeared from sight, leaving Lee alone and his behind aching. Sure his rival felt better but Lee only continued to feel worse.

"Neji I hope you come to your senses…" Lee murmured to himself. "Or you will destroy the light in her eyes…"

* * *

The wedding came much sooner than Hinata would have ever liked, but then again, she would have preferred it not to come at all. She hadn't seen her cousin around since the day she suspected him of watching her in the garden. Unfortunately that day hadn't been the last time she had seen Kiba, who seemed to think that by showing up asking for her at least four times a week was going to help change her mind about the union between herself and her cousin. The last time she had sent him away, begging off with being ill. They had both known she was lying, but not a word was said about the incident and he hadn't returned since.

Naruto too had never returned since that day, even when she had attempted to seek him out he had turned her away with a smile.

'It'll be nice I bet, to have someone to take care of you like that!' He said in a cheery voice over ramen. 'Bet you're even eager to have a kid! They're cute right? I bet it will look like you.'

She had been shocked by his words and had been unable to speak of her sorrow concerning the marriage. Instead she had stared down at the ramen gloomily as he spoke of all the nice things that must come with marriage. She knew he didn't understand and he was just trying to be nice, but some part of her wished he would be cruel about it. Deny that it was even happening like Kiba and fight it until the very end. But Naruto seemed happy for her, which made things worse…she couldn't even be happy for herself and yet he seemed to be all too pleased. It hurt.

Her maids had dressed her in the most beautiful finery this morning, shrinking back when Hinata had hissed at a young thing for touching the wraps that hid her arms. She begged it off, saying they were ugly training wounds and she did not want them disturbed. Her new style caused the wounds on her arms and soon all would be well. The maids had accepted her words with downcast, wary eyes. No doubt they were murmuring behind their hands that her words were not true. But Hinata could not care less. Who ever had time to listen to maid gossip was not worth speaking to in the opinion of most Hyuugas. The rumors of the young mistress's wounds would die out before any distress could be taken.

"It is time, young mistress…they are waiting." The sound of her maid's voice broke through her saddened thoughts. She could feel the coldness spread through her heart as she steeled herself. The young Hyuuga heir wouldn't allow them to see how they hurt her with this, no, not with the whole clan watching her. Any sign of weakness would be sprung upon and she would surely be torn apart.

When she appeared before them, her face was a blank as parchment and her white eyes stared ahead, refusing to meet the curious eyes that watched her every move. Not a whisper was spoken, but minds were abuzz with thoughts. Was Hiashi right? Would Neji be able to rule them all with such an iron fist and keep this woman child from rising into a position of power?

They all hated her, Hinata realized as she took small measured steps in her wedding kimono towards the main shrine of the Hyuuga compound. Every elder watched her with calculating eyes as if they knew things about her life she didn't know. Somehow she knew the thought was true. Hiashi had probably informed them off all the details pertaining to her life after his death when he could no longer dictate to her. Even in death he would be pulling her strings.

Hinata's legs shook as she approached the alter and her eyes flickering over the priest and the miko. They did not even meet her eyes. Stiffly, Hinata tucked her kimono beneath her herself as she knelt, her head bowed. She had entered first, being of the Main House, the better family member, Neji was somewhere behind her. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled as she felt him staring at the back of her head as he took his place. She did not turn to look at him as he knelt beside her, smoothing his own clothing beneath him. A cold feeling settled over her as she felt the servants carry her father to his place behind her. The sickness was eating him alive every day and he could no longer stand on his own. Most days he would sleep undisturbed but of course the stubborn bastard had to show his face on the day of her wedding. Heaven forbid something should go wrong. As if the elders would allow either of them to run away from this duty that had been set before them.

It broke her heart that her mother would never be able to see this day. She could not be roused from bed, not even acknowledging Hinata when she had gone to speak to her. Would that be herself one day? Dead to the world of the living, despite the breathes of air that continued to circulate her body. Her heart thudded hard in her chest despite how cold her body felt.

'Please,' She thought desperately. 'Amaterasu…Hotei….Anyone who will listen to an unworthy woman's prayer…If you love your devote daughter…please…save her from this misery and pain.'

Of course her prayers were in vain and she could feel the tears welling the corners of her eyes as the priest brought his staff above her head, the paper dangling from it making a slight crinkling noise in the silence. Yet she willed herself not to let the fall. She would not give her father nor the elders the satisfaction of knowing how deeply they dared to wound her. One day, she thought, one day you will all be dead and I…I will be the ruler.

When the miko handed her the cup of sake, Hinata's hands were shaking so hard she could not even hold it. Neji reached over smoothly, despite the vicious glare from Hiashi behind them and steadied it in her hands. Yet Hinata refused to meet his eyes and after taking a deep breath pulled herself away from him. She could not look weak. Not today.

Raising the still shaking cup to her mouth she took three sips before handing the cup to Neji, her snow white eyes finally flickering up to meet his for the first time in months. His face was as blank as hers, yet she could see the small tick of fury burrowed in his brow. The young man was displeased, and for a moment she wondered if it was her fault for pulling away. Their fingers brushed as she handed him the cup and her eyes fell away, unable to look into his face any longer.

After sharing the sake with her cousin, the rest of the ceremony seemed like a blur to her. They exchanged vows and rings were placed upon fingers, Hinata trying to ignore how much both of their hands were shaking as they did the deed. No kisses were ever exchanged in such a wedding, in fact Hinata suspected her father did not want to have to witness such a sickening thing. This was not a marriage for love, this was for the sake of the clan and it really had nothing to do with them or their feelings in the matter. The only thing required of them was the thing Hinata feared with every fiber of her being. Tonight…they would begin the long process of attempts to bear a son.

* * *

Neji's heart was thudding so hard against his chest he thought he was about to die as he pressed his back against the door. The room was dim, lit only by a few candles scattered around the room and everything smelt strongly of incense. He could barely make out the outline of another, his innocent cousin, laying on the bed. Neji swallowed and nearly choked with nerves. How could they want him to do this to her? Never even in his nightmares had he ever thought to take his cousin like this. He didn't want to admit to himself that he not even be able to function at all in his state of mind.

Pushing himself away from the door, he took a step into the room, forcing his rubbery legs to cooperate. He had to do this. Somehow the gods had been merciful enough to them, to spare her from marriage to one of the elders. Someone Neji would have never been able to protect his cousin from. They would have taken her and left her empty as a corn husk.

'What else can I do?' Neji thought bitterly, 'Somehow…I must protect her from myself.'

Narrowing his eyes in the dark, he felt the veins around his eyes swell. Was that really his cousin there or a mere trick of the light? With the Byakugan he could see her outline clearly and nearly cursed in sudden fright at the way her young body laid there, the veins shrinking away faster than they had come. The dark haired youth closed his eyes, but he could still see her body, the image was burning into his brain. She was not naked, but the thin cloth left very little to imagination. It was only there to heighten male arousal, like unwrapping a Christmas present, eager to see what was underneath.

Neji's mouth was suddenly very dry as he stood there, unable to speak. He wanted nothing to do with this young girl laying on the bed, waiting for him to take her as any man would take his wife.

'I'm afraid,' Neji thought with horror. 'I've never been afraid in my life. I have faced men that would have made others cry for their mothers, and yet I have met them with a smirk on my face.'

Yet all it took to make him quiver with the foreign emotion was the thought of taking his cousin. His mind jerked with thoughts and memories, her sweet shy smile at him, the first time he had seen her...what a cute child…and yet…the hate that had grown. How dare she have something he didn't! It had taken so much to make him lose that hate that festered for years in his heart.

'I was promised to protect you…' Neji's mind whispered. 'But now I will be the one to hurt you?'

"I cannot do this," He spoke, his voice sounding much too loud in the quiet little room. Bowing his head to hide his face, he clenched his hands into fists. "I will not do this."

* * *

Hinata stared out at the rain from her mother's window, her eyes dull and her face emotionless. Pressing her hand against the cold pane, she fancied she could feel the drops trailing down her skin instead of the glass.

It had been almost five months since her wedding night. They had lit her father's funeral pyre the next day. The court physicians said that he had used too much energy to attend the wedding, he should have never gone. Hanabe had been in mourning for some time over the loss of their father but Hinata had not shed a tear since her wedding night. It should have never hurt her as much as it had, in fact she should have been relieved that Neji refused to take her. Yet it only made her ache.

_Flashback:_

_All was so silent in the room, Hinata laid there, her body stiff as death as she watched her cousin... her husband… stand there at the foot of the futon bed. Why wouldn't he speak to her? The dark haired girl resisted the urge to squirm around uncomfortably. The only time she had ever worn something so reveling was the one time Kiba, Shino and herself had gone to the beach and they had forced her to wear a bathing suit. It had been the most uncomfortable day of her life. _

_"I cannot do this," When he spoke, she had nearly jumped in surprise at the sound of her cousin's voice sounding so forlorn. "I will not do this."_

_Neji turned from her, his back stiff as he started back towards the door. Hinata had jerked up to a sitting position and stared after him, her eyes wide in horror._

_"Wait!" The cry escaped her trembling lips as she reached out, as if to reach for him. She couldn't touch him, he was much too far away but she didn't want him to leave. Neji to his credit stopped, his hand on the sliding door, awaiting her words._

_What did he mean, he could not do this? He meant to leave her? He would not…Hinata's mind was in chaos. Half was crying in joy that she would go free this night. Her lips had never been touched and he would allow them to remain that way. The other half of her mind though, was screaming in alarm. _

_"You mean to bring us to ruin and cause me such shame?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, but she knew he heard her. _

_"I would bring you to ruin if I touched you, how is it that I bring you to shame if I leave this room?" Neji spoke in a cold voice, still refusing to turn around and look at her. _

_"They will know Nii-san…" Hinata couldn't keep herself from sounding incredulous that he wouldn't know such a thing. "They will know I have not been touched."_

_Neji said nothing as he stood there, but it was obvious he was furious from the way his shoulders tensed up and caused him to hunch forward. _

_"So don't let them know," He snapped. "Or are you really a desperate whore who needs her cousin's touch?"_

_Hinata jerked back at his words, her eyes wide. It hurt, she wouldn't deny that, but she tried to write off his words. They were both frightened and they would say things they did not mean. Neji had not truly attempted to hurt her since those days of their youth long ago. It was merely his nerves speaking she argued to herself. Yet she couldn't hold back a sniffle as she clutched her hand to her breast. _

_"You would think so low of me then? When I try to save us from shame you call me such names. When they come in, they will see no blood upon these sheets. When they spread my legs, they will see no eel has visited my cave. Shameful woman who cannot please her husband, they will say! Do you want them to say these things to me!"_

_Hinata tried not to cry as she spoke. She did not want him to touch her! But oh what would they say if she came out of this room without the blood of truth on the white wedding sheets. If they had not started the process of creating an heir... there would only be pain for her. Neji would be excused, everyone knew that if a man laid with a woman and could not bring himself to enter her, it was surely her fault for being the poor lover. If she could not hold her man's interest or make him happy, then she was not a worthy woman. _

_"Let them say what they will. I have no desire to touch you."_

_"You would do this to me?" Hinata stared at him with horror. "You would disgrace me forever? Can you not pretend for a moment that you desire me!"_

_Neji turned to stare at her, his eyes ablaze with fury. Stalking across the room he flung himself upon her, pressing her down into the bed as he grasped her slim wrists with such a painful grasp that she whimpered and tried not to squirm at the feeling of his flesh digging into her covered wounds. _

_"I cannot believe that you would want me like this," He hissed softly in her face and Hinata cringed._

_"If I am truthful," She stuttered. "I do not want you at all." _

_"Then why do you demand these things of me! When I say I cannot touch you like this I cannot! You demand that I hurt you but my heart will not allow this! Can't you accept that! I am bound to protect you, so…for the love of god Hinata-sama, let me protect you!"_

_Hinata let out a sob as she turned her face from him, refusing to look into her cousin's furious eyes. _

_"Don't you know then? You must hurt me if you want to protect me…Neji I am strong…I will do what I must for this clan..." _

_Neji stared down at her, tightlipped with anger. He didn't want to admit that she was right, that what they did was not for themselves. It did not matter to any of the other clan members if he hurt the younger Hyuuga or not. All they cared about was that the matter was done. She was so forgiving…she would allow them to hurt her like this, if only to please them. That was why…he could not hurt her. _

_"Then I am the weak one," He spoke with cold anger yet he loosened his grip on her. "I do what I do for myself, I care not what the clan demands of me. I will not hurt you for them. You refuse to let me save you!"_

_"How…" Hinata whispered. "How will you save us from this then?"_

_A silence fell over them, the only sound was Neji's harsh breath as he leaned over her. _

_"You will make it a decree…No man nor woman may look upon you…" Neji spoke slowly. "You will not be looked upon for your husband is a jealous man of all and he only wants you for himself."_

_Hinata stared at him with wide eyes. Could she even do such a thing? Would people accept her word?_

_"Will they allow me to do this?" She murmured. She didn't want to doubt him if it could save them…then she would do whatever he said. _

_"You are marked heir, your word is law," Neji pulled himself from on top of her, hovering over the foot of the bed as he reached to his pouch, producing a kunai in his hand. Hinata nearly screamed in horror when he swiped the sharp weapon over his arm and the brilliant red blood bubbled forth._

_"Nii-san-!" She tried to speak but he shoved her out of his way with his free hand and pressed his wrist to the bed, marking the white sheets with the crimson blood. Hinata stared at him in horror._

_"This is a small price to pay to hide a lie and a secret cousin…"_

_End Flashback_

His words still rang uncomfortably in her ears. It was a secret they had been keeping together for the past five months and words were starting to spread that there was something wrong with her.

"Mother," She spoke finally. "I always come to you when I am in trouble…I always say I do not know what to do…and yet I find a way to escape my problems. This time though…I fear there is no escape.

"I must produce an heir…but mother…I must tell you a secret…I have denied my husband… he tells me…" Hinata paused, her voice cracking with pain. "He has no desire of me… I know I have no desire for him, I love another…but is this normal? A man loves any warm place…this is what I hear…So why…?"

Hinata hung her head, pressing her forehead to her mother's shoulder. She did not want her cousin, no more that she had wanted him on their wedding night. There was only one man who haunted her dreams and it was not her cousin.

"I must put my mind at ease mother…Perhaps if I can put this other man from my mind I will be able to put my mind to other uses."

It was not her choice, to want another life. It was not her right to want happiness in her life. A woman of the clan did not deserve it, she was a mere tool of men's lust and desire for power. Just as many women before her, Neji had been married to her to place him in a place of power. Despite the fact that she was the one named heir, he went to all meetings and handled all political aspects of the clan. It was as her father had wanted.

"I will take my leave and go to ease my troubled mind now…tomorrow I will return to tell you if I have relieved myself of these worries…"

Hinata stood from her spot at the side of her mother's bed, bowing slowly as if it mattered to her unresponsive mother if she did so or not.

One day, she thought bitterly, if I am like you, I would have comfort in knowing at least one of my daughters cared for me if no other did…

* * *

Naruto gripped the chopsticks tighter between his fingers as he slurped away at the bowl of noodles in front of him with obvious joy. There were few things in this life he loved more that ramen. The others included a good spar, soaking in the hot spring post a good spar and…someone he preferred not to name. It was good day when the day included all of the above with a bowl of ramen at the end. It was even better when that certain person paid for the ramen.

A chuckle escaped his mouth between the noodles as he thought about that. However…it had been a long time since someone had bought him noodles and that though sobered him back up as he ate.

So lost in his thoughts he didn't notice the dark haired girl approach him until she was right next to him and reached out to touch his arm to get his attention. Glancing up, his mouth filled with noodles he smiled so brightly his face looked like one big grin.

"Hinata-chan!" He spoke around the noodles but the words came out rather slurred. Quickly he slurped them up and gave her a sheepish grin as he rubbed his mouth on the back of his hand. "What are you doing here?  
The dark haired girl blushed as she slid onto the seat next to him, her eyes fixed on the counter for some time before she spoke.

"I…I was looking for you," She said, shooting him a nervous glance from under her lashes. Naruto stared at her in confusion at her words. She was…looking for him? Tilting his head to the side he regarded her with a questioning look.

"What were you doing that for huh? He gave an innocent laugh as he rubbed the back of his head.

Hinata flushed and Naruto assumed it was just from his over eager reaction. Truly he was surprised that she would be seeking him. He hadn't seen her since her wedding. They had all been there but there had been no reception post wedding for anyone to speak to the two newly weds. It had been the most curious wedding he had ever seen, no one looked happy to be there and for the life of him he didn't know why.

"There are some things… on my mind…" Hinata spoke slowly as if she was thinking out every word she said. It was something Naruto himself never really did so he didn't understand the need to be so hesitant.

"Oh yeah? But what does that have to do with me?" He asked with an innocent grin. The blonde felt his face hurt from the forced smile. It worried him that she was here saying such things. He worried what she would say in the minutes to come.

"The things on my mind concern you," Hinata half smiled at his "stupidity" concerning the matter. Obviously the things she had to say concerned him why else would she have spent the time to hunt him down. Not that it had been a hard thing, if he wasn't on a mission he could only be three places, training, sleeping or eating.

"Me?" Naruto smiled in a rather silly fashion despite the suspicion pooling in the pit of his stomach as to why she was here. Hinata only nodded as the two fell silent, nether of them really sure what to say.

Naruto's eyes flickered over the old man behind the counter who was pretending to fill a pitcher of ice water, yet it was obvious he was attempting to listen in to whatever juicy gossip he could get concerning the Hyuuga girl.

"Mah old man! Mind your own business!" Naruto yelled, unnecessarily loud as he grasped the dark haired girl's arm, leaving his money on the table for his ramen. Pulling her gently away from the stand, the blonde shot her a sweet smile. Naruto did not stop until he had reached the edge of the training grounds, the concern as to what he would say to her burning in the bottom of his stomach.

"Now!" He announced grasping her hands in his own, silly smile on his lips as he attempted to hide his uncertainty. "What is it you need to tell me?"

"Naruto I…" Hinata trailed off, her voice breaking slightly. "I…I have to tell you…that I…I really…l-l-..love…."

"I know," Naruto interrupted softly. It was hard for him to see her like this and he didn't want to let her flounder around. If he could save someone else the pain he would. "Someone said… that you cared about me."

Hinata fell silent, staring at the ground as if she could sear a hole through it if she stared hard enough. Her cheeks were burning with embarrassment and Naruto knew the silence from the shy girl was affirming what he had said

"Hinata-chan…I…" Now he was the one floundering. He had hoped that she would violently deny it and run away and life could continue as it always had. Yet she was still there, standing across from him in miserable silence.

"I know…I am a married woman now," Hinata murmured from behind her curtain of hair. "And I know…these feelings…they shouldn't exist."

Naruto fell silent, rarely in his life had he been so silent. It was one of the few times in his life he didn't know what to say.

"Just please…tell me what I should do!" Hinata's voice cracked as she reached out to touch his shoulder. "How can I forget this? I've tried-…"

"I don't know…" Naruto's face was blank as he stared at her. It hurt him to hurt her yet…what could be done in a situation like this. "I wish…there was something I could do…"

"Tell me," Hinata lifted her eyes to stare him in the face. It was perhaps the first time she had ever had the courage to look at him so. Reaching out, she touched his cheek with a shaking hand. "Do you care for me? Even in the smallest…"

A blush spread across the tan man's face as he quickly grabbed her hand to pull it away from his face. Hinata's eyes widened at his actions.

"I…cant…I wont lie to you, you're too sweet of a person. You've been my friend all these years. Even when no one would look at me, you would smile when I walked by, I don't know if you know what that has meant to me. But I…" Naruto struggled to think of the words. He wasn't good at these sorts of personal things, he was good at being loud, obnoxious and eating ramen like nobodies business. How could he tell her without hurting her… "I can't care for you, not that way."

"A-ah…" Hinata clutched the bottom of her shirt, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks. She had expected so much, but it still hurt.

"My heart belongs to another Hinata…I-I'm sorry!" Naruto suddenly blurted.

Hinata froze at his words.

"Who…? Does she…" The dark haired girl swallowed hard. "Does she care for you too…?"

Naruto was silent as he hung his head in shame. He should have never told her that but he had been unable to keep it to himself. She had the right to know, but it didn't mean he had the right to break her heart like this.

"I don't know…I've never asked," He replied with a sad smile. "It's a secret, you know? I don't think they even know I exist sometimes!"

"Then you and I have something in common…" Hinata spoke softly as her fingernails dug through the fabric of her shirt in her effort to keep from falling to pieces in front of him

"That isn't true!" Naruto protested. "I've seen you! All these years! I know you are alive Hinata! Please…don't put so little faith in me! Don't be like everyone else who doesn't believe in me at all! I know you're different so please don't change! I just…what do you say when you know you can't care for a person like you should? What could I say? I thought…I thought it was better I say nothing! Was I wrong?"

"No…" Hinata let a small disappointed sigh escape between her lips. "It was not wrong that you did not get my hopes up. You did the right thing."

"For once!" Naruto gave her the same bitter smile as before. "Sasuke says I can never do anything right! One day…when I get him back, and he realizes me, I'll make him see, I can do things right! I'll make him see my existence you know?"

Hinata stared at him with a look of dawning realization. There was no other woman….she should have known. The other he cared for…Was none other than the ice prince. Sasuke never looked in Naruto's direction, he didn't even care enough for their meager friendship to refuse the offer of the devil. Turning his back on his village, turning his back on Naruto most of all. It was common knowledge that the blonde haired boy slept, ate and breathed how to get his dark haired comrade back from the serpent. Just how far that desire to get Sasuke back went, no one had actually known.

"One day…he will look at you Naruto…" A tear slid down the girl's pale cheek. It felt as if someone had stabbed her in the chest and was twisting the blade back and forth and yet…she loved him. There was nothing else to do but admit defeat. "And he will see what I see. He will feel how I feel."

Naruto nearly choked at her words, his face turning a brilliant red as he stared at her.

"N-no! I mean…you have it all wrong! I mean…" He trailed off, embarrassed for being so uncooperative when she was feeling so hurt. "I mean…don't worry about these things ok? Neji is a good guy! He won't let anything happen to you…you know?"

Hinata nodded in sorrow. She couldn't speak up to say that she and her cousin were not getting along, that he found no desire in her at all. It wasn't something she could talk about with the blonde.

"And you know, if he doesn't-" Naruto grinned, smacking his fist into his open palm. "Tell him I'll kick his ass again!"

Hinata gave a soft broken laugh at his words. It wouldn't please her cousin to hear it and she had no intentions of telling him but it was nice to know that he cared about her wellbeing, even if it wasn't the way she wanted him to.

Reaching out Naruto grasped her by the shoulders and pulled her close to him in a hug. He could feel the dark haired girl freeze for a moment then melt with a small sob against him. Stroking her hair awkwardly, Naruto tried to comfort her.

"Don't cry…you know…Things are going to work out for you! Even if you're unhappy now…they'll get better!"

It was hard to be optimistic about these kinds of things. He had always told himself when he was younger today is the day, when people won't hate me! But when he walked the streets, it was just as bad as the day before. Yet he continued to tell himself, today is the day! Eventually he had stopped telling himself that things would get better. When he stopped hoping for it, it was better…he didn't expect things that couldn't happen. Somehow he wished the words would help her more than they had helped him.

Sliding his hand under her chin he tilted her head up to smile softly at her as the dark haired girl regarded him with teary milk white eyes. Leaning down he pressed his lips against hers in a sweet chaste kiss. It lasted only a few minutes but it was enough to seal the deal. They were friends. They could never be anything more.

* * *

Hanabi glanced up when her sister slid open the door to her room, the room she shared with Neji now, whenever he decided to show up for the night and pretend to have his way with her.

Startled, Hinata stumbled in the doorway, her eyes flickering over the form of her younger sister. She hadn't been around much lately. Since father's death she had been searching for someone to take over her training. Hinata did not know if she had been successful or not. It was better though, when the younger Hyuuga decided not to be around.

"What are you doing here?" Hinata murmured softly, her eyes downcast. "I'm tired, please leave."

"Want to know a secret sister?" Hanabi's smirk made a cold shiver run up the older girl's spine.

"No…please leave." Hinata repeated, tightening her grip on the doorframe.

"I know a secret though," The younger girl insisted, standing from her place on the futon bed. "Let me tell you."

"Please…Hanabi…I don't…" Hinata bit her lip as she lifted her eyes to watch her sister with wary eyes. "I don't want to know!"

"Today I saw a woman," Hanabi started. "She was in mother's room. Do you know what she said?"

Hinata didn't reply, her heart lurching uncomfortably in her chest. What…what had her sister heard her say?

"She said, mother," The young girl pitched her voice up as if she were mimicking someone else. "'Let me tell you a secret. I have denied my husband I know I have no desire for him, I love another!' Oh! I said to myself, this is horrible! So do you know what I did?"

"No…Hanabi…stop this…please…"

"I followed her out into the streets. Do you know what I saw?" Hanabi took a step forward, her eyes gleaming. "I saw her kiss another man!"

The slap to her face was so sudden that Hinata let out a cry, falling to her knees.

"Whore!" Hanabi snapped. "I saw you!"

"You cannot say a word Hanabi! I am begging you!"

"Do you think you can buy my silence? I tell you that I will not stand by and be idle while you drive this clan into the ground." Hanabi clenched her fists, hissing softly. "The elders will know. I will not be silent!"

"It is not what you think! Please!" Hinata struggled to her feet. Hanabi grasped her by the front of her shirt. She was frighteningly strong as she pulled the older girl to her feet, slamming her back against the wall and pressing her there until they were nose to nose.

"I will have this clan. It will belong to me…and I will feed you to the birds older sister. They will eat out your lying eyes!"

Hinata slumped to the floor as her younger sister released her, leaving her to the dead silence of the room.

"Why…" She moaned softly. "Why…"

A broken sob escaped in the room as she reached for the knife.

* * *

Notes:

Hinata and Neji shared a Shinto wedding, just in case you didn't catch that. I don't know much about the wedding process but I did the best with what I could remember.

Amaterasu - Shinto sun goddess, ruler of the Plain of Heaven.. She is the central figure in the Shinto pantheon and the Japanese Imperial family claims descent from her.

Hotei - One of the the seven Japanese Shinto-gods of luck. Hotei is the god of happiness and laughter and the wisdom of being content. He is the patron of the weak and the children.

Now…real notes! I have a few things to say about the comments from last time. I know a lot of people were unhappy with the NejiXLee. What I wanted to say concerning that was that there was no love involved in that pairing. A lot of people said, omfg, that's so…ooc of them! Well, not really the way I look at it. Neji even says, he wants something, it doesn't matter what it is, he wants release from his stress and pain. It just happened to be Lee who was there. Thus NejiXLee Stress Sex.

Secondly, man…first and foremost, I am a yaoi shipper. Always have been, always will be. I just happen to find Hyuugacest interesting. So…if I make someone homosexual, even for some stress sex, its cause I like it, and I want it to happen XD So nyaaah!

Third, I know its taking a long time to get to the actual Hyuugacest but man…its just not cool when the characters are like, wakes up one morning Jee…today I think I love my cousin D! Not so much people! XD So if you can just hang in there, I swear to god its coming!

Thanks for all the reviews though, keep them coming heart I luf you all!


	5. Chapter 4

Lost Moments

By: Lynn Metallium

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I'm nothing but a poor little American girl who had to spend all of her money on college and therefore even if you sued me you wouldn't get any money anyway. So please don't get mad and hurt me Xx;;

A Lost Moment - Enya

Author Notes: See End!

**Chapter 4**

_A moment lost, forever gone, _

_can never be again,_

_so know how much it means to me;_

_all you said,_

_all you gave, _

_all your love to me. _

Hinata pressed her forehead to the ground as she knelt on the mats before the elder counsel. Despite how stiff she tried to hold herself, she could see the tremors that ran through her fingers that were digging desperately into the ground as if it could swallow her up and save her from her fate.

"The counsel has heard many words concerning you, Hyuuga-sama," The old man's words drifted through the silent room.

Hinata could feel her breath washing back in her face, they had not even told her to rise! As if she was no better than a commoner, a non-Hyuuga. Try as she might she found that the anger she felt towards them was much smaller than she would have liked. She should have been furious that they would treat her like that but she could only manage minimal annoyance at this treatment. Things were best if she did not act upon angry impulses so perhaps it was better this way. The girl knew that the counsel would not take kindly to an outspoken, anger prone woman. Never mind that she was supposed to be their leader.

"Your father was a weak man, it shows in you," The elder continued. He was ugly and scarred in the face, Hinata remembered. As a child he had sent her crying and even now she had the uncomfortable urge to flinch when he spoke.

"Such disregard for clan regulations and protocol, are you even aware of how deeply you have transgressed Hyuuga-sama?"

"I-" Hinata tried to protest. This was not what they thought! She had done nothing wrong, nothing!

"I did not ask for you to speak Hyuuga-sama. You may be Clan leader according to all the official signed documents but no one will listen to you here." The counsel refuses to acknowledge her position, the message was loud and clear. You a woman and while we tolerate your less than worthy Branch husband, we do not tolerate you.

The dark haired girl held her breath, trying to calm the fury that sparked within her. Her father had not trusted her with these people and that was why he had married her to Neji. To make sure someone strong could withstand the counsel. The elders had a mind of their own, Hinata was coming to realize uncomfortably, and had little interest in what others had to say. They believed they were the ones in the right, they were old enough to know all the truths. What frustration Neji must go through every day, she thought miserably. She had never thought twice about the burden on his shoulders, instead she was just relieved to be passed over.

"The charges brought against you are indeed grave Hyuuga-sama. Denying your husband and secret love affairs behind his back? How could you be so selfish?" The elder hissed softly. "Even as weak as your father was he had enough sense to relieve you of all clan duties except one, to create an heir that would be a worthy leader for this clan. Yet you cannot even fulfill that!"

"I did not deny my husband!" Hinata jerked her head up, staring wide eyed at the counsel for the first time. Some looked away, refusing to meet her eyes, others stared full of scorn that she would dare to speak back after such a warning from the Elder. The young girl faltered a bit to see her sister seated beside him, the very hints of a cruel smile threaten to burst across her face as she watched Hinata with calculating eyes.

"She is lying," Hanabi spoke, ignoring the furious look the elder gave her for speaking. She was not a member of the counsel, merely a witness.

"Your opinion in the matter is not appreciated young Mistress," The Elder replied tartly. "Your role has been played to the fullest here and it would be in your best interest to stay silent." The unspoken taunt of 'child' hung uncomfortably in the air as Hanabi sunk back, sulking furiously at being reprimanded.

Hinata said nothing, not even looking vaguely comforted by the fact that her sister had been chastised in front of the counsel. Any secret joy she might have gotten by such a display was squashed by the thoughts of what would happen when their attention turned back on her.

"Although young Mistress thoughtfully has already expressed our concerns, I will do the counsel the honor of reinstating the Elders consensus on the matter. You, Hyuuga-sama, are a liar."

Hinata flushed with indignation. It shouldn't have been surprising that they did not believe her but in infuriated her all the same. They would not even give her the chance to explain. Not that she had much to explain to begin with. She would never speak of the lack of desire between herself and her cousin and that the denial was consensual between them both. The dark haired ninja merely wanted to object of the matter of Naruto and herself. They were most certainly not having a love affair.

"To prove your lack of innocence I have sent message to Tsunade-sama herself to send a medic nin who specializes in matters concerning unmentionable acts between two persons. The fact that you placed a rule on yourself that none would look upon you should have raised concern before now and the counsel regrets not looking into the matter."

And yet it had not done anything before now, Hinata thought bitterly, trying to keep her alarm down. The Elder raised his hand, gesturing to a woman in the corner that Hinata had not seen. She was relieved to see that she was not Sakura. How would she have ever explained to the dear pink woman this predicament?

"I beg your pardon, Hyuuga-san…shouldn't this be done…" The woman paused, uncomfortable with so many snow white eyes fixed upon her. "Somewhere private?"

"No," The older man snipped. "The counsel must decide things for themselves once they see with their own eyes."

"With all due respect sir, in my opinion-"She stuttered in utter alarm.

"We did not bring you here to tell us your opinion on how our clan runs. We brought you here to tell us your opinion on the girl. Now, do the duty that we have paid you for or should I send word to your mistress that she does a poor job at training her subordinates?"

The woman paled with horror at his words and suddenly wished she had never woken up this morning and accepted such a so called mission from Tsunade-sama. Not that she could have denied the blonde woman if she had demanded it from her, but she could have at least tried. These white eyed people….She flinched and nodded finally before taking a step towards the girl kneeling on the floor. Before she could touch the girl she was gone.

Hinata had lept up with a sudden horrified need to escape and was zipping towards the door. She was a ninja and she would never let them take her without a fight. The only problem with this logic was the fact that she lived in a ninja village, never mind a ninja clan. Not only was she a ninja, but everyone else around her was as well and the majority were superior at that.

Her fingers had barely touched the door when she was forced to the ground by a painfully heavy body, the cool sharp edge of a kunai pressed lightly to her neck. By all rights, she could have had this man killed. An attack on the Hyuuga clan leader's life (to kill or otherwise) was punishable by death. And yet, who would listen if she said, this man should die, he threatened me.

Furious pain-filled white eyes stared up at the other ninja man who nearly recoiled at the sight. He too knew what she knew. One way or another, he was a dead man. To deny the Elder meant death here and now. Hinata did not blame him for being a slight coward in the heat of the moment.

"Forgive me…Hyuuga-sama…" His voice was rough as he stared down at her, his face contorted slightly in pain as he held her down. Hinata only smiled in a broken way at the man. "I am a good man- I would never-…"

"I will not point fingers at a man who does his best," Her voice was soft and she was sure she heard a small moan of unhappiness from the other man's throat. Tomorrow would find him dead by suicide for daring to take her down in such a way, but that was a fact that would never make it to Hinata's knowledge.

"Bring her here," The Elder's voice broke the small interlude between the two. The man tried not to grunt with obvious discomfort as he stood, pulling her gently to her feet to guide her with a firm hand to her previous spot in the middle of the floor.

"Sir…" The medic trailed off again, staring at the girl who was being held captive before her, obviously as uncomfortable as the guard who held her.

"Get along with it Medic, the counsel grows impatient." The older man flicked his wrist at her in annoyance and the woman tried not to gulp.

"Please lay back Hyuuga-sama…" Her voice was barely more than a whisper and Hinata could not be angry with her. She had no choice. Like herself. The Hyuuga girl's mind was hissing in pain as the guard helped her to lie flat on her back before pining her there. Obviously she would not be escaping again.

With trembling hands, the woman pressed the fabric of her kimono up to her knees, her hands sliding beneath to touch her trembling body in a place no one had laid eyes on since her mother had changed her as a child. Hinata could feel the woman's fingers springing to symbols unknown to most against her. Complex medical jutsus were as foreign to most normal ninjas as health food was to Naruto. Hinata stared at the ceiling, her eyes slowly watering as she counted back from 100 in attempt to keep herself from screaming in utter humiliation as the medic's hands shook against her.

"This girl has never been touched," The words fell out of the woman's mouth in a surprised rush.

"What? Hanabi-" The Elder shot Hanabi a furious questioning glare, while the younger girl shrank back in confusion. How could she have been wrong? She had seen her sister! Kissing that blonde man!

"I saw her kissing him!" She protested furiously.

"Perhaps then…this is for the best…nothing has been damaged, it is obvious she has no been with this other man as well. However the fact still stands Hyuuga-sama, you have denied your husband. Tonight the Medic will stand with the guards outside your bedroom. She will inspect you after. I expect things to be resolved. I expect heirs."

Hinata did not even look at him nor did she speak as the guard helped her up off the floor, her cheeks flushed dark crimson with humiliation.

"I will take you to your room Hyuuga-sama…" The guard spoke softly, his tone hurt. Obviously he was nearly as shaken as she was over the things that had just conspired between the Clan leader and the Elders. Hinata said nothing to him, trying to stop the furious tears that were sliding down her cheeks.

"Hinata…" Neji's soft voice broke the angry buzz in her mind, causing her to snap her head up as she stepped through the door to stare at him. "What is going on here?"

"Whatever they say to you, it isn't true!" The words tumbled from her lips as she stared at her cousin with wide teary eyes. "Whatever they say, don't listen!"

The young man stared at his cousin, confusion clouding over his usually passive face but there was no time for questions as she was gone around the corner.

* * *

Neji sat on the futon, not looking at his wife trying his hardest not to be furious at her. She had said not to believe anything the Elders said, and yet he was so angry it was hard to remember her tearful plea.

"Why didn't you tell me," His voice was harsher than he thought it would be and he saw her flinch out of the corner of his eye.

"They didn't let me find you, I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you the truth," Hinata didn't look up from her hands. She told herself she wasn't scared of her cousin's stare. Of course that was a lie.

"What is it then?" Neji tried to keep himself from snapping. She must have a good reason, something that no one else was telling him. "You say not to believe them but you have yet to offer any alternate I should believe."

"Please do not sound so angered cousin…" Hinata took a breath trying to stop her trembling at the fury in Neji's voice.

"Do not sound so angry? How can I not be angry, oh wife of mine! How could you?" His eyes narrowed as he stalked towards her. "I let you keep something precious to you, and now I find that you have been stealing around behind my back with…with him! Hinata! Of all people Hinata, why him!"

"I wasn't-"The dark haired woman started to protest but the words were cut short when her husband grabbed her arm, yanking her to her feet. A frightened noise somewhere between a whimper and a yelp escaped her mouth as she cringed in his grasp.

"You were! Do you think I am blind?" Neji let out a hollow laugh. "My eyes may be the color of milk but I am not blind nor am I a fool. I know of your feelings for him, but I thought, surely she would not be so stupid! Such a whore!"

Hinata clenched her teeth as a tear rolled down her cheeks at her cousin's words. He was no better than the counsel, screaming about him him him! He wouldn't even give her a second to explain herself. Was she so insignificant to him as well?

"You shamed me," His voice was softer now but still cold as ice. "In front of the Elders. They think I have no control over you and I am not man enough to make a simple weak woman submit."

"Hanabi told them lies," Hinata's voice came out in a hushed whisper, desperate to butt in before her husband could go off on another rant of anger.

"Hanabi…?" The Hyuuga boy was suddenly thrown off by his wife's words. Hanabi? What did she have to do with anything? Was she then…the 'witness' the elders spoke off?

"She watches me, waiting for me to mess up. I…I did not know she had followed me to see mother. Hanabi is afraid…of mother. Afraid of a woman who cannot move," Hinata gave a noise that Neji belatedly realized was a laugh. "Mother is disgusting to her, because she gave up."

Neji knew of Hyuuga Hotaru, the woman who had given birth to his uncle's children. She had long been bedridden, her mind no longer in this world. The ninja did not understand why a person would want to sink away like Hotaru had. She had a good life; Hiashi had given her everything a woman could have ever wanted. Hotaru, he thought, was a selfish woman.

"So she followed you, and then-?" Neji prompted the girl to move on. He could really care less about trivial matters between mother and daughters.

"I…I said some things," Hinata continued, obviously embarrassed to be admitting this to him. "I told Mother…"

Silence fell over the two as Hinata took heavy breaths in attempt to calm herself and gather the strength to tell Neji what had been on her mind these past months. It had been eating her alive but to actually admit it to the other was something she had not been prepared to do. He was very busy and did not want to put up with her fears and concerns.

"I told her…that I did not understand what was wrong with me." Hinata skirted around the real truth. Neji stared at her with curious eyes.

"There is something wrong with you?" He asked, now even more confused that ever. Was she sick? He had been rather busy…he hadn't noticed her it was true in many weeks. But the woman before him didn't look particularly ill…

"There must be," The dark haired girl replied mournfully. "Men have no interest in me."

Neji was dead silent as he stared at the woman others called his wife. Men…? Was there more than the Uzumaki boy! His teeth clenched as the anger began to build in his eyes. His stomach felt like it was on fire. How could she do this to him! She was out with others…more than one, many men! The man couldn't understand why he felt so outraged at the thought of his cousin with other men, yet he couldn't bring himself to think on it. All he could think about was the raging storm inside of him that screamed in utter fury at the thought of her beneath anyone else.

When he grabbed her and yanked her forward, a frightened cry escaped Hinata's lips as she watched him with wide eyes.

"Neji, what-!"

"You belong to me," He hissed softly, glaring down at his cousin who was rigid in his grasp like a frightened deer, unsure if she should stand still or flee for her life. "Not any other man, do you understand me? You are my wife!"

Hinata flinched at his words. Why was he acting this way with her! She had never been with another man. How could she? What he said was true, she was his wife! The only thing she had ever done against him was the chaste kiss shared between herself and Naruto. But that had meant nothing. Even she, who had harbored her feelings for the blonde for so long had felt nothing, only warm comfort radiating from the boy. She had always imagined there would be shocks and fireworks going off when their lips met. Only peace of mind had come over her, that she was free from this silly crush. There had been nothing, only admiration.

"I have never done anything against you husband," She replied finally as Neji's furious breath washed over her.

"You kissed Uzumaki! And you say other men do not desire you! Did you try your hand with them when the boy turned you down!"

"I never-!" Hinata stared at him wide eyed.

"You deny it? Did you not kiss him?" Neji's mouth twitched into a cruel smile as he stared at her.

"I did," She replied, trying to still her heart that was beating so hard she was sure she would die any moment from nerves. "It meant nothing."

"Liar," He hissed, his fingers digging into her skin causing the dark haired Hyuuga girl to flinch. "You love him, don't you?"

"No-! Neji you're hurting me," Her voice was barely above a whisper as she squirmed in his grasp. The look in his eyes frightened her and she wished he would look away from her. "Why are you acting like this?"

"Why…I don't know, don't you?" Neji gave a small bitter laugh as his eyes went vacant. Why…that was a good question indeed. He couldn't understand himself, he should have been happy that someone had been taking care of his wife while he had neglected her. Hinata was a good woman, she deserved so much more than what he had been giving her, a cold silence and constant neglect as he attempted to shoulder the responsibilities that should have gone to her instead.

"Neji…" The feeling of her hand, soft on his cheek caused the man to snap out of his inner turmoil to stare at her with a hard unavoidable stare. Neji swallowed hard as he watched her, overly aware of the hand pressing against the side of his face and the warmth that came from it. For a moment, his eyes softened as he watched her, his beloved cousin.

Any man should have been happy to have her by their side…any man. His insides suddenly clenched as the image of his wife, whimpering and squirming in pleasure beneath another. Even though the Elder had assured him that no damage had been done to her, the medic ninja had proved it, Neji couldn't stop the images from coming up. Every time a new thought came it was seared into the backs of his eyelids and he could see her face, scrunched in pleasure under some nameless body.

"No," A horse cry came from between his trembling lips as his eyes hardened, staring at her in fury. "You belong to me! Me! Do you understand that?"

Hinata lowered her eyes demurely, not daring to reply to his furious words. This was beyond her comprehension. Her thoughts were cut short by a pair of warm lips suddenly descending upon her own with such force that she was left breathless and trapped in a furious kiss from her cousin. He shoved her back onto the futon, causing her to stumble before dropping to her knees staring up at him with worried eyes.

Neji fell upon her, pinning her smaller body to the bed and a soft moan escaped his mouth. In the months following the marriage Neji had suddenly found himself alone. Even Lee would not break his resolve and allow the needy Hyuuga to bed him any longer, much to Neji's disgust. His hand had become a lonely outsource of all of his pent up energies for some time but nothing was as delicious as a soft squirming body beneath his.

A soft cry escaped her mouth as he grasped her breast in a steady hand, his thumb stroking playful circles around her pert nipple as his cousin stared at him with dark uncertain eyes. It was soft in his hand as he kneaded it and the Hyuuga tried to shove it from his mind that it was not like Lee's flat chest in the least. It was easy enough when another distracting whimper came from the woman's mouth at the feeling of his tongue over her body. Such sounds simply drove him to the edge but he would not allow this to come over and done with so easily. She was his and he would take his time and claim every spot, every inch of creamy white skin before this night was over. Never would she need to look to another man, he was her protector, her husband and he fulfilled her every need. It was the reason he was born.

* * *

Another tear drifted down the dark haired girls face as she sat on the empty futon, a blanket wrapped around her waist as she stared straight ahead feeling a sick empty feeling in the bottom of her stomach. It had been over two month since their first night together. Things had changed, not only within Konoha with the retrieval of Uchiha Sasuke (much to his chagrin he found himself stalked day and night by ANBU but of course he should have known there was no other choice after his misadventures with the body snatching snake) but with in her own household as well. Neji had been avoiding her like the plague during the time that they were not required to share a bed. Every morning she woke to find the futon empty and cold. He never slept there, not after the first night when he had stormed away in furry. Hinata was sure that if he had the choice, he would have never come back to her. Neji had always been a very detail oriented person and so it was no wonder that he hadn't missed such a thing…

_Flashback_

_Hinata let out a cry somewhere between embarrassment and utter pleasure, her hips arching up towards her cousin. It was so deliciously wrong, his head between her legs and his tongue flickering over her folds. It was a sin, she was sure. Yet she didn't have time to ponder just how much of an evil sin it was as she let out another trembling moan as he shoved his tongue over her pleasure nerves. _

_"N-Neji!" Another moan ripped from her throat as she grasped his long dark locks with tightening fists. "P-p-p-please! I can't-" _

_A dark chuckle came from between her thighs and suddenly Neji was over top of her. Hinata couldn't help but blush as she felt his hardening member pressed eagerly against her leg. _

_"Hinata," He murmured breathlessly against her shoulder as he arched upward towards her, his member rubbing against her leg and leaving a trail of sticky pre-cum. The woman beneath him only blushed and tried not to continue to pant like a dog in heat from his previous ministrations. Neji leaned up, his lips catching hers in a soft kiss before reaching between them to position himself, ready to slide into her. The Hyuuga girl's breath caught in her throat and she could hear her heart thudding painfully loud in her ears as she felt the head of his member pressed against her entrance. _

_"Neji..I..I.." She stuttered out utterly embarrassed, even as her hips arched towards him, more eager for what was coming that her over worried mind. Neji silenced her with another kiss, muffling her wail of surprise and pain as he pushed himself forward. _

_"Nhh…" A groan came from between the usually silent Hyuuga's mouth. She was so hot and tight he thought he would die. It only took minutes for him to start thrusting into her so hard that she was grounded back into the bed. A desperate whimper and harsh breath was the only noise besides the slap of naked skin in the room. Hinata lifted her legs, wrapping them around him as Neji thrusted deep and hard into her and another cry escaped her mouth. Her little noises were driving the older Hyuuga insane and he tried to ground himself deeper inside her body. Suddenly he moaned over her, his thrusts becoming quick and out of control and stiffened as Hinata felt herself being flooded with his warm seed. _

_It was an anticlimactic ending for such a buildup of emotion for the Hyuuga girl as Neji rolled off of her, leaving her to lay there trembling and blushing in unsatisfied humiliation, a painful throb between her legs and the feeling of the remains of his seed oozing on the insides of her thigh. _

_The two laid there for some time, catching their breath and gathering their thoughts. Hinata let out a soft choked noise when he grasped her arm, bringing it to his lips to lightly brush his lips over the damaged skin there. She did not see the way her cousin's eyes widened, only the feeling of him jerking back as if burnt._

_"What is that," He growled between heavy breaths, staring at her with wild nervous eyes. Hinata drew her arms up around herself with a small hiss._

_"N-n-nothing," She stuttered but he grabbed her arm, yanking it away from her body. "No!"_

_"What the hell is this!" Neji stared down at her arm utterly horrified at the angry red lines before letting his eyes dart back up to her face then back down again as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Y-you…"_

_It was the first time Hinata could ever remember her cousin stuttering or even looking vaguely frightened. The look on his face screamed 'freak' and she recoiled, trying to pull her arm away from him. His face paled as he reached out with shaking fingertips, pressing them ever so slightly to the fresh wounds causing the girl to flinch and him to drop her arm, recoiling from her again. _

_"It is nothing," Hinata managed to force out, despite how tight her throat had become during this exchange as she drew her arms up close to her body. "Please forget it."_

_Neji said nothing as he stared down at his lap with a vacant pale expression. She wanted to touch him but she was too afraid of what would happen if she moved so much as an inch. The moment of silence stretched until it was as taunt between them as a rubber band before Neji finally snapped._

_"How could you," He whispered furiously, still not looking at her and his hands clenched into shaky fists. "You stupid selfish bitch!" _

_"I…" Hinata jerked in shock at his words, her spine straightening and her body tensing as her milky eyes widened in hurt. "What…?" _

_Neji shook his head, his lips pressed tightly together as he shoved himself to his feet despite his nakedness. He didn't speak as he gathered his clothes, yanking them on with robotic actions. Hinata tracked him across the room with clouded tearful eyes until he slide out through the door and disappeared into the night. _

_For a moment there was no sound but the noise of the night animals as Hinata sat there deathly still. A tear slid down her cheek, cold and lonely before a broken noise clawed its way from her chest and broke the silence in the room. The girl collapsed into a tired sobbing mass of Hyuuga. So weak, so foolish! Worthless…Selfish bitch! _

_"No," She moaned softly to herself as she laid there naked among the sweat soaked sheets, a soft sobbing laugh coming from her mouth. No, what did he know! She was not selfish! She was the most selfless person she knew! She gave her hopes, her dreams, her body, her precious soul to the cause of the clan! And what did she receive in return? Nothing! Hyuuga Hinata was selfless, an empty vessel waiting to be manipulated and abused for the better of others. It was a proper punishment, she thought with a giddy rather inappropriate smile on her face, for having such weak blood. She had to make sure things went well, that the rest of the clan did not suffer because of her, the blemish, the clan's black sheep. _

_"I am not selfish…" Hinata whispered softly, her fingernails clawed furiously into the soft damaged skin of her wrists. "I am not. I need this."_

_Couldn't he see! Why couldn't he understand! _

"_Look Neji look at me! This is what happens to weaklings!" Her voice was too loud for the silence of the room and so she fell into silent choking sobs. She was still there when the medic nin entered the room and placed a comforting hand on her shoulders._

_"There there Hyuuga-sama…Things will get better…"_

_'No…' Hinata thought bitterly. 'They will never be better.'_

_End Flashback_

Hinata's gut twisted as she thought of that night and she suddenly found herself overwhelmed with the urge to vomit. Jerking from the bed, nearly tripping herself up in her blanket, the girl rushed to the bathroom barely making it before the contents of her stomach left her.

For a moment she sagged weakly against the bowl as she sat there, her stomach feeling decidedly unhappy with her and the feeling was only growing with every minute. A sorrowful groan escaped her lips as she suddenly felt the rolling of her stomach and yanked her long hair back before jerking up to thrust her head back over the bowl. Life, she decided as soon as she could breath again, was not all peaches and cream these days.

* * *

Neji shifted uncomfortably in his seat to the left of the head elder. In all rights he should have been sitting at the head of the counsel and the elder to his left. However just as he had expected, after his uncle's death he had been ousted from his rightful spot. There was no fighting or changing this usurp of power. Hinata was too weak to properly take her spot, on the days she did appear, she went scurrying from the room less than halfway through the meetings, most intimidated by the harsh treatment of the counsel. Meanwhile, Neji was at the mercy of the Main Branch. Perhaps Hiashi had never thought of it, or perhaps he just didn't care how the elders could take control from Neji with a simple hand symbol. That was all took to send the white eyed boy to his knees in pain and the Elders knew all too well the control they had over him, it was probably the reason the Elders had agreed with Hiashi in the first place to allow Neji to take that position. They could easily control and manipulate one like himself with threats of pain and suffering.

It was a mere blessing he was still allowed in the room. Perhaps they secretly feared Hiashi's spirit haunting them if they got rid of the former leader's replacement all together. On the other hand, it was probably Tsunade's wrath they feared more and the possibilities of the consequences they would face should she find news of the man she formally acknowledged as leader being overthrown. However, Tsunade's wrath must not have scared them so badly as to give him his proper head chair after all. It was almost embarrassing the way they treated him and it made Neji furious inside even if he couldn't voice his pain. When they were forced to go to Tsunade for whatever reason, Neji stood for the clan, it was like being their little puppet on a string and Neji hated it with ever fiber of his body. Even Hanabi, whom had started joining the counsel two months ago after the episode with her older sister, had a higher position than himself, to the Elders right. However her spot was empty today, her being the current discussion of the room.

"I agree it his well past time for her to be married. Her sister was babied for tar too long. Hanabi is already a strong young lady. She may deliver a much needed heir in her sisters place should Hinata prove to be as useless as she appears."

Neji stiffened at his words about his cousin now wife. Things were horrible between them ever since that first night when he had discovered the wounds on her arms. He couldn't understand what would cause her to act in such a foolish manner. Was this not a life every woman wanted to live? Pampered, protected and perfect. So what made her believe she had the right to attempt to take her own life like that! She was obviously so cowardly she failed at every attempt which made it all the worse in his eyes. The long haired man had truly thought better of his cousin after the chuuin exams all those years ago, she had blossomed into a stronger person he could respect but now…Had that blossoming been all a fake act? Was she truly even weaker now that she had been back then?

"I have a grandson…" One elder woman offered up softly from her corner as Neji attempted to turn his mind back to the counsel business rather than frustrating thoughts of his wife.

"And what a lazy no good grandson he is," Scoffed another, causing the older woman to glare at him scornfully. Neji shifted again, his legs were starting to come uncomfortably numb as the elders around him continued to take their sweet time in deliberation. He had little interest in whom they thought was good enough or not good enough to marry Hinata's sister. Truthfully he was not very close to Hanabi at all. She seemed very different than Hinata and there was something about her that rubbed him the wrong way although he could not put a finger on the exact reason he felt that way for his youngest cousin.

"Perhaps….there is another solution," A soft voice spoke up from the corner. "At one time, we supported a young man when we were looking for Hinata's husband. He would have produced fine heirs and made an even better addition to the family…perhaps, with the changes within the last two months he could be reconsidered for the younger's fiancée."

Neji tried not to bristle when the speaker was obviously voicing their displeasure that he had been married to Hinata instead of this other they spoke of. Who then…? Who was the other they had thought of? Neji's mind raced as he tried to remember. Had he been told an alternate person…? He could not remember such a person…For several moments there was silence as the counsel seemed to consider the words of the speaker.

"You speak of…the Uchiha survivor…" The Elder spoke softly, his chin resting in his palm as he regarded the speaker. "Yes it is true that things have changed now that he has returned. However…"

Neji's mind was numb as he stared forward with utter shock. Uchiha Sasuke. They….how could…

"That is impossible," Neji snapped furiously without thinking, his head snapping around to stare at the Elder. "It is too much of a risk for us to undertake!"

Once upon a time Neji might have harbored a bit of respect for the Uchiha boy but it had long since died with his selfish motives and childish actions. True he still saw the other as a comrade to himself even after he had abandoned the village but like most others he was very wary of the other's actions now. The restrictions placed on him by Tsunade-sama were there for a reason. Trust was hard to earn back when you acted in such rash ways, even Sasuke knew that he had royally fucked up and these actions were necessary for the safety of the village even if the Uzumaki continued to have such faith in the other as to declare the Uchiha had repented his ways for sure. Words were cheap after all.

"However he must not be such a serious danger or Tsunade would not have allowed him back into the village like this, even with the house arrest and ANBU watch dogs, he must still have some merit and standing within the village not to be sent to the detention center for the rest of his life."

"Sasuke is still a threat and he will continue to be a threat! There are no sure ways to know if he plans to leave again. It would drag the clan's name in the dirt to be associated with such a traitor," Neji hissed. How could they be so blind?

"….A child of the Byakuugan and Sharingan though-"

"-would be a monster!" He cut the speaker off. Were they really so foolish? It was dangerous! Such bloodline limits….It would be a dangerous machine just waiting to fall into the wrong hands and used for the wrong purposes! How could they think to create a child like that so they could merely dangle it above the heads of all the other clans in Konoha? Did they want to create such upheaval and unrest within the country!

"Silence!" The Elder snapped, gesturing furiously at Neji with furious eyes. "This is not a place that concerns you, thus your opinion is not appreciated-"

"How can you be so foolish as to think-" Neji suddenly fell forward, his eyes wide with shock and pain. A scream ripped its way from his throat as he fell forward onto his face, his fingers curling over his forehead protector and clawing furiously at it. It hurt, oh god it hurt….A million times worse than anything Hiashi had ever inflicted on him. They never held back. He had never even seen the other create the signs, however he rarely did until he felt his forehead feel like it was about to bust open and he would surely die from the pain. It seemed like a million years passed before he found himself sweating and panting on the floor of the counsel room, in reality everything had happened with in a matter of seconds.

"Now, get out." The elder's voice was soft and furious. "We have no need for your filth in here. Tomorrow we will go to see Tsunade on the matter of marriage for Hanabi with the suitor of our choice. Be ready to go at sunrise at the front gate."

"_You are my nightingale Neji and you will sing when I tell you to sing."_ Neji stared at the tatami mats with teary furious eyes, his hands clenching for several seconds before forcing himself silently to his feet. Most of the members of the room refused to look him in the eyes however a few watched him go with proud smirking faces. Bastards, every one of them Neji thought furiously as he slipped between the sliding doors. They all knew what they did was wrong and yet, they all continued as if there was no error in their ways.

He stalked all the way to his quarters however the farther he got from the counsel room the more his fowl mood mellowed until he was merely so exhausted he wanted nothing more than to curl up and be alone. However Neji was startled when he slid back the door to his room and found it already occupied.

"Neji…" Hinata's soft voice snapped him out of his stupor and the long haired male stepped fully into the room, sliding the door behind him shut. What was she doing here? Wasn't there somewhere else she could be? He wanted to be alone, go away!

"I have no urge for idle chitchat," Neji started harshly. "So unless it is a truly pressing matter, it would be best if you left now."

For several seconds Hinata was silent perhaps put off by his tone, seated on her knees in front of the door, her hands clasped in her lap tightly in an effort to keep from fidgeting. Sighing a bit, Neji stepped around her and continued into his room as if she was not there at all. If she wished to sit there like a stone then he would merely pretend she was nothing more. He didn't know what to say to her anyway and it was rather tempting to tell her she was selfish and he didn't even want to look at her because of it. Those marks on her arms…they were a situation he didn't know how to handle and that unnerved him.

"I…must tell you something important," The girl tried again and Neji could detect a bit of a waver in her voice.

"Then say it and then remove yourself, do you think I have all day to discuss idle girl chat with you?" He couldn't help it, the only way he could defend himself now in front of her was to act harsh and shy away from these things that made him feel so uncomfortable. Surely it was of no use for her but it was just a situation he did not have any wish to be dealing with. It was her fault, he reasoned, if she didn't do it-

"I would have thought that this news would bring you much cheer husband," Her voice was still soft and he was afraid she was starting to sound a bit teary. Dear god above if he had made her cry, it would undo them both into something vicious.

"Then I wish you would hurry and tell me what it is so that I might be in much "cheer" as you say," Neji muttered bitterly under his breath.

"I am pregnant."

Her words were so softly spoken that Neji almost missed them. The Hyuuga's back stiffened and he whirled around to stare in awe at his cousin's back.

"For….certain…" He whispered, his fingers trembling a bit by his side. A…child…? She carried…his child?

"The medic nin confirmed it this morning," Hinata's head was still bowed, her back quivering slightly. "I hope this news pleases you husband…"

Neji couldn't help but shiver at her formal attitude. Was she too not pleased? To have a child was every woman's secret dream wasn't it? Many women who chose to be ninjas could not recognize such a dream because it was too dangerous for their career. However there were always those who were able to work around such things.

Reaching out with shaking fingers, he touched the back of her head, his hand barely grazing her hair yet the other stiffened slightly at his touch. When…when had it come to this? That she would cringe at his very touch? Had things degraded between them so much? Silently he pressed his whole palm to the back of her head, stroking the feather soft hair there.

"I am pleased…But…." He faltered slightly, his hand twitching. "Are you not pleased…?"

"I am more pleased than I could ever express…" She whispered in a small voice that didn't sound anything like a pleased voice of an expectant mother.

"Come then…" Neji murmured, offering down a hand to her. "We will announce it now to the counsel. In truth it was the last place he wanted to go again today but there was danger in waiting. They would surely want to know the minute the Hyuuga lady had come with child. It was also crucial that they know this, it could change things. Their plans for Hanabi and Uchiha boy would hopefully go by the wayside with this new news. It was amazing timing, almost frighteningly so. It made him wonder though, what kind of games were the fates attempting to play on him now…?

* * *

Author Notes: So funny thing about this chapter, not only was it really hard to write but this was also supposed to be the last chapter! But obviously it isn't! Hopefully the next chapter won't take me as long. Thank you to all those who have stuck with me and continue to wait so patiently for a new chapter! I luf you so much! 


	6. Chapter 5

Lost Moments

By: Lynn Metallium

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I don't own Naruto, Enya or The Killers! I'm nothing but a poor little American girl who had to spend all of her money on college and therefore even if you sued me you wouldn't get any money anyway. So please don't get mad and hurt me Xx;;

Author Notes: See the end as usual!

Special Thanks: Thank you to all the people who have been reviewing this story it means so much to me to see people who actually enjoy reading it! I'd like to thank a few particular reviews, Saskie, Dixydot555, Thunder Sister, Yimad, Monochromatic Pylon, and especially Blue Quartz Foxy, Savannah and who have given me reviews for at least half of the chapters. Thank you all so much!

**Chapter 5**

_Sometimes I'm nervous when I talk  
I shake a little  
Sometimes I hate the line I walk  
…  
Or should I just get along with myself  
I never did get along with everybody else  
I've been trying hard to do what's right_

…

This River is Wild – The Killers

_Flashback_

_Neji crouched low to the ground, his eyes flickering across the forest floor. It was deathly silent and it did nothing to comfort him. There was nothing that made a ninja more uncomfortable than the deathly silence of a whole forest. He tried to stay still in his spot but every muscle in his body seemed to scream 'move now you idiot!' Instead he crouched lower before gathering himself before springing up into the tree that he had been previously under. His fingers gripped the bark tensely as he tilted his head to the side attempting to hear some sign of life in the woods around him. _

_It had been four months since he had last seen the comfort of his home. Tsunade had not seemed even the least bit sorry when handing him the scroll containing an infiltration mission only moments after his announcement to her of Hinata's pregnancy. _

_He had spent the first month of his mission thinking that she had done so merely to please her inner sadist but after the third month he had lost interest in acting generally bitter over Tsunade's actions. Instead he spent his time thinking of home, a warm bed and a good hot bath that he would gladly have slit another man's throat for by now. He found himself wondering what had happened at home since he was gone, if Lee had been training harder than usual and if he had plans for a rather vigorous spar upon his return. It would be nothing short of satisfying to pound his so called rival into the ground after sleeping for a week. _

_The Hyuuga also found himself thinking of Hinata. The first time his shy wife had entered his thoughts, Neji had been surprised. Never before on missions had he even given her a thought. But now he found himself worrying and just the fact that he was worrying over anyone, especially Hinata made him rather irritable yet it couldn't make his thoughts disappear. He assumed it had to do with the baby more than Hinata herself. The fact that she was carrying his child made him feel an indescribable warm swell in his chest. Similar to the same swell of pride he had after beating Lee again and again but different at the same time. He wondered if she was well, if the baby was well. If her stomach was showing yet, round and full under her clothing. He wondered if she would let him touch it when he returned, if he returned. _

_The mission was nothing short of frustrating for the young Hyuuga. The village had been wary of him and Neji wondered what it was about him that screamed 'don't trust me!' They had been anything but willing to allow him into their society and it had taken all of his willpower not to simply bust into the compound and take what he wanted regardless of the consequences. _

_'Lee would have been a much better choice than I for this mission' Neji thought bitterly. The green clad ninja was possibly the friendliest man on the face of the earth and no one ever found themselves thinking now there's a suspicious person, I don't think I want to befriend him! However the Hyuuga knew exactly why Lee was back home probably attempting to woo Sakura at that exact moment rather than here crouched in a pile of cold wet mud. Lee lacked the Byakyuugan and would have been useless in finding the scroll now firmly tucked in the pocket of his vest. It had been hidden well too, Neji had to give them that but nothing could ever be truly hidden from his eyes. _

_A noise broke the Hyuuga from his silent thoughts and his eyes narrowed as they scanned through the trees for the source. He had taken the scroll this morning from its hiding place and then raced for the border as fast as his body would allow. Unfortunately the weather had decided not to cooperate with him. When he had awoken this morning to a cold foggy damp morning he had almost abandoned the whole self set mission of taking the scroll and getting the hell out of there. There was always tomorrow he tried to convince himself. Unfortunately his manly pride would have nothing of it, what was a little cold and rain? Was he not a ninja that could work under even the worse conditions? _

_And so now he was out here, less than five miles from the border and feeling more than a little miserable. Surely by now they would have noticed the scroll gone. Hunters would have been deployed despite the lead he had on them. They knew he couldn't get all the way to the border unless he was inhuman and while Neji prided himself on being a damn good ninja, he wasn't inhuman. A normal person would take several days to get as far as he had come, it was a good lead but he knew it wasn't going to be good enough. It was very unlikely he would make it to the border without being apprehended by the village ninjas. _

_"Damn it…" The Hyuuga hissed softly under his breath as he stared at the warm outlines of bodies not far away to his left. He had the sneaky suspicion that the men knew he was here just as well as he knew they were there. _

_There was suddenly a sharp pain in his cheek and Neji whirled around, snarling with pain. His hand shot up, covering his cheek and his fingers quickly became damp with his warm blood. The Hyuuga had been so focused on the three men that he had lost sight of what could been behind him. Obviously they had been fucking decoys, bastards._

_Neji leaped from the slippery branch to the ground, kunai gripped tightly in both of his hands before lunging forward at the other men, armed in a similar manor. The forest around him was once again deadly silent except for the soft grunts and high pitched ting of metal smashing into metal. _

_Spinning around Neji suddenly found himself letting out a howl of pain as a hand snatched the long locks of his hair. Most people knew better than to be so vain, especially when one was a ninja. Long hair was a weapon that could be used against one, however Neji had never faced against someone who was low enough to actually touch his pride and joy much less use it to yank his head back far enough to almost snap his neck. The ninja squirmed, lashing out with fury at the man behind him. His kunai met soft skin and warm blood splattered onto his torso. _

_The dark haired boy didn't have time to wince as he jumped backwards, almost backing into another man who made a grab for the Konoha ninja. Neji's arm shot out and his slick kunai embedded itself into the man's neck and he made a sickening gurgle as his fingers scrabbled against Neji's hand in desperation before Neji pulled his hand and the kunai away. The wound suddenly exploded with bright red blood into the Hyuuga's face and he reeled back as the body fell to the ground with a sickening thud. _

_He could feel the bile growing in the back of his throat even as he turned away, scrubbing his face furiously with the back of his hand. Milky white eyes flickered open just in time to see a hand being shoved none too kindly into his face. The boy's eyes widened even more as he suddenly felt a burning sensation all along his face. It burned so badly, oh god…_

_Neji screamed, his hands shooting out to grab the man's wrist in an attempt to rip it away from his face. His nails dug into the unprotected skin between the man's gloves and his sleeve as he attempted to lash out, his fingers aimed for a pressure point. Everything seemed to blur and his body lurched sickeningly even as his fingers slammed hard into pressure point after pressure point on the man's body. _

_Shoving himself away, Neji stumbled back as his legs gave out causing him to fall to the ground painting. It seemed so dark and he could hear his heart thudding hard in his chest. His hands shot to his face, scrubbing at his eyes frantically. They burnt, so bad! Letting out a small frustrated groan of pain, the boy knelt over pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes. A choked scream escaped his mouth as he rocked forward still scrabbling at his face. He would have rather have lost a leg for this, a lost limb seemed like it would have paled in comparison to the burning in his face right now and the pain that seemed to be seeping down to his chest. Neji panted suddenly feeling light headed as he pressed his forehead against the blood slick grass. The last thing he thought before passing out was that he wouldn't be able to touch Hinata's stomach after all…_

_End Flashback_

* * *

A strangled gasp escaped Neji's throat as he shot straight up in bed, his body protesting in anguish at his movement. There was a soft humming noise and the stead beep that should have been familiar but only made his body quiver uncomfortably. Where was he? Why was it so dark? Had he been taken captive? A soft curse escaped his shaking lips as his hands flew to his face. Shaking fingers traced over his face to touch the bandages over his eyes. Hastily his fingers curled and started to claw at the bandages, causing them to dig painfully into his scalp as he pulled carelessly at them. White stripes fluttered into his lap and his fingers stilled as they pressed lightly against his opened eyes. Yet the room was still dark as night. His shoulders shook as his fingers desperately patted across his face as if his eyes would suddenly open up normally and see. Neji's lower lip trembled and his mouth fell open in a scream of frustration and terror.

* * *

At the sound of her cousin's terrified screaming the teacup slipped from between Hinata's shaking fingers and hit the floor, shattering into a million pieces that crunched under her feet as she sprang across the room and threw herself across Neji's body.

Hinata had been surprised to see Neji suddenly sit up with a whimper, his hands automatically coming to his bandaged head. She had started to reach out to touch his shoulder comfortingly until he suddenly began to shake and his fingers started clawing away the bandages. Startled she had jerked back, watching him with wide eyes, the saucer shaking in her hand with a slight clanking noise.

The hospital had been her home for several days now since the time they had brought Neji back on the brink of death. Nothing had ever frightened her as badly as the sight of her husband's pale face and his unsteady gasps that made his chest wheeze with every attempt of breath. Even the time Neji had nearly taken her life with his own hands hadn't left her nearly as shaken.

"Neji, please stop this!" Her voice sounded gravely from lack of use as she attempted to grab his wrists. It did little good as his screamed drowned out her soft voice and his hands easily broke her grasp to fly back to his face, nails digging viciously into his skin.

"Stop it! Don't touch me!" His voice was panicked as he shoved her back and flailed uncertainly at the air between them unable to properly locate his cousin's body.

"Please you must stop! You'll hurt yourself! Neji!" Hinata grabbed his hands again, forcing them down into his lap with all the strength she possessed, yet it was hardly enough against her cousin. "Neji please, it's me Hinata! Please stop!"

"I said get the hell away from me!" It was a lucky punch, probably due more to Hinata being close enough to receive it than Neji knowing her location that sent Hinata sprawling back onto the ground with a cry of pain. Her eyes shot to her husband's form on the bed as she struggled to right herself but with her bulging pregnant belly, the task was anything but easy.

She had barely gotten herself upright when the door slammed back against the wall hard enough to cause the room to shake and Tsunade stormed through the doorway, her eyes flaming looking like she had woken from a rather long nap which was probably the truth knowing the Hokage some times.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Tsunade snapped, pausing for a moment to survey the broken teacup on the ground then Neji who was now sitting still in the bed, his face hidden in his face and sniveling quietly to himself and finally Hinata, whose face had turned a brilliant shade of red from her sprawled position on the ground. For a moment the Hokage seemed completely perplexed before she gestured to enter Sakura who was hovering nervously beside her until that point probably even less sure of what to think that her mistress at the disarray of the room and its occupants.

"What the hell is your problem Hyuuga?" The blonde woman barked as Sakura darted to Hinata's side to help the poor woman to her feet. "Do you always go around punching your wife in the face?"

For a moment Neji was dead silent, his shoulders stiff with uncertainty before he finally dropped his hands to his lap and raised his bleeding scratched face to stare somewhere to the Hokage's left uncertainly not even aware he wasn't looking directly at the woman. Tsunade hesitated as she watched him stare off to the side with milky unseeing eyes and her body seemed to slump with regret for snapping at the younger man.

"I-it wasn't his fault-" Hinata protested in a soft voice as Sakura forced her to sit down in a chair beside the hospital bed. "I got too close that's all…"

"Where am I?" Neji whispered in a cold voice, his forehead wrinkling as he swiveled his head once again to a different point, still unable to focus on Tsunade's exact location.

"You're in Konoha, in the hospital," Tsunade strolled forward, trying to ignore the way her stomach tightened uncomfortably at the sight of Neji tilting his head and his eyes tracking from side to side, desperately trying to find her location as she moved closer to the Hyuuga. "I'm on your left, here." She announced to his softly as her fingertips ghosted over his shoulder and his head jerked in the general direction uncertainly.

"What happened?" Neji's voice cracked as he tried to sound braver than he felt at the moment. He wished he could see the Hokage's face for reassurance but at the same time he was glad, lest he saw something akin to pity there for his current state.

"What happened?" Tsunade echoed with a bitter laugh. "You tell me Hyuuga, I'll be damn if I know how you got yourself so messed up. You're a lucky sonova bitch Hyuuga, almost as lucky as Uzumaki you know? ANBU found you less than a quarter of a mile from the boarder, said he heard a fight and went to investigate, said he found you laying in a pile of your own puke with a bunch of dead bodies around. Lucky thing, you would have drowned there like that. Hell of a way to go if you ask me Hyuuga, in your own puke. "

Neji swallowed silently, licking his dry lips as he attempted to remember what exactly had happened to him as he took in the Hokage's words and ignore the way his body jumped every time she touched him.

"Was it there…?" He asked after a moment. Tsunade paused, staring at the man before him. Trust a ninja like Neji to be more concerned about the mission than his own health. He was a good ninja, Tsunade thought with a bitter smile.

"Yes, it was." She replied with a clipped tone as she took a step back, ignoring how Sakura and Hinata were watching her while pretending not to at the same time. "You've given your wife a nice black eye so I hope you're proud of yourself Hyuuga."

Neji winced, his shoulders slumping as he tried to glance away in search of his cousin yet he wasn't sure where she had gone since he had shoved her away. He licked his lips but said nothing, unable to force the words of apology from his lips. Not that Hinata had been expecting it from him but Tsunade gave him a disapproving look at his silence that went unseen by the man.

"What….about my eyes," The Hyuuga spoke finally, clenching his hands in the blanket covering his lower body. He was afraid to ask, afraid of the answer she would give him.

"It isn't permanent so don't get your panties in a twist Hyuuga." Tsunade crossed her arms across her chest. "You had a run in with some nasty poison and like I said, you're a pretty lucky son of a bitch to even be alive. I've removed most of it from your system but your body still needs time to rest and allow the rest to flush its way out until you're completely better. Your nerves are capable of repair but I can't say how long that will take for your eyesight to come back completely. I would give it a month at most."

A soft breath of air escaped Neji's chest that he couldn't remember holding. So he was only temporarily blind…it wasn't preferable but it was better than the alternate by leaps and bounds. He didn't know what he would have done if Tsunade had told him the change in his eyesight was forever, probably slit his own throat without a second thought. A blind man could not be a ninja. He would be nothing without his eyes, not even worthy of breathing the same air as others.

"Thank you," He murmured after a moment, not raising his bowed head. She was right, he was very lucky to even be alive and no matter how bitter he felt about the situation she deserved his thanks.

"See to it that you rest yourself, I know you Hyuuga. If I catch you out on the training field, I'll kick your ass so bad you'll wish you'd never been born, got it?" Tsunade replied, ignoring his humbled thanks. "Don't let him do anything stupid Hinata, and that's an order."

Hinata mumbled something in a shy voice that Neji didn't catch as he sat there staring unseeingly at the blankets as his mouth twitched in a furious frown, his previous nice thoughts thrown out the window in moments. Damn that woman. How did she expect him to sit still for a month?

"You can go home day after tomorrow if you're looking up to it, so I'd advise you get some sleep Hyuuga because from right here you look like shit." Tsunade barked out a laugh as she turned from the bed and waved Sakura to come along.

"Ah…but Hinata…Maybe you need a breath of fresh air?" The pink haired woman shot Hinata a look of concern but Hinata only smiled shyly, unworried.

"It's fine Sakura, really. My husband needs me here…" She could hardly blame Neji for reacting the way he had to her, she should have known better really than to throw herself at a blind man when he was so disoriented.

"Ok…" Sakura glanced back and forth between the two with a look. "I'll send a nurse to clean up the glass so don't worry about cleaning it up yourself. You should be resting as well in your condition. Your wife is in no condition for you to be throwing punches at her so I would advise that it is in your best interest not to do that again Hyuuga."

"I'll see that I keep that in mind," Neji replied in a bitter tone. As if he had meant to punch Hinata in the face. Bitch.

There was a moment of silence as the two women left the room, letting the door close softly behind them. Neji listened to the noise of what he assumed was his cousin shifting uncomfortably somewhere in the room. Silently he took a few heavy breaths as he tried to force himself to find the right words to say that would ease the tension that was quickly growing between them.

"Are you…alright?" He asked gruffly after a moment, the words sounding lame even to his own ears and he wanted to kick himself for sounding so foolish.

"It's fine, it was only a small bruise," Even though Neji couldn't see her face he had the distinct feeling she was smiling at him with that sad meek smile of hers and the thought made him bite his lip to keep from telling her to stop it.

"I didn't mean-" Neji started almost angrily. It frustrated him that she was being so calm and kind about the whole thing. Every time he hurt her she just smiled like an idiot and said it was ok. It wasn't ok. It would never be ok!

"Please don't worry about it, I shouldn't have startled you like that…I just…that is…you were bleeding and I….I was afraid you would hurt yourself…"

There was a soft touch on his write and Neji's skin quivered and jumped in surprise at how close she had come to him without him hearing her move. Warm fingers ghosted over his palm in a silent warning before cool glass was pressed into his hand. Neji licked his cracked lips nervously as her fingers brushed over his skin once again before grasping his hand and guided the cup to his lips. Eagerly his lips parted to accept the cool liquid from the cup, the water dribbling down the sides of his mouth in his eagerness. It seemed like forever since he had had anything to drink and it felt like heaven on his burning throat and he almost whined when the cup became empty.

"How long have I been out?" He asked after a moment, rubbing the wetness from his face with an uncertain hand after almost smacking himself in the nose. Everything that had once seemed so easy before seemed almost impossible for him to execute. Hinata didn't say anything though which made him almost feel relieved.

"Almost five days…" She murmured softly, her voice still close to his side. Neji fell silent at that. Five days since he had jeopardized the mission and nearly failed for not watching his back close enough. It was almost ironic, he thought bitterly, for his failure to watch his back he was now blind and unable to see even the smallest attack. Even though he probably could have focused enough to hear an enemy attack he was after all heavily dependant on his Byakyuugan and after all without his eyesight….his skills were surely only mediocre at best.

* * *

Lee pressed his body against the heavy wooden door and peered around the side into the room, a bouquet of slightly wilted flowers clenched in his bandaged hands. He had spent the better part of the morning with Ino attempting to pick them out. Although he had protested against her accusations of the flowers being for Sakura it hadn't been until he had broken down and admitted they were for his worth rival Neji that Ino's mouth had fallen open and she had fallen silent. The poor Taijutsu master had spent another good fifteen minutes protesting that it wasn't whatever it was that she thought and desperately trying to ignore the smug all knowing look Ino was giving him. He loved the fair Sakura so there was no reason to look at him like that and she knew it. It made the poor man so uncomfortable that he had snatched up the first thing she had offered after that, just desperate to escape her.

Neji's head jerked towards the door as Lee entered and the green clad man watched as his milky eyes darted right past him, leaving his chest aching as he watched his rival stare blankly at a point somewhere beyond his left shoulder. Quickly he tried to smother the uncomfortable feeling he felt at seeing the Hyuuga boy so disoriented.

"So you have finally awoken my esteemed rival! Welcome back to the land of the living!" Lee's cheerful voice rang out over the room and he almost winced at himself at how loudly it sounded in the small room. Neji however did wince and Lee had to chuckle at that.

"Lee," Hinata murmured acknowledging the other ninja with a soft voice. The Green Beast's mouth curved upward into what felt like a mostly awkward smile when his eyes met Hinata's who smiled back shyly, an empty cup in her hand.

"Hello Hinata! You're looking well today! How is the little one? The fair Sakura tells me it's a feisty one! The baby will be a great fighter like its father, don't you think Hinata? And of course pretty like its mother!"

"Of course," Hinata murmured ducking her head to hide her embarrassment. "If I may be excused, I haven't eaten lunch today…"

"Then by all means please! You're eating for two after all!" Lee laughed enthusiastically and Neji's head jerked blindly towards the sound, causing Lee to bite down on his lower lip. The action didn't go unnoticed by Hinata who gave him a look of understanding that made Lee squirm uncomfortably at how perceptive she could be sometimes.

"I won't be long…" She spoke softly, her concerned eyes not leaving his face. Lee tried to puff up his chest and look braver than he felt at the moment in reply. Neji hadn't said a word since he had entered the room and truthfully it made him uncomfortable even though he tried to hide it. Taking a breath he presented her with a goofy smile.

"Oh please take your time Hinata! I'll stay here with this grouchy husband of yours for as long as you need! Take as long as you need, I can't imagine that Neji is an easy patient to stay with, especially in your condition you'll need to take a breath away from his negativity!"

"You know I'm right here," Neji snapped irritably, his head jerking to the side as he tried to locate the two.

"Don't worry about a thing, if I need anything I'm sure I can flag down a nurse no problem!" Lee laughed, his eyes skittering to Neji's obviously fuming form in the bed before winking playfully at Hinata who only ducked her head in embarrassment once again, nodding in consent.

There was a moment of silence as the two men adjusted to the room, now alone together for the first time in four months. Slowly Lee shuffled forward to place his flowers on the counter before standing there a bit stiffly no sure what to do next. He swallowed, trying to ignore how dry his mouth felt, like he had been chewing on cotton. His chest hurt something horrible as he watched the other man sit upright, his eyes staring blindly at the corner some feet from where Lee was shifting from one foot to the other uncomfortably.

"So it's true then," He blurted without thinking breaking the silence between them, his bandaged hand shooting up to cover his mouth only seconds after the offending words had slipped out of his mouth. Neji's body stiffened and his chin tilted over just slightly, unsure of where he was attempting to focus his attention.

"Get out," Neji's voice shook slightly as his fingers curled tightly into the blanket that covered his lower half so tightly that his knuckles were starting to turn white.

"You know I can't," Lee licked his lips uncertainly as he watched his rival sit there stiffly. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to say anything about…"

"Well you did," Neji was practically hissing at the other now, his eyes staring right above Lee's head now. "And I don't want to hear your voice, so get out."

"I thought maybe you would be glad to hear me, even if you couldn't see me," Lee chuckled dryly, wrapping his green clad arms around himself uncomfortably.

"Well you thought wrong!"

"It's been four months Neji-"

"Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot! I might not be able to see right now but I know damn well how long it's been since I've seen your face!"

"Hinata missed you," Lee murmured softly, his bandaged hands rubbing his shoulder nervously as he watched Neji's face for signs of annoyance. "We all missed you you know. I was worried when I heard you…were here."

Neji's angry words fell silent, stuck in his throat at his rival's words. Hinata…had missed him…For a moment his hands continued to clench at the blanket before falling limp into his lap and his shoulders sag.

"How was she…?"

"Who? Hinata?" Lee chuckled softly, noticing the softening of his rivals face when he mentioned the woman that only a short time ago would have made him roll his eyes in frustration. "As well as a woman who's six months pregnant can be I suppose."

"She looks well?"

"Well of course…" Lee trailed off for a moment, watching Neji's head turn slightly to follow his voice as the green clad shinobi made his way to the chair beside the Hyuuga's bed to take a seat.

"I see…" Neji's voice was quiet and Lee narrowed his eyes. Of course…his rival must be so frustrated that he couldn't see the love of his life after being away for so long! That was what had the other so down for sure!

"She looks nice," Lee offered with a cheerful smile, reaching over to clasp Neji's arm, causing the dark haired boy to flinch at the sudden touch. "She's much plumper than usual, but her skin shines that special shine of a woman carrying a precious life inside of her. Her stomach is very round now! Sakura says the baby is very active, that's good by the way you know?"

Neji nodded absentmindedly as he listened to the green clad man's words, his brow wrinkled in concentration as he tried to picture Hinata the way he described her, and yet…he couldn't see his cousin….his wife…with the bulging stomach that carried his seed.

"Maybe when Hinata returns you could ask her to let you feel the baby kick!" Lee suggested suddenly, his fingers squeezing the other's arm lightly in his own eagerness.

"It's a personal thing, I can't ask her that," Neji replied gruffly, tilting his head back in defiance.

"But why not?" Lee stared at him with a bewildered look that the other couldn't see. "I felt it yesterday and you should feel it today! It's going to be your child as well after all!"

There was a silence and for a moment Lee wondered if he had said something wrong. He felt the sneaky suspicion the other was a little jealous over what he had said, about having felt the baby kick the day before. But it hadn't been meant in a vicious way, he was just saying. Lee had always wanted to be a father and so to see his rival's wife with child made him burst with joy inside. Even if it wasn't his child he felt extreme pride for his rival's accomplishment.

"It really isn't a big thing! I will ask her for you!"

"That is unnecessary-"

"Oh think nothing of it my rival! I promise that it is no hardship for me!"

"Lee-"

"I promise! You can't see me but I am giving you my nice guy pose as we speak my worthy rival!" Lee sprang from sitting on the chair to standing practically on top of it, in a characteristic nice guy pose. He posed there for several seconds before the feelings of stupidity started to creep in on him. Neji couldn't even see his pose and thus it really was wasteful when his rival couldn't even see how determined he was. He slipped down from the chair and finally sat down, although his leg twitched slightly now and again with energy waiting to be used.

"If you say anything to her about something so stupid and foolish I will kill you," Neji muttered under his breath, obviously not as thrilled as Lee when it came to the subject of his pregnant wife.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about," Lee replied, grabbing the chair and dragging it noisily closer to the bed. "I believe it's perfectly natural for you to be curious about the baby. It's your baby after all. Who wouldn't want to know about these things and be in touch with what's going on?"

"What the hell are you doing?" Neji hissed, his eyes narrowing even though he couldn't see anything that was going on at the moment. He almost managed to stare directly at Lee this time but it didn't seem to make the Taijutsu master feel any better.

"Just pulling the chair closer," The green clad ninja let out a small laugh. "Why what else would I be doing! Don't be so paranoid!"

"Well how would you feel?" Neji was still sounding less than thrilled and Lee had the feeling that his rival still wanted him out of the room and far away from himself. In truth that kind of hurt the other man. He hadn't seen Neji since before his mission and just briefly even then. The dark haired man had stopped by the training field before he left that morning. They had spoken only briefly but it had been long enough for Neji to break the news of Hinata's pregnancy and his mission assigned by Tsunade. Lee had of course expressed his concern that he would be gone for such a long period of time and Neji had replied with his own veiled version of concern. In the end Lee had offered to watch over his wife while he was gone. Hinata and he were not great friends for sure, but they were not enemies by any stretch of the imagination.

"Depressed for sure," Lee replied with a bit of sorrow in his voice as he watched the other.

"I don't want your pity, so stop sounding like someone just kicked your cat," Neji muttered as he turned away in an attempt to hide his face from the other although he wasn't sure if he was even succeeding or not.

"You know that's not how I feel," The green beast tried to smile again and faltered a bit. For the first time since he had arrived in the other's room he was relieved that his rival couldn't see his face. His eyes flickered about as he attempted to look somewhere else beside the man laying there in the bed. "Ah…I brought you some flowers…They're carnations…I know you can't see them but they look nice."

"I'm not your girlfriend or something you know," The Hyuuga's voice sounded more than a little annoyed and Lee had the distinct notion that if Neji could have see the location of the flowers he would have thrown them right out the window.

"No but you're surely my best friend and Ino said they would make you feel better sooner! Flowers are youthful after all and it always makes me feel better when I end up in the hospital!"

"Well I'm not you either," Was the only gruff reply Lee received.

"They're very lovely," The green beast continued as if the other hadn't said a word against the flowers. "I'm sure you would appreciate them if you could see them after all."

"Yes, of course," Neji replied, his voice bitter. "If I could see them, however since you've seen to forgotten I can't see them!"

"I didn't forget-"Lee started to protest as he reached out to grasp his rival's arm once again causing the boy to jump.

"Stop touching me!" The Hyuuga snarled as he jerked in surprise causing Lee to jump as well, startled by the dark haired boy's outburst.

"I didn't mean-"

"Just. Stop," Neji snarled as he struggled to sit up and the green clad ninja automatically reached out to help him, but the Hyuuga started to smack wildly at him, missing more often than actually hitting the other. Lee winced, it didn't hurt but he hated to see the other in such turmoil. "Get out! I don't want to hear your voice anymore! I don't want to hear you say such stupid things! Take your foolish flowers with you! I don't want them!"  
Lee let out a squeaked noise as the Hyuuga struggled to shove the youthful ninja away from him. Neji grasped the front of his jumper and shoved the other backwards viciously. Lee let out a choked gasp as the dark haired man tipped forward, unable to stay up right in the bed now that Lee wasn't there to brace him upward. He spilt downward, tumbling head first from his bed. Quickly Lee's arms darted forward, wrapping around the other to hold him up, his body struggling against the extra weight.

"Neji please!" The other nin let out a heavy puff of air as he pushed the other back into the hospital bed. "You aren't well! You shouldn't…."

Neji let out a choked noise as he stiffened, allowing the other to shove him back into place. His head was aching and it felt like he was spinning around in a circle. For a moment his throat muscles made him gag and he thought he was going to puke as he lay back against the bed.

"Please just calm down…" Lee stared at the other's pale face with worried eyes. Perhaps it was true that he shouldn't have come at all. The other seemed furious with him although Lee was certain he didn't know the reason why. "I'll let you be now, if you promise to stay in bed."

"Not like I have much of a choice…" Neji snarled, his face turned away from the green clad man now but Lee could see the frustration welling up across his tense body.

"I'll wait outside…" The green beast continued, wrapping his bandaged arms around himself uncomfortably. "If you need anything you can just call me…I'll send Hinata in when she returns."

He didn't receive an answer from the man lying on the bed and so Lee slipped quietly out of the room, letting the door click shut behind him. A heavy breath escaped him that he didn't know he had been holding as he pressed his back against the door and let his eyes fall shut. Neji was being especially bitter, not that he could blame him under the circumstances but he wasn't making it easy on himself by acting so hateful. The Hyuuga was making it especially hard on the others around him.

Even though Neji always said things he didn't mean, hurtful and spiteful things in a fit of frustration, he never really meant them. He didn't ooze sweetness or love like Lee, Neji didn't know how to do those things, nor did he know how to properly convey himself through words. Lee knew first hand how hard that could be, he had suffered many years with his rival, believing the dark haired man hated him but it hadn't been until that one day Neji had confessed he didn't really mind the other challenging him that Lee had realized the other never really meant exactly what he said. Neji was really was a ninja that required much looking under the underneath.

* * *

Neji laid there in the bed unmoving for what seemed like forever since Lee had left, leaving him alone. The Hyuuga boy felt cold inside and his stomach lurched, still very unhappy with him for his little stunt earlier that had almost left him sprawled on the floor. He hadn't realized how hard it was to be like this, true he couldn't see and that in its self seemed to be pretty bad. However now his whole body was thrown off by it, he had a hard time balancing himself and it annoyed him to no end that his body didn't cooperate.

He could feel the moisture gathering at the corners of his eyes and he quickly reached up to press the heels of his hands against his eyes forcing them shut. Everything was just dark…dark and lonely...Neji's fingers curled tighter into the blanket, pulling it up until it touched his chin. He wanted to curl up into a little ball but his body hurt all over and had started to throb ever since his incident with Lee. Damn Lee. He should have never come here. It hurt that his rival had seen him like this, it hurt that Lee's voice was full of sickening pity, something he never wanted ever. The green beast had even brought him flowers, or so he said. The thought made Neji's stomach do another unhappy summersault. He didn't want his fucking pity!

"Neji…Are you ok? Lee said…" Hinata's soft voice made him jerk in surprise and embarrassment. He had been so caught up in his own moment of angst that he hadn't heard the woman enter.

"Don't listen to what Lee said," Neji muttered furiously. "He's a moron."

"You seem upset," She continued, avoiding his words towards his teammate as Neji knew she would do. Hinata had never been one to bad mouth anyone else and she probably thought pretty highly of the green clad ninja, most people did if they could get past his strange looks. Lee truly was a good guy, but Neji felt more than a little bitter towards the other at the moment.

"I'm fine." His words were clipped, hoping that she would get the hint and let him sit there and mope in peace over his predicament. Even if Tsunade said this blindness wasn't forever, he didn't have to be happy about it right now. In fact he felt like that gave him a right to be cranky until his eyesight really did return, even if he knew no one else would put up with that.

Neji felt the cold feeling of a glass being pressed into his hand and Hinata's warm fingers closing around his, guiding him to his mouth. For a moment he pressed his lips together not wanting to drink it, she hadn't even asked if he was thirsty, even though he was. After a moment though his own needs overcame his stubborn stand against his wife and he allowed the water to pass his lips.

Silence fell over the two as Neji laid there on his back. He assumed his eyes were trained on the ceiling but who could say.

"Lee says you're doing well…" The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them and he quickly pressed his lips together in a tight line.

Hinata paused, her eyes widening as she stared at her cousin laying there on the bed, pale faced and tight lipped. She hadn't expected him to say anything like that. In fact she really hadn't expected him to ask anything about the time while he had been gone and least of all about herself.

"I…I'm fine…Lee has been taking care of me….while you were gone," Her mouth curved upward into a small shy smile even though Neji couldn't see it. "He has been very helpful, taking me out and getting me things when I can't go out. Your teammate is very kind."

Neji blanched a bit, his fists clenching. Even if Lee had offered to take care of her and Neji had accepted, it didn't mean he had to be happy about how well his teammate had taken care of his wife in his absence. Hinata was his wife, not Lees. It was his baby…His hear clenched in frustration.

"Then you haven't….been doing those things…" Neji struggled with himself. He didn't want to ask, he didn't want to know frankly about those marks on her arms, about the things she did behind closed doors and yet he couldn't stay away from it. It ate at him late at night, when he had laid alone in his bed miles away on his mission. What was she doing? Was she crying? Was she holding a kunai right now? Was she cutting down on the pale white skin of her wrists? It scared him…It scared him to think about it and made him worry, would she be so selfish as to take the life inside of her by taking her own?

"I'm afraid I don't know what things you mean," Hinata tilted her head to the side as she watched her husband's face. He seemed uncomfortable and she had a notion about the things he was asking about but her heart quivered uncomfortably when she thought about talking about them with her husband. Her arms were not clean and she knew deep down it would only upset him to know the truth.

"He says that the baby kicks now," Neji swallowed and let out a heavy breath, his courage leaving him, forcing him to change the subject rather than bruise his pride by stumbling around the subject of her unhealthy actions any longer. It had been brief for sure but he had the feeling he couldn't have stood talking about it longer even if she had known what he was attempting to get at. It just unnerved him too much.

"Yes," Hinata's voice was small, uncertain. "It kicks strongly, I'm certain it will be a strong boy like his father."

They were the words every man wanted to hear from their expectant wife in a clan like the Hyuuga clan. No one truly wanted a daughter, if they were honest with themselves. It had been Hiashi's worst nightmare when Hotaru had given birth to two daughters and the fact that she had become useless after the birth of Hanabi only added salt to the injury of having no sons.

The urge to have sons was so great that knowing the sex of the child before it was born was against the law within the clans. It didn't stop death after the birth of the child however, even if such things were thought to be barbaric now days and not as widely practiced. People still tended to look the other way however when tragedy struck. Even if Neji wished for a boy with all his heart he could never imagine killing his child for something it couldn't control. He knew Hiashi, despite all his short comings and harsh treatment of his daughters must have felt the same in his heart.

Neji's body quivered when he felt a warm small hand grasp his, pulling it upward and placing it onto warm firm flesh.

"What….?" His throat felt tight and he couldn't speak.

"Can you feel him?" Hinata's voice was still quiet and uncertain as if she couldn't decide if her action was appropriate and acceptable or not. He could feel her shaking under him slightly or was that him? Neji's fingers quivered as he pressed his bare palm closer to the warmth of her round belly. Under this warm tender skin was a child…not just any child but his.

Her hand pressed down lightly over his and he stiffened a choked noise. His wife was carrying the most precious thing in his life now and even though he couldn't look upon her or her round belly, he could feel the tiny life there and it made him feel something he hadn't felt in his cold heart for years. It felt as if he was basking in the sunlight. Warmth flooded his chest and for a moment he felt like he was going to die with joy.

"Hinata…" He choked softly, his eyes prickling with the feeling of tears. His body shook as he tried to hold back his emotions. "I can feel him…"

"He's your son…"

Neji sobbed.

* * *

Authors Notes: Yay this didn't take me like a million years to write like usual! I'm determined to finish this fanfic even if it is taking a long time! I think this chapter is a little heavy on the Neji/Lee interaction and not so heavy on the Neji/Hinata action but don't worry! I've started outlining for the next chapter and there will be muuuuuch more Hyuugacest love! Stay with me here! Thank you to all of you who continue to review, it makes me work much faster even if you don't think it does! I'm trying to aim for 10 reviews for each chapter soooo….the more you review the happier I am and the faster I go –innocent grin!- 


	7. Chapter 6

Lost Moments

Lost Moments

By: Lynn Metallium

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I'm nothing but a poor little American girl who had to spend all of her money on college and therefore even if you sued me you wouldn't get any money anyway. So please don't get mad and hurt me Xx;;

Author Notes: You know where.

Reading Notes: Half of this chapter is in a flash back, it is labeled, just make sure you catch that because it doesnt make much sense to read it as a straight time line.

**Chapter 6 **

_No matter how much sadness I must bear,_

_There will come a day when it will all be worth it._

Future - Gackt

* * *

"You cannot allow these things to happen."

Tsunade glanced up from her desk at the girl standing in front of her staring at the floor, her reddened face mostly hidden by strands of dark hair. When the Hyuuga girl had asked for an audience with her she had almost refused, knowing full well what the girl wanted.

"I am the Hokage, I cannot spend my time with the petty problems of my citizens." Her voice was harsh, even though her stare was soft. She was the Hokage, if she spent her days making people happy and fixing personal problems then Konoha would fall to pieces. Tsunade was a sympathetic woman, but she couldn't let her emotions get in the way of what was best for her country, it was the way a leader had to be.

"You know these things are mistakes," Hinata's voice shook but she didn't back down as Tsunade thought the shy girl would. The busty blonde bit her bottom lip as she watched her.

"It is true I've had my share of second thoughts on this but in the end what would you have me do Hinata? Would you have me go back and break my word?"

"No…"

"Then what? What is it that you want from me? Why have you come here when you know there is nothing to be done?" Tsunade tilted her head to the side as she watched the heavily pregnant girl.

"Train me." Her words were so soft Tsunade almost missed them. For a moment the blonde regarded her with shock, could she be serious?

"I won't."

"You must." Hinata lifted her head finally staring at her with wide eyes that made Tsunade wince with the emotion she saw there.

"You're pregnant. It is impossible."

"You are the best medic nin in the world. I am not afraid."

"Then you mean to fight?"

"I have no choice. You know the situation we are in now. I am the Hyuuga pawn, it is my fate," The smile on the girls face made Tsunade's chest tighten uncomfortably. Vaguely she acknowledged the Hyuuga heir had to stop hanging around her husband so much. Silently Tsunade stared at the girl…it was true that there was very true that there were few choices left to them now. Things were slowly falling between her fingers like droplets of water when it came to the clan and she could not hold them no matter how tightly she held her fingers.

"If I do this,"

"I promise you my clan."

"Then we start tomorrow."

**Flashback**

Swallowing hard, Hinata shifted slightly in her spot on the mat beside Neji, who appeared to be currently ignoring her with his head tilted slightly to the side listening to the words being spoken between the counsel members. Her heavy pregnant belly was bearing down on her and her swollen ankles made sitting in this position excruciating for long periods of time. Ever since her husband's 'accident' he had been forced into a position where constant care was needed on his behalf, much to the long haired man's frustration. It had taken several falls on his face and blows to his pride when he missed his mouth with the chopsticks before he relented in letting Hinata help him at least a little until the blindness left him.

For two weeks now she had been attending the counsel meetings along side her husband, a duty she should have been upholding long before now if she let herself think about it for any length of time. She was still very much clan leader as her husband by merely being married to him, in many ways she had more advantages than him when it came to these things by being a member of the Main House. It had never occurred to her until she finally entered the meetings at the side of her husband how far things had fallen since the death of her father. It was startling…

_Flashback within the flashback _

"_Please step up Neji," Hinata murmured softly to the long haired man holding tightly to her hand so tightly his knuckles were turning white with the effort. _

_Neji stumbled slightly, stepping up into the counsel room with one socked foot shakily and Hinata's fingers tightened around her cousin's hand. She wouldn't let him fall but he was horribly stubborn about asking her for help. Even though she had just told him to step up it was if he hadn't listened to her at all. Really, which was more damaging to his pride, listening to a woman or falling on that so called pretty face of his? _

"_Come…the dais is not far…" She told him in her usual quiet voice. Somehow being responsible for her cousin this way made her stuttering calm down and she was able to speak without worry. Perhaps it was the responsibility and dependency of the other on her that made her feel a little more self-assured. She really did like to help others in any way she could. _

_As she placed a slim pale hand on her cousin's back she felt his muscles stiffen and the rumble of his voice vibrating her hand but he was mumbling so badly she couldn't make out his words. _

"_Please repeat that…" She whispered embarrassed to have to ask when she should have been paying attention in the first place. She was supposed to be helping him not ignoring him especially if he had something to say. _

"…_My place is to the left…" His voice sounded so strained when he spoke up that she almost missed his words a second time. Could he really be serious?..._

_Lifting her head, Hinata was shocked to see the face of the Elder counsel member seated in her father's seat. Of course he had such a seat when she had found herself punished for a crime she had not committed but she had assumed under the circumstances that he was merely taking the place that Neji would have taken if he had been present. The Elder was allowed to take certain matter under his wing and act as the clan leader under different cases but it had never come to her that he would be taking such a prominent place on a more permanent basis. That was mutiny against the leader of the Hyuuga clan! Why had Neji never informed her of this?! He still stood and spoke for them, he still went to Tsunade and attended her meetings as the voice of the Hyuuga clan and yet he was not the one sitting in the seat of power! Not only was he not in the seat of power, he was cast aside, not to the second prominent seat of the right, the seat the Elder himself should have been seated in but to the left. _

_It was with even more shock and a heavy heart that she let her eyes meet those of her younger sister, seated to the right of the dais. Her eyes spoke with smoldering contempt for her sister and Hinata couldn't help but shiver involuntarily as she guided Neji by the hand to the worn pillow on the left of the dais. There was no extra place for her and so she knelt, with great difficulty beside him on the tatami mats. Her body screamed its discomfort at her position but she did not complain, her mind was too full of other things to properly think of pain at a moment like this. _

_Raising her head she peered at her husband and cousin, who hung his head staring blankly without actually seeing at the floor. Was he ashamed that she knew that he was not truly in control? Or did he just not care? Did he hate the clan so much that he didn't care what happened to the rest of them at the hands of an unfit leader? She wanted to ask but how could she say such things to him?_

'_Neji I was wondering, why are you sitting apart like a cat kicked from its spot in front of the fire? Why are you sitting in the cold licking your wounds instead of fighting back? Are you so weak?'_

_No! She could never say such a thing to him! The dark haired girl knew the sting of failure all too well and she could never be so hypocritical as to say something so hateful especially to her cousin. Neji was strong she knew this without a shadow of a doubt. He was one of the strongest of his age! Could they really think him as worthless and weak as her? Would they really disregard Hiashi's choice for leadership when they had agreed to the marriage and his position in the counsel even before her father's death? Or perhaps they had planned this…without Hiashi's knowledge…? They wanted to create a pawn out of her cousin…?_

_Hinata's mind raced furiously, swirling with thoughts. It couldn't be true…Neji would never let himself be used in this way! This must be a bad mistake, perhaps she just didn't understand…Hiashi always accused her of being the less bright one. _

"_N-Neji…" The woman's voice almost failed her as she whispered his name, desperate for his attention. Neji was silent and for a moment Hinata wondered if he was ignoring her. _

"_What is it," When he finally managed to reply his voice sounded strained and forced and she almost winced. _

"_Why…"_

"_If you're going to ask about that, then do us both a favor and keep your mouth shut…"_

_Hinata fell silent, biting on her bottom lip to keep from blurting out all of the nervous questions plaguing her. She knew he couldn't see her but she had the feeling he could sense her emotional turmoil without even seeing the expression on her face. He didn't say anything however and so the two of them fell into an uncomfortable silence as the buzz of the other counsel members surrounded them. _

_End Flashback within the flashback_

They had not spoken of the question that had been on her mind that day and every day since she had attended the sessions. She watched as the counsel discussed matters over and over without any input from Neji. Most of the matters were at the very least trivial things that wouldn't have interested a true clan leader at all but that wasn't true for all of them and it made her wince when every time an important issue came up and Neji said nothing, offered no ideas to the group and let the decision rest in the hand of the Elder.

She couldn't help but feel every time the Elder's eyes landed on her and Neji that he was privately gloating over her and her husband's demoted state. With Neji now physically handicapped and her unwilling to fight for what was rightfully theirs, he was no doubt feeling pretty secure in his position if her thoughts were correct that he thought of Neji as well as herself as nothing more than a pawn. Yet there was nothing she could do, she told herself. She wasn't nearly strong enough to take matters into her own hands and fight back…Neji was the strong one, the smart one, the one Hiashi had chosen over her to take on this fight.

'_Yet he has failed Hinata…'_ That nagging voice in the back of her mind whispered. _'Failed just like you…'_

Hinata shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts from her head before she could get sucked in. She was suppose to be helping Neji, even though he appeared not to care one way or the other over what was said.

"Neji the counsel members and myself have discussed this matter and we have decided you would be the best for this job."

Hinata and Neji's heads jerked up at almost the same instance at the sound of the Elder's voice, mentioning the dark haired male and the mentions of something that they had obviously missed while lost in their personal thoughts.

Neji stared blankly at the Elder, with some time and extra practice with Lee, Neji had become much better at pinpointing the exact location of the sounds he was hearing. Being able to see to such a great degree with the Byakyuugan had left the male's hearing skills a bit rusty. If there was one thing he was thankful for it was that this had left him an opportunity to fine tune those skills. Hinata however did not notice how well he was able to find the Elder, her own eyes were too busy staring at the man with confusion to glance at her husband.

"The Hokage has specifically asked for a strong individual from our ranks and what better person that you? Suna is dangerous territory, despite being our ally their territory is swarming with enemy Nin that need to be taken care of as soon as possible. The Kazekage himself is very powerful but he cannot possibly enter battle at all times with his other duties and while he has many men on his force, the presence of a Hyuuga in battle would be of great help to the cause according to the Hokage," The Elder spoke slowly as if speaking to a fool as he explained perhaps what he had already said while Neji and Hinata had been lost in their own thoughts. "This also arranges a stronger tie of trust between ourselves, the Hyuuga clan as well as Konoha and the Kazekage, he will know we place utter trust in him by sending not only a strong warrior but our leader as well."

Hinata couldn't say a word as she stared at him wide eyed. They were trying to get rid of Neji's presence it was so painfully obvious she almost felt her eyes start to well with frustrated tears. Beside her she could feel Neji tense so hard she was afraid his body would snap.

"With all do respect Elder, I hardly think I am in the correct physical conditions to be undertaking a more than diplomatic trip to Suna." Neji's voice was high with tension and the sound quivered a little when he finally spoke.

"That is very strange that you would say so cousin," Hanabi replied this time, the first time she had spoken in the session and Hinata shivered just from the sound of her sister's voice. She was afraid of what the other would say before she even said it. "I saw you at the training grounds yesterday with that student of Jounin Maito. You seemed to take great pride in defeating him easily despite your handicap."

Hinata tilted her head to the side, her eyes flickering to her husband's face that was tense with worry at her sister's words.

It was true that they had taken a trip to the grounds and met Lee there for a small sparing session. However the fact that Neji had beaten Lee was not because he was able to overcome his blindness so easily, it was more that Lee was so reluctant to go hard against Neji when he was already at a disadvantage. He also didn't want to hurt Neji's pride by easily defeating him so hard when Neji had been the one to start the spar in the first place. Neji probably knew what the spandex clad ninja had done but he had not allowed himself to mention it if he did. Such was male pride.

"Lee and I were not going full out," Neji admitted as the silence stretched thin. "In a true fight I would have been killed. I am in no shape to properly take on this task that you ask of me."

"That is not a problem," The Elder cut back in before Hanabi could open her mouth and she looked decidedly angry at the older man for refusing to allow her to make a comment on her cousin's words. "I have already spoken to Tsunade on this matter myself and she agrees that if you are up to her expectations within another month then you will be allowed to take this post. I trust you are doing everything within your power to return to your full potential Neji."

"Of course but-!"

"Or perhaps you feel you are too weak to properly take on this assignment?"

Neji fell silent, grounding his teeth and Hinata felt her heart sink. They were playing his emotions against him so easily!

"A-ah…..I would...r-r-really like you to Elder…" Hinata could feel her heart thudding so hard against her chest she was certain it would bust free as she stuttered furiously. "I…that is…I…I would like Neji to be here very much for the birth of his son!"

The words were rushed and barely loud enough for the room to hear and her eyes dropped to the floor as soon as they were out of her mouth. Silence filled the room and Hinata could feel the burning of eyes on her head as she stared furiously at the mat. Neji could not go away, she wanted him here, especially after the last time. She wasn't by any means a good ninja, her emotions often overflowed and clouded her judgment, thus she was only partially ashamed to admit she was frightened to see Neji go away again especially with herself in such a state.

"Would you mean to say that your state of being is more important that the safety of this country?"

Hinata winced at the harsh words of the Elder as if she had just been stabbed. It was true that her words sounded selfish and perhaps they were.

"I…I didn't mean…"

"Could you be any more selfish in your plea before this counsel? Your place is not even within this room and yet you feel that your voice your protest as if it was of the most importance!"

The dark haired girl fell silent, biting her lip so hard she could feel blood welling from her skin. She wouldn't allow herself to cry in front of these people or let them humiliate her again like they had before.

"I am sure my wife is merely concerned for my health as well." Neji cut in before Hinata could think of something to say in return to the harsh words directed at her. She didn't understand why he had done something like that. He had never protected her from verbal abuse in the past and so this interference was something unexpected. "However if you are certain that I am the best candidate from our clan for this job I cannot turn such an important honor down."

A soft squeak of protest broke from Hinata's lips at Neji's words but she fell silent at the feeling of his hand on hers squeezing so tightly she thought for sure her hand would break.

"I knew you would not let us down Neji. You are truly your father's son."

Neji said nothing, his head bowing and Hinata could do nothing but sit there, a sick feeling building in the bottom of her stomach.

**Flashback continued**

'_Hinata,_

_Can you meet me today for ramen? You know the usual spot! I have something important I have to talk to you about! Please come alone, this is super super important!!_

_Naruto_

The note was pinned to her bed when she returned from the counsel room and for a moment she wondered how Naruto could possibly have gotten it there before reality set in and she remembered this was Naruto after all. He somehow always managed the impossible. There was no reason not to do as the note asked her, she had not seen her blonde friend and past crush for some time and it would certainly be nice to see him for a while even if it appeared to be on some sort of business.

Neji didn't even make much of a protest when she told him she was going out. He usually became tired and irritable after counsel meetings and today was no different, he had barely grunted out consent before turning over on the futon for a much needed nap as far as Hinata was concerned. He was much like a two year old when he didn't get a nap, grouching and unbearable.

It didn't take long for her to arrive at the ramen stand and as expected Naruto was already there, his face buried deep in a bowl of ramen slurping away happily. She had a little difficulty with her heavy stomach to get herself on the tall stool but when Naruto glanced up and saw her there he was very much the gentleman, abandoning the ramen to give her a hand.

"Long time no see huh? I see the married life is treating you pretty well!" Naruto shot her a cheesy grin and Hinata couldn't help but blush at him laying a hand on her swelled stomach.

"It…isn't so horrible…Neji is very good to me. And what about you…? I haven't seen you around hardly at all since Sasuke returned."

She was surprised to see the blonde blush and stare at the table top. Of course, the two must be very happy, or as happy as two ninjas could be together under the circumstances. It was a warm feeling of happiness that spread through her at his fortune. She was relieved that she didn't even feel an ounce of jealousy.

"I'm happy for you two,"

"But that's what I need to talk to you about!" Naruto suddenly blurted out causing Hinata to draw back in surprise. He wanted to talk about…relationship problems…with her? For a moment she stared at him with a stumped look on her face.

"I don't know how much help I can really be to you…" She murmured softly, not sure why he would ask her for help. "Wouldn't Sakura or Ino be much more suited for this kind of thing?"

"How could you let this happen?" The anger in her friends voice caused her to shrink back slightly as she watched him with confused eyes.

"I don't know…what you mean?" She whispered softly, afraid to raise her voice when the other looked so unhappy.

"How can you say that? Don't you know what is going on within your own clan?" Hurt blue eyes stared at her and Hinata winced once again, at a loss for words. It was true that she was out of touch with the happenings of her clan but she had only realized how badly she was out of the loop with passing of the last couple of weeks.

"I…I'm sorry…I don't really…I don't usually…I mean…I don't…I don't go to counsel often…Neji-"

"Then he told you nothing?"

"No…What is it…?" Hinata was feeling a bit alarmed now as she stared at the blonde with worried milky eyes. She hadn't heard anything that had pertained to him at all in the past two weeks but there had to be something else going on from the way he talked.

"The Hyuuga clan has proposed marriage to Sasuke."

There was a long moment of silence as Hinata stared at him with a shocked open mouth look. What…was he saying…?

"I don't understand…" She replied weakly.

"He's accepted to marry your sister!" Naruto exploded out, clenching his hands into fists and slamming them hard against the table top causing his bowl to slosh over.

"Hanabi…?"

"I don't know her name…I just know that he's agreed… He wont even talk to me about this. He says that it's for the best but…"

Hinata was shocked to see the tears threatening to spill out of the blonde's sky blue eyes when he stared at her.

"I haven't heard anything about this…" The dark haired girl placed a soft quivering hand on the fox boy's shoulder hesitantly. "You say he won't tell you why he has accepted this offer?"

"No…" Naruto's voice was mournful as he stared at the table, rubbing his nose on the back of his jacket sleeve and for a moment they were kids again, helplessly lost in a world that didn't feel like being fair to them when it came to anything. Hinata was startled when the blonde grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her slightly, her hair fluttering into her face and she grasped Naruto's arms to stop him. "Is she pretty…? What does she have that I don't?! Is it because I can't give him an heir? Is that what your sister is offering him?"

"I don't know-" Hinata tried to protest his words.

"It is isn't it? He's always wanted children…" Naruto was sniveling and rubbing his face on his sleeve, his voice garbled by the movement as he spoke.

"I'm sure that's not it-"

"What else could it be? A child with the Byakyuugan and Sharingan would be something he would desire."

Hinata was silent, unable to disagree. It would be ample reason for her clan to attempt to take the Uchiha under their wing, even if it meant taking on the dangers he brought with him from his past mistakes. A child with such ability…what would it be like? And with parents such as Sasuke and Hanabi? She couldn't help but shiver.

"I…I didn't know anything about this…I'm sorry…"Hinata glanced at him helplessly uncertain at what to say.

"You have to tell them that this can't happen!" Naruto's fingers dug into her shoulders and Hinata couldn't help but wince at the force.

"You're hurting me…" She whispered softly, grasping his hands. Naruto let out a small noise of frustration as he leaned forward, his face pressed against her shoulder. She could feel him shivering slightly against her and the warmth of wet tears seeping through her shirt although he didn't make a sound. Tears pricked her own white eyes as she held the other helplessly.

"I….Him and I….we….I mean…." Naruto struggled to speak, his voice muffled against her shirt.

"You love him." She replied softly against his hair. "But….is there really anything I can do…?"

"Don't let this happen…"

"They don't listen to me…I am not important to them, I'm just Hinata…" She felt herself sink with depression at her own words. There was nothing more she wanted in the world than to help her friend. Naruto was one of her most important people but what could she do? It was true that no one paid her any mind.

"Please…I'll never ask you for another thing Hinata…I need you to do this for me!" Naruto's fingers curled in the front of her shirt, clutching it without care. "I can't….I cant lose him…He means more to me than anything! I don't want to be alone anymore…"

A cold feeling swept through Hinata as she stared at him with worried eyes. How could she say no when he said things like that? They were things that she could understand all too well and she knew that she could never say no to anyone, least of all Naruto.

**End Flashback**

"Do you really think that this will help you take control of your clan?" Tsunade watched the woman across from her who was bent over panting. At the sound of her teacher's voice, Hinata straightened, her belly protruding far from her body and rubbed the sweat from her face.

"Do you think that by doing nothing I can feel content at the state of my clan? I cannot hope to honor my father if I sit back and do nothing…I have done nothing already for far too long."

A slight smirk drifted over the Hokage's face. When she had consulted Kurenai about her student, the woman had told her that although Hinata was rather shy she was also very committed to whatever she decided to do. The longer they continued to train together, the more Tsunade was seeing that this statement was very true.

"Your father would have been proud of you," There was a silence for a moment as Hinata stared past the blonde woman.

"My father was never proud of anything I did." She replied finally, her stance dropping and Tsunade stared at her as if she had just said something very foolish.

"He always had very good things to say about you when he was alive, he said you were like your mother."

Hinata stared at busty woman standing across from her with a look of surprise crossing her face. She had never once heard her father mention her mother again after she had become bedridden and had assumed he was trying to remove her from his memory all together.

"Father said that….about me?"

"Many times," Tsunade watched her with curious eyes. "Has no one ever told you these things? He was very proud of you, even though you weren't as strong as Hanabi. He said you felt more, desirable for a person but it wasn't suiting for a leader."

Hinata's eyes flashed slightly and for a moment Tsunade thought the girl across from her was going to cry but no tears came much to the Hokage's relief.

"A desirable person for him was Neji, but he was wrong…" The dark haired girl murmured softly.

"Neji would be a very good leader if he did not have such a strong disadvantage." Tsunade pointed out softly.

"What disadvantage! He is strong and he could beat the Elder if he wanted to! Why hasn't he done so? Why has he let this happen?" Her frustration was evident in her voice and for a moment Tsunade felt something close to pity for her foolishness but it was gone in a flash.

"Don't be so stupid! Who can fight against the mark of the Branch House? If the Elder felt like it, he could kill Neji."

A soft noise came from between Hinata's lips as all the blood drained down from her face. Tsunade shifted slightly, worried that the girl would keel over in a dead faint. Silence hung between them for several minutes before Hinata could finally reply.

"I didn't think…." She swallowed and clenched her fists tightly, her nails digging into the soft skin of her palms. "I didn't know…that the mark was such a serious problem…"

"It has the power to kill although it would take a very powerful individual like the Elder to be able to wield it in such a dangerous manner. Your father trusted him to protect Neji from any opposition, however it would seem that was not the right thing to do."

"If you knew these things then why didn't you do something!" Hinata's eyes bore down on her but Tsunade refused to look away or feel ashamed.

"There was no reason to step in. Your clan was still functional and remained loyal to the country. Even though the one in charge is not the one your father may have picked, things are still for the most part peaceful. I cannot waste energy on my clans when there are more pressing matters on the outside."

"How can you say that?" Hinata whispered softly causing Tsunade to blink. "You would allow them to send Neji to Suna in his condition-"

"That isn't true and you know it. I said he would be allowed to take the mission if he passed my personal inspection. You know as well as I that I will be saying no."

"Yet you couldn't say no in the first place?"

"It's a diplomatic move," Tsunade tried to keep from sounded aggravated, even when training Sakura the girl hadn't questioned her motives nearly as much. Perhaps because things had not been nearly as personal. She could feel a headache coming on, god she needed a drink right now.

"Was promising Hanabi to Sasuke a diplomatic move as well?" There was a painful note in the girl's voice that made Tsunade suddenly feel very uncomfortable.

"When did you learn of that?"

"Naruto…"

A helpless look crossed the Hokage's face as she looked away from the younger woman standing across from her. She knew full well how torn up Naruto was about these things. He had come to her fresh after a fight with Sasuke over the matter an emotional wreck. It was not a conversation she would want to relive for anything.

"I told him it was his choice. In the end, what can I do?"

"Forbid it." Hinata replied firmly. It was the strongest Tsunade could remember the other being since she had known the Hyuuga girl.

"That is not any of our business," She tried to sound harsh but her voice betrayed her unhappiness with the situation. When she had offered it to the Uchiha she had expected him to refuse. She had hoped the relationship he held with Naruto was enough to keep him from wanting to continue the Uchiha line. However it seemed their love was only skin deep for the dark haired boy, or so he claimed.

"What of Naruto then!"

"I have told you, personal problems are not of my concern. If he wishes to wed your sister then that is what he will do, I cannot help Naruto this time," Tsunade sounded tired as she stared at the woman across from her. "Now prepare yourself!"

Hinata's lips pressed together tightly as she slid her body into position to attack the other once again.

"Bones I can heal, but broken hearts are not something I can fix…."

* * *

On the third Friday of the month, Neji's eye slight returned and on following Monday, Hinata went into labor. The twins were born six hours later. Hinata could not have been more relieved after the birth, the effort had taken her more than she had thought she could bear.

"Where is my son?" Neji demanded as he stared down at the bundles in his wife's arms. A tired, red faced Hinata could barely summon the strength to hold up the smaller of the two bundles. Neji had snatched him from her eagerly, staring down into the strange wrinkled face of his son. He did not so much as glance at his wife or his daughter. Hinata said nothing though, cradling the remaining child in her arms.

"He is what you wanted." She spoke after a moment, glancing up towards her husband as he held the twin.

"You are my son," He spoke softly to the child, who was starting to squirm, letting out a frustrated cry. Neji only smiled, never once looking away.


	8. Chapter 7

Lost Moments

Lost Moments

By: Lynn Metallium

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I'm nothing but a poor little American girl who had to spend all of her money on college and therefore even if you sued me you wouldn't get any money anyway. So please don't get mad and hurt me Xx;;

IMPORTANT NOTE: Please read/note the changes in the end of chapter six about Hinata's pregnancy and that she now has twins.

Chapter 7

Neji had only been gone six months but for Hinata it seemed like sixty years. Although training took up much of her time, the nights left her feeling lonely. When she reached over to where her husband should have laid, she only found the cold empty bed sheets.

There was no way to know, Tsunade had told her, just how long Neji would be away in Suna. She was, she said, sorry that Neji would be missing the first months if not the first years of his children's lives but… such was the life of a ninja. Hinata had only nodded in agreement. The Hyuuga heir had not expected much pity from the Hokage, she was after all, right. To be a ninja, one had to make sacrifices.

Things were strange in the Hyuuga household since Neji had left. Hinata received a strange mixture of reactions from respect to disgust from her fellow Hyuugas. Although they respected her for having contributed to the growth of the Hyuuga clan by producing a son and for establishing herself as a mother, they still did not care for her as a person.

The majority of elders still found her weak. Although they never came out and said so, Hinata knew they viewed her as nothing more than a vessel to produce heirs. It infuriated her to a degree but for now she held her tongue as well as her temper over the situation.

Since her pregnancy and Neji's leave, Hinata had come to notice things were not as she had dreamed. She had been a fool to think things were safe within her husband's hands.

Neji was strong, but not strong enough to stand up to the counsel as her father might have wished. Not when the counsel members her father had trusted the most had turned against him. It was pure greed that drove them, to hold power and sway over one of the most prestigious clans in Konoha. She knew now, that Neji and herself had been merely pawns in their game all along. And they had aided them in the best way possible, by giving birth to a son.

Hinata's heart ached when she thought of her children. They had been whisked away from her the moment she had return to the grounds. Of course she could see them whenever she wanted but…it was not the same. She was always supervised, especially with her son. She was never allowed to nurse him and barely able to hold him.

There was little she could do in protest, her son were the future to the clan and he would be guarded over day and night, molded by the clan into "true" Hyuugas. Even in infancy, her son had become the counsel's pawn just like his mother and father.

The danger was very real to Hinata now with the birth of her children, just how dangerous things were becoming in her clan. The way things stood now meant demise for her family, she was certain. Yet no matter how many threads she tried to grasp in attempt to hold things together, even more slipped through her fingers.

* * *

"The counsel has already signed the papers; your daughter will receive her mark at four years of age, five if she is sickly and unable to withstand the procedure."

Hinata never even lifted her head to stare at the Elder as she felt her body break out into a cold sweat. They would mark her daughter as a Branch member. She felt faint and almost gagged.

"My daughter is of Main line blood, she has no reason to be marked as such," Even to her own ears, Hinata's voice sounded soft and weak. She swallowed hard, trying to draw her courage around herself, for her daughter's sake.

"Surely you are not so naïve as to think she is going to stay within the Main branch. She is the second born, her blood will be weak."

"She is of the same blood as my son, she was born even before my son," The Hyuuga heir's voice wavered still, despite her attempts to be strong. "She has no reason to be marked."

"You are acting rather foolish in the matter don't you think? Your own husband is of the Branch, and you think your daughter deserves to be left with us? You know the rules and yet you try to bend them to your own will. Don't be such a selfish sniveling woman."

"The rules have been bent before," Her tone sounded more aggressive and Hinata felt a stab of pride for herself as she finally looked up at the Elder.

"I do not recall-"

"Hanabi should have been marked!" The words flew from her mouth before she could stop them. Hanabi's eyes widened from the dais where she sat next to the Elder before narrowing. Hinata had never seen such venom in her sister's face before and a chill raced down her spine. She had done a horrible thing, Hinata realized. A very horrible thing.

"Do not speak of things you do not even understand. No wonder your father would never let you ascend to head this clan. You understand nothing."

"He never meant for you to lead this clan either," Her tongue was flying away with her and Hinata barely managed not to shrink back under the gazes of the counsel.

"Father never meant for you to live! I was trained to lead this clan, it was for me!" Hanabi's voice broke out as she stood furiously, leaping upon her sister's body like a lioness going in for the kill. Hinata barely had time to roll sideways, dodging a vicious jab chakra laced jab aimed towards her chest.

The two women rolled across the floor, Hanabi's wrists captured by her sister's hands as she strained to wrap the digits around Hinata's neck. Hinata knew if she let go even for a second she would die in her sister's murderous rage. Hinata drew her knee upward, slamming it into the larger woman's stomach, knocking the air from her with a whoosh before shoving her to the side to struggle to her feet.

Hanabi was quick though, grabbing her sister's ankles and dragging her down to the floor and leaping upon her once more, her fingers poised to punch her in true Hyuuga fashion. Their eyes flashed and the veins around their eyes swelled dangerously as the two rolled sideways once more, Hinata trying to dislodge the younger woman once more but her trick wouldn't work a second time and she nearly screamed out when Hanabi's fingers jabbed into her unprotected stomach.

Hinata swung, her fingers clenched into a tight fist and caught her sister across the face, causing her neck to snap to the side. It wasn't normal for a Hyuuga to punch so and Hanabi was stunned, leaving enough time for Hinata to aim a chakra laced jab towards her sister.

Her hand was grabbed though before she could connect and the two women were dragged apart by red faced guards who had been so shocked by the attack between the sisters they had only been able to gap at first.

"Get out," The Elder's voice was as cold as ice. "You humiliate us all with this shameful display! Get out!"

* * *

Hinata was all too glad to escape the counsel room, escaping instead to her mother's room. Her body shook as she tried to steady her breathing, now that she was alone, seated next to her mother's bed.

"Mother, I have done a foolish thing," Her voice was quiet but she knew the other woman must be listening to her. "Every time I have done a foolish thing I have come here, hoping you can save me…"

A sob broke from between her lips and Hinata slumped over her mother's bed ridden form, grasping her mother's cold hand.

"How dare they…"She mumbled against the blankets, her tears sliding down her cheeks as she buried her face into her mother's side. " I have been manipulated all these years by these men; men I had thought knew what was best for my life yet it was only for their selfish whims!"

"All this time I've been such a fool. A stupid little girl with her head stuck in the clouds. I can't allow them to do this to my daughter, to my son! These are my children! Not their pawns to move across the board any way the counsel wishes,"

How Hinata wished that her mother was still able to move, to speak. She would have given anything to hear the woman's voice, telling her that things would work out and that it would be ok. She would have given anything to feel her mother hug her.

"I understand now, how easy it is to give up, to surrender to them…they are ruthless men and we suffer for it." Hinata lifted her head to stare at her mother who appeared to be looking at something her daughter couldn't see outside her window.

"Would you be ashamed to know what has become of this clan? Did you just not care for us? Did you not care that we would struggle the same as you?" Hinata shook her head, embarrassed by her own bitter statements.

"You are our mother and yet…here you lie. I do not know if I should feel bitter or relieved that you are like this, gone somewhere safe, where they can not manipulate you anymore mother…"

There was no sign that the woman even knew her daughter was talking to her as she continued to stare outside the window. Hinata wondered if the woman even comprehended her words, or if she was just ignoring any guilt she may have felt over the situation. Maybe the woman truly was nothing more than an empty shell now, her mind long since gone. Maybe it was useless to even speak to her like this.

"I half wish you would truly escape this miserable life and go free in your death," She murmured half heartedly at the woman, who was still ignoring her.

A soft knock at the sliding door drew Hinata from her thoughts as a maid entered a room with her mother's dinner.

"It is time for mistress to be fed Hinata-sama, if you please…"

"Leave it. I will feed her myself,"

The woman bowed, placing the tray on the night stand next to Hotaru's bedside before bowing once more and scurrying from the room. Hinata was almost certain she saw relief in the woman's eyes. Hotaru was difficult to feed, Hinata had found out and the women who served the Lady found the task hardly desirable. Hinata though, didn't mind, the woman was still her mother regardless of the difficulty of the task.

"Come mother, let us eat dinner. You may have given up on your children but I will not give up on you."

* * *

Hinata was awoken by a sharp wailing in the early morning hours. At first her sleep blurred mind couldn't understand what was going on. It was early, why was someone making such a troublesome noise? It took several seconds for her mind to catch up to the noise to identify it as hysterical weeping. Sleep fled from her brain as the Hyuuga woman sat up and forced herself from bed, pulling her nightgown around her tightly as she moved into the hall.

Outside the wailing was even more pronounced, several voices sobbing together causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand. As she quickly moved down the hallway towards the sound she was nearly knocked over by a maid rushing to get past her.

"Halt, where are you going? What is going on?" Hinata grasped the woman by the arm, causing her to gasp and grab Hinata in return.

"Mistress, the Lady is dying!"

The woman's voice cut through her like a cold knife and Hinata felt her heart leap into her throat, lodging there heavily as she tried to force herself to breath. Yet all she could do was stand there and stare stupidly at the woman. Her mother…

Hinata shoved away from the woman, dashing down the hallways towards her mother's room. This was impossible! She had only just seen her mother a few hours earlier and nothing had been amiss. How could things change so quickly? Despite her already deteriorated mind, Hotaru had seemed in mostly good health. Surely there must be some mistake, her mother could be merely sick!

When she finally skidded into the hallway where her mother's room was located she was shocked to see several maids clustered outside the door, the apparent source of the wailing. Approaching them, the women quickly silenced and merely stared at her blankly, as if they had never seen her before. A few whispered to one another behind their hands as they stared at her.

"Please, move out of my way, I wish to see my mother," Hinata's voice sounded calm, even though her insides were raging. The women stepped back, clearing the way to the door but their eyes never left her, leaving Hinata feeling horribly unnerved as she stepped into the room.

As she stepped into the room Hinata felt several pairs of eyes land on her and she was surprised to find not only the physician there but the Elder and Hanabi, watching her with cold eyes. For a moment they all stood, regarding one another and the silence held heavy and pregnant around them.

"Lady Hotaru is dead." The Elder spoke finally.

"But…how…" Hinata felt cold all over as she stared at the three others in the room. "No one came to me, tell me what happened."

"We aren't certain at the moment. There are a few ideas but nothing concrete yet. I am sorry for your loss Hanabi-sama, Hinata-sama." The physician spoke finally, his face unreadable. He knew more than he was letting on, Hinata realized as she stared at him with distrustful eyes. The elder man however, looked away to retrieve his instruments instead, packing his back with slow methodical movements.

Hinata's eyes flickered back over the Elder and Hanabi, who was caressing their mothers hair with a trembling hand. Nether would look at her, causing her heart to clench further with grief and alarm. The silence hung around them so heavy Hinata imagined she might suffocate.

"I will send for someone to remove the body for preparation," The doctor spoke again, the only one who seemed willing to break the silence around him. Picking up his bag, he shot a look at the Elder before slowly shuffling from the room. After a moment the Elder too, left the room leaving the two sisters in the dim room alone.

For a moment they said nothing to one another until Hinata could stand the silence no longer and finally spoke to the other who had yet to turn around to look at her.

"Hanabi…" The younger girl whirled around at the sound of the other's voice and Hinata was shocked at the fury and malice she saw on her sister's face. "Hanabi!"

"You killed my mother,"

"What?" Hinata could only gap at her in utter shock. "How could you say such a thing? I-I would never-!"

"Spiteful little whore! You took her from me! You wanted to hurt me! You cant kill me so you killed my mother!"

"She is my mother too! Why would I kill my own mother! I love her more than you ever will!" Hinata couldn't stop the words flying from her mouth and she stepped back, covering her own mouth with trembling fingers unable to believe herself.

"You think you can fool everyone! But you can't fool me you worthless bitch! I saw you! I saw you kill her!"

"I- I never-"

"I saw you! You sat with her and complained! You hated her!" Hanabi was advancing on her now, forcing Hinata to back up until her back hit the wall preventing her from moving any further. She put out her hands in an attempt to keep the other girl back.

"I love my mother-"

"You wanted her dead! You said it yourself, you wanted her to die! And you knew if you killed her you could hurt me! You hate me! Because I have the power and you don't! You're nothing but a bitter, jealous, manipulating whore!"

"Hanabi!" Hinata shrank back slightly as the other woman leaned closer, her hands posed to strike the other if she even appeared to move in a threatening fashion, yet Hanabi only whispered softly in her ear.

"If you think you can play this game with me and hurt me so, then you are wrong. You will only dream of being without pain when I marry the Uchiha sister. I will crush you."

Hanabi whirled around, leaving Hinata shaken and pale against the wall.

* * *

Hinata had poisoned her mother. She was the last one to see her mother alive. She had fed her mother that night. She had said she wanted her mother dead! She hated Hanabi so much that she would kill her own mother to gain revenge on her sister. Those were the rumors that floated around the Hyuuga compound less than two days after Hyuuga Hotaru's death.

Hinata herself was distraught. Her mother was dead, by suspicious means no less. She found herself sitting up late at night wondering if it had truly been her fault or not. It was true…she had been the last to see her mother well. She had spoon fed her mother the soup that was said to have killed her. But Hinata had not poisoned that soup. She had done nothing to it!

Yet it didn't seem to matter. There were none who were willing to take her side. When she walked through the grounds she felt heavy with the weight of eyes upon her. The accusing glares made her feel nauseated and so she hid in her room to stay away from them. Of course that only heightened everyone's suspicions of her actions that day.

By the time her mother's cremation came around Hinata was at her wits end. She couldn't even go visit her children without the nurse maids watching her with distressed eyes. As if at any moment Hinata would turn wild and kill someone else.

She had stood next to Hanabi at the cremation, but her sister had not turn to look at her even once, despite Hinata's desperate stares. How could her sister even dream for a moment that Hinata was to blame for their mothers death.

She had loved their mother, more than anyone. She had been the one watching out for her! Watching to make sure she was bathed and fed. No one else had looked after Hotaru like Hinata had…no one…

Her eyes had watered as she watched the ashes of her mother's body disappear on the wind. It was the first time she had actually been able to cry for Hotaru. Until now she had been too numb to even bring herself to do much else than stare vacantly whenever she thought of the woman.

Hanabi still didn't even look at her when Hinata's shoulders started to shake with the effort not to sob. Her sister's face looked stiff and cold as she turned away to walk away from the ceremony, not even glancing back to her sister once. It left the elder Hyuuga girl feeling cold and uncomfortable.

Hanabi hated her, of that much Hinata was certain. She was also certain it had to do with the fight they had had in the counsel room. Hanabi had always been power hungry since she had been a child. She had been deceived, which was unfortunate, but not Hinata's fault. Hanabi had grown up believing she would be the one to take over the Hyuuga clan.

Yet now, things were not going according to her plan. It must hurt, Hinata thought, to think one thing and never get it. She could on one level, sympathize with her younger sister. However it didn't change the facts that Hanabi had spread the rumors about Hinata. She knew Hanabi was the one who had whispered in others ears, starting the gossip, the rumors and the cold stares.

Hanabi's threat still hung in Hinata's mind. When she married the Uchiha… Hinata still couldn't believe the other man had agreed to the marriage. Sasuke had always been a little strange and messed up in his logic but one would have thought he would have learned his lesson about making poor choices.

Thinking of the Uchiha reminded her that she had promised to help Naruto. Sasuke couldn't marry her sister. Remembering though made her feel guilty. She couldn't help her blonde friend now until she cleared her name. No one would listen to a woman they thought was a murderer.

It hurt her that they would be so fooled by her sister and her malicious rumors. What had happened had been unfortunate and Hinata was desperate to know just who had killed her mother. It had not been her to poison the soup and so…who? ….

That was something she couldn't do on her own. She needed help, people who would trust her. Hinata needed people who would believe her over Hanabi and she knew those people were few and far between. There were few on her side before her mother's death and now there was sure to be none. All were so certain due to the strange circumstances that Hinata was to blame. Hinata needed someone unfading by her side, even though they didn't always get along or see eye to eye. She needed her husband. She needed Neji.

* * *

"A letter came for you Hyuuga," Gaara's eyes flickered over the long haired man who stood in front of him, his back stiff.

"Not a normal one, from Hina-…my wife?" His tongue almost tripped on the word, it was still, after all this time, troublesome to refer to Hinata as his wife.

Gaara gave him a look that seemed to say, 'what are you, stupid Hyuuga?' and Neji had the grace to look at least a bit flustered by it. Of course the letter wouldn't be from Hinata if Gaara was speaking to him about it. Hinata's letters came by regular post, in fact he had just received on only a few days ago.

"Your Hokage has written you a letter about your clan, it seems there have been some problems."

"Problems?" He was hardly surprised, but if the Hokage was writing him here then the problems must have been far more serious than Neji had thought.

"It appears that your aunt has died, poisoned by an unknown source. The Hokage asks me to give you leave, if you wish it, to return home to your wife until the mourning periods have passed. You may go if you wish, Temari said it might be important to you."

For a moment the long haired man was silent as he stared at the Kazekage's floor. His aunt was dead. Hinata's mother… poisoned of all things…

"No, I will stay here. Thank you for your offer Kazekage," He replied after a moment. Gaara raised a nonexistent eyebrow.

"Temari insisted that you might be distraught over your family, however you seem unfazed. Do you not care about this woman?"

"We were never very close," Neji replied, evading the conversation as best he could.

He barely even remembered what his aunt was like before she had been bed ridden and out of her mind. The long haired nin couldn't say he had many feelings for a woman who couldn't even remember her own daughters, much less her nephew. Hinata might be a bit distraught over the thing but she would recover. Her mother was as good as a vegetable, there couldn't be much of a relationship there.

"The letter says this woman was poisoned. I would find that alarming," Gaara spoke once more after a moment, regarding the other with curious eyes. "I would be troubled if any of my nin were poisoned."

"Of course, as would I. But I am here now, I am sure my counsel will take care of the matter. I would do more harm than good to return and get in the middle of their investigations."

Gaara gave him another unreadable look that left Neji feeling slightly unnerved. He hated how the other could look at him like that, as if he were digging deep inside Neji's mind. Of course he knew the red head couldn't do such a thing but it still didn't keep his mind from supplying the idea whenever Gaara gave him such a strange look that made the hair on the back of Neji's neck stand up.

"Then you have no wish to go, to see your wife? You have been away from home for some time. Temari says you have children now. She says that parents often like to see their children. Perhaps you would like to see your children as well?"

"No, I have work here to do. They are small, they would not know me even if was to return home now." Neji resisted the urge to squirm, why did the red headed man have to ask so many questions?

"You will stay then?"

"Of course. I will not let down my mission."

"Then I will report to Tsunade."

* * *

Authors Notes: Aha yeah…only a year in the making…lets hope it doesn't take a year to finish another chapter Xx;; Hopefully not. Read and Reviiiiew please, the stroking of ego through reviews is gooood.


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